In today’s article I will talk to you about how to make an assertive and effective criticism. One of the best tools we have to ask for a change in behavior.
In today’s article I will talk to you about how to do an assertive and effective criticism One of the best tools we have to request a behavior change
Criticism has to go to specific behavior Better to say “I don’t like that you’re late” than “you’re late.” The second is easy to take as an insult. And you also specify exactly what the other person has to change
It is also recommended to add a couple of Positive comments before criticism, also specific to reward what I do well and help the other person feel effective and motivated to continue improving. These can have a pleasant tone, so that the other person feels effective.
No tone of mockery or superiority Better a neutral one, so that the other person does not feel attacked and become defensive. Additionally, controlling your tone will help you be more objective and less visceral. If the other person perceives them as an aversive tone, it is more than likely that they will avoid them or not take them into account in the future.
Sometimes criticism is not enough to help the person change something. You can try other strategies: lead by example or teach little by little, to give some examples.
It is necessary adapt criticism to the level it can reach, at the level of proximal development. It is usually a good idea to go little by little, highlighting the small goals already achieved, which can be enormous for the person and encouraging them to achieve new goals little by little. Otherwise, the other person can easily feel overwhelmed.
It better be proactive that is, not only pointing out the behavior that is wrong, but also how it could be done correctly or better.
To finish, here is an example of a criticism made in a harmful way and another good:
Example of bad review:
“You can’t be more stupid with people.”
Example of good criticism:
MI have noticed that you are very good at talking about various topics, but sometimes you bring up topics like politics or religion that make people tense. Why don’t you try talking about more neutral topics?
