Self-demand: Why Is It Bad To Demand Too Much Of Yourself?
Are you a self-demanding person? Do you know what the dark side of self-demand is? Discover how to get the positive side of self-demand through these psychological tips.
On most occasions, to achieve our goals we will have to say goodbye to self-demand. We think that be demanding It will lead us to act better and be more productive. Demanding ourselves leads us, in one way or another, to move to achieve our goal. But not everything is black or white since self-demand can also lead us to failure when it is too intense.
The self-demand It makes us pressure ourselves to the point of not being satisfied with anything we have achieved. This prevents us from feeling good about those small successes and, in the long term, we fall apart. Furthermore, self-demand leads us to be more impatient and have very high expectations. When the results we expect and desire do not arrive, we will most likely become discouraged and demotivated. At that point, we are more likely to give up and feel frustrated. In this way, abandoning self-demand can help us achieve our goals without becoming frustrated.
Signs that you are self-demanding
Being one of those excessively demanding people can cause many problems for your mental health. Therefore, it is essential to detect the first signs that your self-demand is too high.
Perfectionism
The vast majority of people with an overdemand They also suffer from the double face of perfectionism. By being so self-demanding, it is very likely that you will end up setting expectations that are too high or even unattainable. Having unrealistic goals ends up making you think that you are not good enough.
You don’t allow yourself to make mistakes
On many occasions the demanding people They end up denying themselves the possibility of not making mistakes. So much so that by pushing themselves too hard they end up procrastinating most tasks or goals due to fear of failure or error.
Self-critical
Surely if you are one Demanding person Self-criticism and phrases related to it are continuous in your daily life. So much so that the mind and this negative speech ends up disturbing almost all aspects of your life.
Set goals based on the expectations of others
There are many cases in which the overdemand It comes hand in hand with trying to please others. Being so self-demanding and also in aspects that may not motivate, this situation can lead to depression.
Try to please people
Self-demand is sometimes related to the importance we give to what people think or think about us. So much so that the self-demanding people They end up putting other people’s needs before their own.
Comparison
The overdemand It may be due to excessive comparison with others. So much so that in many cases people who tend to push themselves too hard can suffer from low self-esteem.
take on too much
Taking on too many tasks can be one of the main signs that you are a Demanding person with yourself. Furthermore, this overdemand can end up leaving aside the breaks, relaxation and leisure necessary to enjoy life.
Constant need to achieve
People who tend to demand oneself Too often they tend to depend on each of their achievements or successes to feel valuable. In this way, they mistakenly relate merit to self-esteem.
Pushing yourself too hard can have various consequences on your emotional health. So much so that on many occasions people who suffer from a self-demand Too much can lead to psychological pathologies such as depression, anxiety and excess stress. In these cases it is vital to go to a mental health specialist.
How to stop being self-demanding?
The self-demand It has its positive and negative parts. The key to enjoying this virtue is precisely in balance. If you want to make the most of your self-demand, follow the following tips.
1. Set short goals
Normally we become obsessed with reaching the last step, and we see it so far away that it seems impossible. Frustration, demotivation and abandonment appear there. If we change our perspective and focus on the day to day, we will be more motivated and the path will be easier on a psychological level. In this way, you should take advantage of your self-demanding side to achieve the small goals you set for yourself every day.
2. Practice realism
Surely you are thinking about changing something that has been there for a long time or that has worked in a certain way throughout your life, it is logical that it will take you a while to reach your greatest goal. Don’t despair. Do everything you can on a daily basis and value your efforts even if it is not the ideal you have in mind.
3. Change your internal dialogue
That inner voice that pressures you and demands of you can greatly influence your mood and your process. Internal dialogue and thoughts greatly influence what self-demand whether positive or negative towards ourselves.
Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from your failures. Nobody is perfect and you are no exception. To stop your brain from ringing the self-criticism and his phrases constantly, it is vital to try to be more realistic about your abilities and accept your limits.
5. Don’t compare yourself
Comparing yourself to others will not only cause you to lose out on many occasions, but it is also an attitude that holds you back from your evolution. Stop relying on others to establish your worth.
6. Question your expectations
Rationalizing your idealism and your superhuman goals can be a first step to stop demanding so much of yourself. In this way, write down all your values, needs and goals and establish an action plan that respects both breaks and your virtues.
7. Let go of idealism
The overdemand It goes hand in hand with a too utopian idealism towards life. You will be much happier if, instead of setting completely unrealistic goals, you understand what your current situation is and how you can improve it through the tools you currently have.
8. Understand your emotional cycle
We all have good days and bad days. Push yourself Too much during times when we are down will not only be counterproductive but will also increase your frustration in many ways. On those days when you cannot meet all your expectations (which must be realistic), take the opportunity to rest and regain your energy.
9. Don’t value yourself in your achievements
Putting your value in what you achieve can cause you to end up with a low self-perception of yourself. By working on your self-esteem it will make you leave behind so much self-demand and focus on what you can really enjoy without leaving behind the achievements you really want in your life.
To end the overdemand It is vital to fight your inner critic. To do this, it will be essential to try to change negative thoughts for others that are more productive for you.
11. Accept yourself as you are
Personal acceptance is vital to overcome the negative part of a person who is too self-demanding With Herself. Accept your flaws without forgetting your virtues and love yourself as you are today.
People who are demanding of themselves can go very far if they know how to work with this trait of their personality. The fundamental thing to enjoy the self-demand It is finding a balance that respects reality and the goals we have in mind.
