Do You Have A Trauma? 7 Childhood Wounds That Remain When We Are Adults
The traumas that we generate when we are children become a backpack that remains by our side throughout our lives if we do not remedy them. Find out how to identify them.
During our lives, events occur that can happen to people close to us as well as ourselves and that can lead to trauma. These psychological traumas They happen because we have felt overwhelmed or we simply do not know how to face an experience that no one has taught us to manage. The lack of tools to know how to overcome them, calm down and resolve it will end up having a series of consequences in our lives as the years go by.
When we refer to a trauma, we are talking about a response to an event in which a person is in a very stressful state. In this way, being in shock during these moments can lead to a series of physical and emotional damage that lasts for a long period of time.
People can experience the traumas in response to any type of events they experience during life. The one condition that causes people to enter a state of emotional shock that results in a traumatic event is that the individual perceives it as physically or emotionally threatening or harmful. In all cases of psychological trauma, people generate certain consequences that harm them in their daily lives. Even so, when these symptoms last over time and get worse, this affectation can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder.
Types of psychological trauma
There are different types of psychological trauma that people can experience. According to psychologists we find the following.
Acute trauma: This is the result of a single stressful or dangerous event, that is, the emotional shock It has only occurred on one occasion.
Chronic trauma: It is the result of repeated and prolonged exposure to very stressful events. In this way, the emotional damage extends over time.
Complex trauma: It is the result of exposure to multiple events that generate traumas
In addition to these types of emotional trauma, people can also experience vicarious trauma when contacting someone who has experienced a traumatic event
Psychological trauma and its symptoms
When people experience a psychological trauma They usually present the following symptoms sustained over time.
Denial: One of the first symptoms of an individual traumatized It is the denial of the facts. Wanting to forget what happened or deny it.
Fear: Someone traumatized He is usually very afraid of those situations that remind him of his traumas. For this reason he is able to avoid everything that reminds him of the traumatic event he suffered.
Anxiety: Anxiety can also be a symptom of emotional trauma In many cases, to solve this anxiety you must act on the psychological trauma.
Depression: Being in shock at a traumatic situation and having consequences later can lead to depression for the affected person.
Irritability: Anger is another symptoms of psychological trauma Sometimes a traumatized person can respond with great anger to an event that should not cause that response.
Difficult to focus: Sometimes a traumatic event It is synonymous with having great difficulty concentrating.
Physical symptoms: Such as fatigue, headaches, digestive symptoms and other effects similar to those felt by stress.
These are some of the signs that may indicate that a individual is traumatized If you think this identifies you, you can consult with a professional psychologist.
How do you know if you have a trauma?
A traumatic or emotional shock It can overwhelm mental capacity because of the difficulty we experience integrating that event into our memory. For this same reason, people who have suffered psychological trauma can identify it through the following signs:
You feel overwhelmed: Feeling that you lack some control over your life can be a sign of being affected by a psychological trauma People who are overwhelmed due to emotional trauma may not feel able to talk to others about this experience and may even feel helpless over the memories of this event.
You have flashbacks: If from time to time you feel invaded by certain memories of an experience that was not pleasant, it is possible that you are facing a psychological trauma Especially if these images prevent you from carrying out certain daily tasks or limit your daily life.
You disconnect often: Feeling numb or having ‘flat’ emotions can also be one of the ways your body is signaling emotional trauma to you. Furthermore, people with psychological traumas They often have difficulty staying present with others, thus making them feel disconnected in some situations.
Overreacts: Getting startled easily can also be one of the typical attitudes of people who have experienced trauma. In fact, before a trauma Our body can be in constant tension, something that may be related to this type of disruptive behavior.
You feel ashamed: Often, people who have suffered from psychological traumas They may feel ashamed of these painful memories. In fact, they often have a tendency to blame themselves for having suffered this traumatic event.
These five signs can help you identify if you are really suffering from a psychological trauma Denying that you are facing a traumatic memory will only make your condition worse and procrastinate the solution to it.
Why do we have more childhood trauma?
We learn to manage our emotions, to overcome the obstacles that cross our path, to deal with those events that are controversial for us thanks to the learning we receive when we are children. What we show or explain to our children will be what they will absorb and understand to face their lives. This is how education works, and it is at the youngest stage when children absorb the greatest amount of information in the form of learning. We do not need to explain it in words, our actions, emotions or actions will be the ones that will be most present, since we are their main reference.
The reality is that there is no single way to educate, to teach how to feel and treat. our emotions Each person is different, and therefore we must make them understand that feeling is okay, but whenever what they feel is something negative for them, they have to work to solve it and not let it go.
Much research indicates that children are especially more vulnerable to a traumatic event or experience because their brains are still developing. For this same reason, children may experience a greater state of stress during situations in which an adult would not respond in the same way. The childhood trauma They can persist into adulthood. In fact, many of our psychological traumas come from childhood.
Major childhood traumas
The path that each child decides to take as they grow older will be their own thing. Our support will be essential, as well as our love. The truth is that some of the childhood trauma most common come from the family:
Fear of abandonment: People who have spent a lot of time alone during their childhood, because for whatever reason their parents or caregivers have not been able to spend a lot of time with them, tend to be people who are more insecure about themselves. The habit of spending so much time alone may be perceived as something normal for them, but unconsciously they become emotionally dependent because they are afraid of being alone.
Domestic violence: Violence is not the solution to a problem and neither are angry outbursts. Learning that talking solves things is very important, since a simple cake or slap on the buttocks is no longer beneficial for our children.
Rejection: Many parents unconsciously transmit rejection to their children, and although many try not to let it be seen, the children realize it. It may not be the time to have another child or one who is too similar to one of the parents… The reality is that rejection causes a emotional damage very big, where allowing yourself to believe in yourself will be difficult for the child because he/she will always have felt undervalued.
Injustices: Trusting others is one of the values that we must transmit to our children, providing equal treatment with their siblings or other people. From a very young age they will have the ability to understand whether a situation is fair or unfair and from there they will build their relationships over the years. If they are treated unfairly they can become very insecure.
Promises: Promises like “If you approve everything I will buy you this doll” either “Tomorrow we will go skating together”, when they are not fulfilled because they are forgotten or simply because they are not given enough value, they can create emotional traumas. Maybe for the person who says them it is not a big deal, but for the other party it means an emotion about something that the child wants and that by not doing it causes distrust.
Humiliation: More and more children are bullied at school or grow up in environments subject to constant ridicule and disqualification of their actions. Situations like this will generate low self-esteem and even depression in adulthood.
Fear: The fear of what is unknown or of simple changes can generate a lot of anxiety. Patience and understanding will be very important, since it is not about exposing the child to face his/her fear of the dark right away, but rather doing it little by little until he/she understands that this fear is not for so much.
Why if you suffer from trauma, therapy is essential?
The experience of having suffered a trauma It can profoundly affect our psychological, social, physical, occupational and financial functioning. For this reason, going to therapy is essential to be able to live a full life without the effects of trauma. Mainly, psychologists usually treat trauma through the following therapies:
Long exposure: This is a form of therapy that consists of exposing people to the source of their fear, gradually and with the necessary tools, until they can face it.
Cognitive processing therapy: This therapy involves questioning the perspective of why the traumatic event occurred, as well as the thoughts and beliefs that have developed since then.
Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy: It focuses on addressing beliefs drawn due to emotional trauma as well as unhealthy behavioral patterns.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): This treatment involves the use of bilateral stimulation to help people release emotions that have been blocked due to psychological trauma.
How to overcome a trauma?
If you think that the traumas are affecting your life, it is essential that you work on them to alleviate all the consequences that they may have. To do this, you can follow these tips.
Take care of yourself inside and out: When someone suffers from a trauma It is often neglected. Therefore, it is important to try to maintain a healthy lifestyle: exercise regularly and follow a good diet. This can help you overcome the stress or anxiety you suffer due to your emotional traumas.
Practice mindfulness: Meditation or trying to be in the present is a good method to know how to overcome trauma Thanks to this you will be able to put aside the negative thoughts that come to your mind and focus on enjoying the here and now.
Get out of your comfort zone: When people have suffered a traumatic event, they usually try not to face the fear of being in new situations that may remind them of that experience. The key to overcoming trauma is to try to face these moments little by little and leave the comfort zone where we feel safe.
Reduce sources of stress: To combat your emotional trauma It is important to try to keep our sources of stress at bay. The reason is that if we are very stressed it is very likely that we will have more memories of the state of shock we suffered. Therefore, you should try to balance what causes you the most stress.
Acknowledge your feelings: Even though it hurts you to do so, it is important to recognize the reason for your psychological trauma and try to find out the source that generated the traumatic event. This way you will know what to work on to reduce this emotional damage.
A traumatic experience It can harm us in different aspects of our lives. For this reason, going to a psychologist and working on it is crucial to overcome this pain. Allow yourself to get out of this traumatic state.
