5 Tricks So That Negative Comments Do Not Bother You So Much
Those of us who live in most Western countries live in an environment in which two circumstances occur that, combined, can cause our self-esteem to be damaged relatively frequently.
On the one hand, we are immersed in an individualistic culture, in which great importance is given to the ego and we are told over and over again that we must be “our best selves.”
On the other hand, it is quite normal for people to criticize others not to help them or provide another constructive point of view, but to undermine their prestige or their public image, causing their “value” to decrease and oneself to be able to climb socially at the expense of others. of the attacked person, by generating an illusion of triumph in front of them.
So, in this article we will review a series of tricks to Do not let the negative comments directed at you by others affect you and bother you a lot
5 tips and tricks to not suffer so much from negative comments
Even those with stable self-esteem can feel how their day is ruined by hearing certain criticisms or malicious comments that we feel “hit the nail on the head” or exploit our insecurities.
To a certain extent, it is normal for us to experience that when experiencing these types of situations, and of course, we should not try to completely block the emotional impact that these attacks have on us, because that would only lead us to frustration. But as always happens in psychology, just because we cannot control the behavior of others does not mean that we have no room for maneuver when deciding the attitude we show towards those actions. These types of reproaches and poisonous comments will hurt us, but they do not have to destroy our self-esteem and generate intrusive thoughts in us that last several hours.
So… How to deal with negative comments? These tips can be useful guidelines to help you deal with these kinds of problems.
1. Write a diary of emotions
Being in touch with your feelings and emotions is a way to maintain a more stable self-esteem. And several investigations carried out on what is known in psychology as emotional labeling show that Putting into words what makes us feel anguish or insecurity helps us overcome it, not to let us give it more importance than it really has. Therefore, writing daily about the most significant moments of the previous hours in terms of how you have felt is a very good way to look after your mental health. Of course, don’t get used to writing a lot each time or you will end up stopping due to lack of time.
2. Do a SWOT periodically
In addition to the previous advice, carry out a brief SWOT analysis (focused on you and your way of behaving) with a certain periodicity, such as once a month, too. It will help you be aware of your limitations and stop seeing them as something that preys on your complexes Additionally, it will allow you to be able to see opportunities in how to compensate or remedy them to the extent possible.
On the other hand, this strategy will also help you to be aware at all times which imperfections and failures are truly important to you and which ones actually cause you indifference. And the “impact” produced on us by the moment someone criticizes us can mean that if we have our guard down and without having reflected on it, we assume that what that person is making fun of or criticizing is something that reveals very negative things about us, when in reality many times we don’t even care.
3. Always analyze the intention behind those comments
Typically, negative comments say more about the person making them than about the recipient of that criticism. Therefore, take into account that aspect of the criticism and attacks you receive allows you to contextualize the message and give it relative importance: is not a piece of information conceived and expressed in an objective and neutral manner.
4. Aim to find at least one piece of useful information in each comment
Focusing on this small mission will allow you to focus on the moment and Don’t limit yourself to experiencing the unpleasant emotions that those kinds of experiences generate For example, if you believe that there is a grain of truth in that criticism, staying with that information will intuitively direct your attention to how you can use it in the future to improve, which is a much more constructive mindset.
5. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you
This, in addition to being a basic principle of mental health in general, will allow you to be in contact with more benign and positive versions of criticism that can come to you from others, which greatly cushions the blow caused by a possible negative comment formulated in the form of unfair criticism.
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If you are looking for psychotherapy services, I invite you to contact me.
My name is Javier Ares and I put at your disposal my experience as a psychologist specialized in mood, anxiety and relationship problems. Sessions can be in person or online.
