Toxic Friendships: 10 Signs In A Friendship That Should Alarm You

Have you ever felt that a friend seems like a rival to you? Do you feel that although he shows joy for your successes, that joy is not real and he is actually jealous; whereas when you fail at something, even though he apparently supports you, he seems to enjoy your failure? In these cases, you may be in a toxic friendship

What are toxic friendships like?

Toxic friendships can also be called ‘frenemies’. This term refers to the conjugation of the words “friend” and “enemy”, since it is a toxic friendship since this person is friend and enemy at the same time.

The term was first coined by the journalist Walter Winche l referring to those friends who actually wish for your failure, that is, people who are envious of your successes and happy about your mistakes. In the face of others, they will not hesitate to turn you green, but they will always support you and value you as you are. They show this double sided that when you discover, it gives you a great emotional pain but nevertheless, you do not separate yourself from him/her.

Signs of a toxic friendship relationship

There are a series of signs that can reveal that you are facing a toxic friendship relationship Among the most common:

1. They are dramatic: The toxic friends They are always surrounded by drama, that is, negative stories about their lives. In fact, their conversations are always around these dramatic situations.
2. Everything is related to them: A toxic friend or a toxic friend They are always waiting for their turn to speak or chat about something that is related to them. That is to say, one of the signs of a toxic friendship is that in any conversation they always end up being the protagonists.
3. They constantly put you down: When a person hurts you through their actions or words this is a toxic friend sign
4. They compete with you: The toxic friendships They tend to compete with you for everything. Whether it’s your profession, a romantic partner, or any skill you want to share with others, these people will try to make themselves look better than you.
5. They copy your attitudes: When the competition goes one step further, a toxic friendship can start to imitate you. In this way, they can acquire attitudes or behaviors that they have never demonstrated but that you do have.
6. They cross your limits: One of the signs of toxic friendship It’s that they often cross your boundaries, that is, they do incredibly inappropriate things. In these cases, they won’t listen to you even if you tell them you don’t like it. On the contrary, if you confess that something bothers you, they may do it more. On the other hand, they will make you feel bad or crazy even if you mention it to them.
7. They are jealous of other friends: People who have a toxic behavior They tend to be very jealous of the other friends they have. In fact, they may begin to blame or criticize them simply to distance themselves from them.
8. They are hypocrites: It is possible that the toxic friends They criticize a way of dressing, an attitude or a few words at some point. This can be healthy if said the right way, but in these cases, it can be hypocritical since you may see them behaving or doing the same thing for you.
9. They lie to gain your sympathy: The toxic friendships They may lie to gain your sympathy and make you believe that they are actually acting to benefit you.
10. You feel that something is not right: Even though you believe in your friendship, there are discomforts every time you meet this person. In fact, you feel that something is not right in your relationship, even though everything seems to be fine. This may be a sign that a friendship is toxic

If you think you can be in a toxic friendship relationship, it is important that you try to save your mental health. These types of ties can harm you in many ways, harming you psychologically. If you feel this way, it is important that you go to a mental health professional.

What is it that prevents us from walking away from a toxic friendship relationship?

It seems evident that if a friend is actually our enemy, we would have to avoid meeting him/her and stay as far away as possible. However, we generally don’t do that, why?

1. Toxic friends have a great ability to be friendly and accommodating They are people who have the gift of words, they know how to make you feel good, so that even if you perceive a certain negativity, you come to think that you are the one who is wrong by thinking badly of your friend.
2. They are big emotional manipulators They are continually having small details with you. He/she remembers you, tells you how important you are to him/her, gives you things, but at the same time asks you for things in return or you feel a moral obligation to compensate your loved one’s efforts. toxic friend or toxic friend so you end up trying to please him without him asking you directly.

But not everything is the fault of the frenemies, whether you stay away also depends on certain aspects of yourself, such as:

1. Low self-esteem: If you are an insecure person, you don’t trust yourself and you feel unimportant to others, you will think that this is the friendship you can aspire to. Surely you will be governed by the phrase “whoever loves you will make you suffer” and therefore, you will not try to get away from your enemies because you think that that is the most you can achieve or that you do not deserve a pure friendship.
2. Emotional dependence: Maybe you are one of those people who finds it difficult to let go of those who hurt you. You think that if you go away from your friends you will end up being alone and that it is good to have many “friends”, so you do not pay attention to the quality of these relationships.
3. Lack of support or social network: Maybe you have few friends and you can’t afford to be without your frenemy. At least you have someone to meet and have a good time with (apparently) since they usually generate a bittersweet feeling and when you get home after meeting one of them you feel bad, you don’t really know why.
4. Deficiencies in childhood: If you have suffered abuse (physical or psychological) in your childhood or your parents simply were not there on an emotional level even though they were covering your basic needs, you have not learned what it is to love and be emotionally attached to other people and you may think that That is friendship, so you will never get away from your enemies unless you work on that concept of friendship.

What causes someone to have a toxic friendship?

The toxic friendships They are people who apparently have great self-esteem and who value themselves positively. But in reality they are tremendously insecure people who play a trick: if you make the person in front of you believe that they cannot, that they are useless or that they are not capable of something, immediately afterwards you will feel above the other person and your self-esteem will improve. That’s what people with a tendency toward a narcissistic personality do. Furthermore, they are very competitive people. They have to always feel like oil, so they will always strive to achieve better achievements than yours. If you sign up for a course, he/she will sign up for a master’s degree, if you go to live in an apartment, he/she will go to a larger or brighter apartment. The feeling that comes from him is that he is following your steps but always surpassing you.

What can you do if you have toxic friendships?

The first thing is to be aware that you are facing a toxic friendship relationship It is the first step to stop having them in your life. Once this step has been taken, the next step is to detect what is causing you to not be able to get rid of him/her and address that difficulty. Are you emotionally dependent, do you have low self-esteem, etc.? Work on those problems so you can have quality friends. As always, if you see that you cannot do it yourself, consult a psychology professional. The psychologists We can help you discover the causes and work on them so you can take the step.