Don’t you have confidence in yourself? Do you find it difficult to make decisions? Maybe you don’t have good self-esteem. Discover what this term means and the psychological secrets to improve it.
The self-esteem It is one of the most important elements to be successful and happy in life. Loving yourself and enjoying healthy self-esteem can be the key to reaching the goal or purposes that you have in mind. In fact, having low self-esteem can cause people to develop diseases such as depression or anxiety. When someone with this condition does not focus on improving self-esteem, they can make bad decisions, fall into destructive relationships, or stop reaching their maximum potential.
On the other hand, when someone enjoys a self-esteem too high, in the sense that you give too much importance to yourself, this can also be detrimental to your relationships. So much so that this can be a sign not only of a person who believes themselves to be perfect, but perhaps of a narcissistic personality disorder. This disease is characterized by an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy towards other people.
Self-esteem is a fundamental part of our lives. The balance of this characteristic of our personality is perhaps one of the most sought-after treasures. Have a good self-esteem It means enjoying a realistic but positive view of yourself. To improve self-esteem and reach our best potential, one of the keys is to know what it is.
The self-esteem They are the beliefs, feelings and evaluations we make about ourselves. It is determined by the way we treat ourselves. Self-esteem is formed throughout life, and is greatly influenced by the links we have established with important people in our environment during our development, and the mark they have left on us.
When the self-esteem is low, it is possible to improve it. Any time is a good time to invest in yourself. To strengthen self-esteem it is necessary to be perseverant, patient, constant, kind to oneself and, above all, have the will to change. In this way, we could say that self-esteem is the narrative or story that we have created about ourselves. In working on self-esteem we are trying to change the narrative around the central image we have about ourselves. Therefore, the best way to know how to improve self-esteem is precisely to understand where this image comes from.
What to take into account to work on self-esteem?
To love yourself and leave behind any of the self-esteem problems that we can have, it is essential to develop the three most important elements that make it up. To improve self-esteem we must keep these components in mind:
Self-perception: Self-perception is the way in which a person perceives or thinks about themselves. In many cases, low self-esteem goes hand in hand with a poor perception of ourselves. When we consider increasing self-esteem, it is vital to change the mental image we have around us.
Perception of others: The next element that shapes self-esteem It is the perception we have about how they see us from the outside. That is, what they think others think about themselves. To improve self-esteem it is vital not to have a negative view of the image we present to others.
Ideal self: We all have an idealized image of what we really want to be. So much so that for increase self-esteem The idealized self should not be something unrealizable, but rather an image that we can achieve.
Through these three components people can begin to work to improve self-esteem Even so, it is important to take into account how we are currently seeing ourselves and what we should work on to increase self-esteem.
There are many theories around the dynamics or elements that are involved in self-esteem. In this way, one of the best-known theories about this construct is precisely the one presented by the psychologist Abraham Maslow. In them this researcher describes self-esteem as one of the basic human motivations.
In this theory, the psychologist suggested that people require the esteem of others to have respect for themselves. The self-esteem In this way, it is one of the needs that must be satisfied so that an individual can grow as a person and achieve self-realization.
“The biggest problem we have as humanity is that people don’t love themselves. It’s time for that to start changing.”
How do you know if you have a lack of self-esteem?
There are some signs to know if we really have healthy self-esteem. According to different research, people who firmly enjoy this personality construct have the following characteristics.
They do not dwell on past and negative experiences
These may be some of the most characteristic signs of a person who has a healthy self-esteem level These types of people accept their defects without judging themselves, although they always seek to improve. In this way they can have a positive view of themselves but know what their shortcomings are.
How to detect if you have low self-esteem?
In the same way that there are signs that indicate that a person is enjoying a good self-esteem There are also signs that reveal low self-esteem. Among the most characteristic we can find the following.
You underestimate yourself in relation to others and when you don’t achieve what you set out to do.
You notice that your thoughts and beliefs about yourself make you feel bad. Phrases like “I don’t deserve”, “I’m not worth it”, “I’m useless”, “I wish I hadn’t been born”, “there’s something wrong with me”, “I’ll never make it”, “I’m a failure”, etc. indicate low self-esteem.
You depend on external evaluations. If they value you positively you feel good, and if they value you negatively, you sink.
You are manipulable.
Lack of self-support. Consequence of the previous one and the lack of recognition of one’s own capabilities.
You compare yourself to others, and you always lose.
You judge yourself and are very hard on yourself.
You think you do things wrong and you punish yourself.
You blame yourself.
You wear yourself out with all this emotional hustle and bustle and you run out of energy to achieve your goals.
Suffering from any of these characteristics in the self-esteem It can prevent a person from developing in all areas of their life. In many cases these self-esteem dynamics harm both the intimate and professional life of an individual.
How can having low self-esteem harm you?
Have a low self-esteem It can impact all aspects of your life, especially when you need to trust yourself the most. It can harm you especially in personal relationships, at work, in your own health, when you set out to achieve something.
Have you heard of people who speak lovingly to plants and how it positively affects their growth? The same thing happens to people, we need to feel love to develop healthily, hence the importance of the words we speak to each other.
Why should you raise your self-esteem?
To motivate you to work the self-esteem It is vital to know how this personality trait can help you. Among the main advantages of enjoying good self-esteem, we can highlight the following.
Leave negativity behind: Improving self-esteem allows you to transform the negative phrases with which you address yourself into motivating, inspiring, positive phrases that will make you feel very good and will also give you energy to achieve your goals.
Change the perception of the world: When someone has a low self-esteem, if things don’t go as you expected or you “mess up” it can be perceived as a serious mistake. By increasing self-esteem, you can see mistakes as an opportunity to continue growing and learning.
Resilience: When someone achieves raise your self-esteem, develop more of your own resources by learning from your own adversities, that is, resilience. Having self-esteem will give you more strength and confidence in yourself and your abilities. A tool to head you in the direction you want with confidence.
Greater autonomy and empowerment: Do self-esteem exercises and knowing how to improve self-esteem can lead to being able to leave behind emotional dependence on others. In this way, the person becomes independent and firm in his or her words.
To get what you want and stop the self-boycott: Increase the self-esteem It is the effective way to achieve people’s success. When a person has low self-esteem it is very normal that he does not stop self-sabotaging and diminishing his own work.
Endurance: When things get difficult, the person with solid self-esteem draws strength from their own faith in their abilities to get ahead. The person with low self-esteem They sink into circumstances and become depressed for not achieving even what they consider simplest.
Leave the past behind: One of the most notable characteristics of raise self-esteem, is to start seeing your past as a life lesson. In this way, by increasing self-esteem, we learn from the past instead of blaming ourselves for it.
These can be all the advantages of a person who learns to deal with their self-esteem problems and try to improve self-esteem.
How to improve self-esteem?
For raise self-esteem It is vital to know yourself. In this way, before starting to improve self-esteem, it is very important to keep in mind what we really are. If you want to know how to work on self-esteem, you should take the following points into account.
Unconditional love towards oneself: The first key to enjoy good self-esteem It is self-love, love without judgments about whether we are good or bad, whether we have many abilities or few. The best example is the love that is generally felt for children, we do not love them because they are intelligent, handsome, affectionate, creative or sociable, we love them because they are our children, we accept them as they are, we educate them to be good people in general and if they need help in some aspect, for example academic, we look for solutions so that they can improve. This is how we should treat ourselves.
Accept yourself: It is impossible for us to love ourselves if we do not accept ourselves completely, with our virtues and defects. People who do not accept themselves sabotage their relationships and professional achievements because they believe that they do not deserve love or success. However, when we accept ourselves we manage to reconcile with ourselves and also reconcile with the mistakes of the past. Acceptance is key to reinforce self-esteem Obviously, acceptance does not mean that we are not willing to improve, but rather that we understand our limits and, even so, we are happy because we focus on our achievements and strengths.
Take responsibility: It means that we understand and accept that we are responsible for our behaviors and decisions, as well as our desires, values ​​and beliefs; which also implies that we are responsible for our happiness. This attitude allows us to stop blaming others, take control of life and finally focus on achieving our goals. However, this does not imply that we are responsible for everything that happens, we are also aware that there are situations that are beyond our control. Thus, in order to increase self-esteem, it is vital to be able to limit what we can control with our actions and those actions that do not depend on us.
Self-affirmation: It involves respecting our needs, values ​​and dreams, looking for behavioral alternatives that are consistent with what we think, feel and desire. It means that we treat ourselves with respect and that we show ourselves as we are because we do not feel the need to change just to please others for fear of their rejection.
Live consciously: It means facing life assuming a proactive attitude; it means not limiting yourself to solving problems, but going out to meet them. It’s about accepting mistakes, correcting them and learning from them. Living consciously involves being reflective and knowing ourselves deeply, knowing why we make some decisions instead of others. It means recognizing our weaknesses, but also our values.
Live with purpose: We understand that our happiness and decisions are not at the mercy of chance or other people but depend on ourselves. It also implies being able to identify and put into practice all the essential actions to take the reins of our destiny. Living with purpose is using our abilities to achieve something that truly excites and satisfies us.
Personal integrity: It is the integration of beliefs, values ​​and ideals with our way of acting. It involves behaving according to what we believe, being consistent with our ideas and way of seeing the world. When we do not follow our convictions and contradict ourselves, we fall apart and our self-esteem ends up breaking.
Be positive: One of the vital steps to love yourself and improve self-esteem is to try to leave behind the negative thoughts that are so recurrent in people who have this attitude. So much so that in many cases knowing how to improve self-esteem is linked to changing this negative mentality.
Reflect on your achievements: To raise self-esteem It is vital to know what our achievements and successes are in life and to turn to them when we are at our worst. These types of thoughts can help you leave behind those moments when negativity fills your mind.
Have a good presence: Dressing well, staying upright, and exercising are vital to work on self-esteem You can’t improve your self-esteem without improving yourself inside and out. Therefore, the physique, like diet, plays a fundamental role in self-esteem.
Practice generosity: Being generous is a natural way to reduce stress in addition to establishing a bond with others. Furthermore, people who practice generosity daily can increase self-esteem through the feeling of gratitude that is experienced with it.
Full attention: According to different research, mindfulness has important benefits for both your physical and psychological well-being. Mindfulness is an essential way to improve self-esteem since the present is enjoyed more and both the past and the future are left aside.
Clarify your goals: On many occasions, people who have a low self-esteem They tend not to have clear goals. So much so that to recover self-esteem one of the vital points is to try to set small goals and complete them in the best possible way.
“Happiness doesn’t just happen to us. It’s something we make happen and it comes from doing our best.”
–Mihali Csikszentmihalyi
Exercises to improve self-esteem
In addition to all these points, there are also some more specific activities to improve self-esteem. So much so that these will be very useful for raise self-esteem in a woman or a man.
Write about who you are: The fundamental part to be able improve self-esteem is to know you better. In this way, to raise self-esteem it is vital to try to establish what you are and what you are not. Making a list of your strengths, weaknesses, and positive and negative thoughts about yourself can be a good way to visualize your self-knowledge.
List 10 good things about yourself: After creating that list full of everything you know about yourself, to improve the self-esteem You can collect ten good things about yourself. You can also practice this in your daily life by looking for three good things that you have done during the day.
Find 3 occasions where you have overcome adversity: The moments where we demonstrate our courage and bravery are moments where we have shown all the strength we have within us. In this way, writing them down will be a good method to keep in mind that we can handle all adversities.
Remember 5 people who have helped you: For each of the people you have written, you must detail how they helped you and think about what they see in you to be by your side. Write them down for each one of them.
Remember 5 people you have helped: Think about five people you have helped and how they benefited from your help. From this point, you must see the value you gave to these people and remember it every time you think of something negative about yourself.
A dynamics is an exercise What you can do regularly to improve your self-esteem and put aside the insecurities inherent to the lack of it. We recommend the following self-esteem dynamics:
Mirror technique: Normally, we use the mirror only to reflect ourselves in it with practical intentions. But one way to raise our self-esteem involves relating to this object and our reflection in a completely different way. This self-esteem dynamics It involves smiling when we see ourselves in the mirror, as well as telling ourselves positive phrases and self-affirmations while we look into our eyes.
Letter to the past: Sometimes the insecurities and self-sabotage Self-esteem itself comes precisely from some bad experiences that we have experienced in our past. Through this letter addressed to our past selves we must thank ourselves for everything we have gone through to be who we are today.
Dedicate time to yourself as part of your routine: Leaving space to dedicate to ourselves is also one of the best exercises to improve our self-esteem What can we know? In this way, each day dedicate a space to work on your interior.
List your virtues: To upload your low selfsteem It is important to keep your personal virtues in mind at all times. In this way, write down your virtues as if it were a ranking. Make this ranking as if it were someone outside trying to describe you, but focusing especially on the things you are really good at as well as those you could achieve with effort.
If all these tips are developed consciously and regularly, it is very likely that you will be able to improve your self-esteem Despite this, in many cases self-esteem can be damaged by trauma or psychological conditions, in these cases it may be vital to consult with a professional psychologist.
