Toxic Relationships: 12 Clear Signs Of A Toxic Partner
Do you think you are not happy with your relationship? There are some clear attitudes that reveal a toxic relationship. Discover how to identify them so that your bond does not harm you.
There are some attitudes that we often overlook and that can be considered typical of the toxic relationships Although many of us think that the bond with our better half is almost perfect, the reality is that we can have certain attitudes typical of a toxic couple.
A toxic relationship It can appear in a couple, in a family, at work or in a friendship. When we talk about something becoming toxic, we are referring to something that is harmful to us emotionally and that affects our self-esteem.
Every couple has a series of expectations and needs, both individual and common, that change as time passes and the relationship progresses. But in toxic relationships, one of the people takes these expectations to the extreme. So much so that in one toxic relationship one of the parties tries to cling to an ideal that can never exist.
How do you know if your relationship is toxic? Toxic relationship test
To find out if a relationship is toxic, there is a practical exercise you can do. For a whole week, analyze, importantly, with paper and pen, each of your relationships, in all areas of your life (family, partner, friends, work, hobbies…). To perform this toxic relationship test you must ask yourself the following:
How do I feel now, if I think about that relationship or person?
How do I feel after being with that person?
Is there manipulation by anyone, including me? (To answer this question it is necessary to work on honesty with oneself.)
Is there emotional dependence within the couple?
Is there a lack of limits?
Do disrespect occur? What is the underlying communication like?
Is anxiety usually part of this relationship?
To what extent does this relationship hurt me? (Again, honesty with yourself is of utmost importance).
To detect a toxic relationship It is vital to detect both our own behavior and that of our partner. In most cases, toxic relationships have certain patterns that can involve jealous, possessive, dominant or even domineering attitudes.
Signs of toxic relationships
There are some signs with which we can identify the toxic relationships Although some of these may occur occasionally in all types of couples, the problem arises when these attitudes end up becoming part of your routine.
Controls you: One of the first signs that we are in a toxic relationship It is when our partner wants to have absolute control of everything we do. In these cases you should try to stop these attitudes from the beginning, since you do not have to explain your life to anyone.
He makes bad jokes: On many occasions in toxic relationships one of the parties makes hurtful comments that are later passed off as jokes. So much so that when you are offended or feel bad about it, a toxic partner will always highlight how sensitive you are to their attitude.
Criticize your loved ones: The criticisms are typical of the toxic relationships But in this case they can not only be directed at you, but also at your entire closest circle. In this case, both a toxic boyfriend and girlfriend want to try to isolate you from your surroundings so that you can only be with them.
It’s always the victim: In the toxic relationships There is always the same victim. Therefore, whenever you are talking about bad situations about yourself or others, the toxic person will become the protagonist even though they have no relation to what happened.
Ask for forgiveness without remorse: In the toxic couples Even though forgiveness is asked, there is never remorse behind these words. So much so that on many occasions, discussions are resumed even though the other person has asked for forgiveness for their attitude.
They don’t make an effort: In every relationship there must be an effort to share and give to others. These types of attitudes must arise from oneself towards the other person as an act of love. In this way in the toxic people These types of acts never happen in a couple once the relationship is already advanced in time.
They are always right and know everything: In a toxic relationship You cannot argue or contrast points of view since one is always right in everything. So much so that on any occasion they tell you to do things the way they do or that you should listen to them since they have absolute knowledge.
Hold a grudge: Resentment and reproaches are a clear sign to know when a relationship has no future. It is also one of the most common characteristics of a toxic relationship. When a person ‘holds back attacks’ and then throws them in your face at an opportune moment, this is synonymous with toxic relationships
He is a narcissistic person: When the other person always wants to be the center of attention, or always seeks to be admired by others, it is a clear sign that you are with someone who is narcissistic. On many occasions, relationships that do not progress are because one of the two shows a clear inability to demonstrate empathy for the other.
Constant passionate discussions: In a relationship it is vital to discuss different points of view, but always with respect and tranquility. When arguing with others results in shouting or insulting others, this can indicate that you are in a situation. toxic relationship
Jealousy: Jealousy is usually translated as the fear we have of losing our partner. But momentary jealousy is one thing, when it does not harm the relationship, and another when it becomes obsessive and pathological. When a person keeps suspecting your attitude without having any justification for it, this is a clear sign that it is a toxic relationship
Anger with silence: This technique is very common in passive-aggressive people. Those who, when something has bothered them, instead of talking about it directly and expressing what they feel, tend to stop communicating with you and act as if they had not read or heard anything you tell them. When this attitude appears in your bond, perhaps you are a toxic relationship
If you think you are in a toxic relationship, it is vital that you stop this situation as soon as possible. To do this, it is essential to talk things over with your partner and consult with a professional psychologist.
How do I know if I am the cause of the toxic relationship?
Sometimes we don’t realize that we are the ones who encourage our relationship is toxic On these occasions it is more difficult to detect that we are a toxic person. Analyzing our attitude is also the key to solving our bad situation in the relationship. In most cases, people who foster toxic relationships have this attitude:
You use affection as currency: The toxic couples They tend to condition the affection or affection they give to others with favors or actions that they want to happen. That is, they use love for each other as a bargaining chip to get what they really want.
You are passive aggressive: A toxic person usually has a passive aggressive attitude. So much so that these people encourage toxic relationships since they act angry but without saying why they are that way. When this happens, the lover ends up feeling a lack of trust towards the other.
You play with your partner’s feelings: In the toxic couple relationships One of the most common attitudes is manipulation. Maybe you keep trying to test the other person’s feelings or manipulate them to get what you really want. When you constantly feel the need to test the other, this means that you are the cause of your relationship being toxic. In these cases, it is very likely that you are a toxic person.
You emotionally abuse your partner: Emotional blackmail is a clear sign that we are the cause of a toxic couple So much so that to see it we only have to look at the occasions when we use unpleasant and cruel language or when we intentionally belittle the other part of our relationship.
You spy on your partner on their social networks: Many people want to know everything the other person posts on social media, who they talk to, or what they send out of fear that it could harm them. For a couple to have a healthy relationship, the other person’s privacy must be respected and trusted. If you need to review what she does, it is recommended that you work on your self-esteem.
If you identify with one of these attitudes, it is essential that you analyze what is leading you to foster a toxic behavior in your relationship On many occasions you may be going through a time when your self-esteem or mental health is not quite right. Perhaps it is time for you to go to a specialist to solve these problems.
Love vs Toxic Relationship
On the other hand, there are some attitudes with which you can gauge whether your relationship brings benefits to your life. When there is no toxic behavior in the couple, the following events occur:
There is a freedom: When we talk about love, we talk about how every day you choose the person who is by your side. You are free every day to stay or go. You have complete freedom of choice. This attitude is completely the opposite of when someone exercises absolute control over a toxic relationship
There is no suffering: If we behave with love, the general tone in the couple cannot be suffering, arguments, insults… Therefore, the discussions in a non-toxic relationship are calm, with tranquility and serenity.
There is a positive evolution: If we talk about love, we talk about adding, not subtracting as people. The person I have by my side helps me be a better person, not a worse one. It helps me grow.
We don’t need anyone to be happy: If we talk about love, we don’t talk about giving him the key to my happiness. I must be happy to be able to be in a relationship. Happiness is exclusive, it is not in the hands of the other.
There is a joint project: If we talk about love, we talk about life projects together, we talk about having a vision in the same direction.
It is not always the priority: If we talk about love, we talk about how I never stop doing activities that make me feel good just by being with the other person.
You know why you want to be with your partner: If we talk about love, it is not possible for you to tell me a list of things that you don’t like about the other person, and when I ask you why you continue with the relationship, tell me that you love him.
You have self-love: If we talk about love, we must talk about self-love. If you identify, it is not love, it is emotional dependence.
It is clear that each Relationship It’s a world and each person decides how they want to cope with it. However, we constantly encounter a series of customs or habits accepted in our society as if they were normal but in reality they are not.
Society has not accepted it just because, but we have been working on it for a long time through films or television series. In fact, in most romantic films they show us how a toxic couple, in order to be happy, must go through a situation of jealousy, arguments and even infidelities. This certainly does not reflect the true love
