Throughout our lives we will need help from others on more than one occasion. Although it is difficult for us to admit it, we are not perfect and we need other people to help us with a multitude of tasks.
On other occasions what can happen is that an unforeseen event has simply arisen and, as a result, we need someone to do us a last-minute favor.
Whatever the favor to ask, the way in which it is done is almost as important as how urgent it may be. For this reason here Let’s address the topic of how to ask for favors seeing what factors can influence others to be predisposed to help us.
Even the most self-sufficient people need help at some point, since we are still imperfect and social animals. Taking advantage of this social component of human nature, on more than one occasion we find ourselves in the need to ask for favors, although that is not always easy. Whether out of hesitation, because we are embarrassed, or simply because we are afraid of being rejected, the truth is that asking something from another person is a somewhat complicated task.
Logically, Each favor implies a different difficulty that also influences when it is requested It is not the same as asking them to please buy us a can of sardines at the supermarket than to cover our afternoon hours at the office. Favors can be easier or more difficult to satisfy depending on how many resources the person from whom we ask the favor has to move, which is why it is also more or less likely that they will satisfy us. Fortunately, there are a series of factors that can help us ensure that our requests are fulfilled.
Whether for convenience or because we feel uncomfortable doing it in person, many people prefer to ask for favors in writing, both by email and instant messaging. Emails are seen as perfect for asking favors from co-workers, while chats are used with closer people, such as family and friends.
Many resort to the text thinking that this modality will save us from having to look into the eyes of the person from whom we will ask the favor. In addition, the text helps us to be more persuasive, allowing us to prepare our speech well, making the text extensively written, exposing each of the reasons why we need them to do us the favor and the urgency of it.
Despite all this, the truth is that being present is the best way to ask for favors. In fact, Doing it in writing is a very bad option, and this was demonstrated by research carried out by Cornell University, in the United States. The study carried out by Roghanizad and Bohns (2017) concluded that looking into the eyes of the person from whom we ask a favor is 34 times more persuasive than doing it in writing. The best thing is to be present, or in other words, to ask for favors face to face.
2. Go bluntly
It is normal that, before asking someone for a favor, we greet them, chat cordially about the weather or some current topic and, once we have gotten into the mood a bit, we proceed to the compliments, the banter, said more colloquially. This is fine as long as we don’t go on too long.
As a general rule, when we are going to ask for a favor, the other person notices it She’s always going to think about “This guy wants something, I’m sure.” It is best to release the request as soon as possible, without being too abrupt but also not giving too many detours or cloyingly flattering. Generally, we are more likely to do favors for others if the person asking us to do it gets straight to the point.
Asking for favors face to face is so persuasive thanks to the help of non-verbal language. This type of language has a lot of influence when it comes to convincing someone to help us which is why we must take care of what expressions and movements we make in the presence of the person to whom we are going to make a request.
Some tips: clear eyes, relaxed movements, arms in an open position and never crossed. These gestures, in addition to looking into the eyes and smiling, invite the other party to be generous and help us. Added to this, it is appropriate to make the request in a quiet place where third parties will not interrupt us.
4. Choose the moment
It is very important to do the favor at the right time. Everyone has times of the day when they are in a better mood and others when they are not so much, such as after work or just when they have received bad news. This has a lot of influence when it comes to doing a favor, probably having less successful if we ask the person to do it for us just when they are having a bad day
For this reason we must be patient and choose the most appropriate time to make the request, even if we are in a hurry to get what we need. As long as what we have to ask for is not something urgent, it can wait a few hours or days, since if we do it at the least appropriate time we are assured of a resounding “no”.
Although it is not advisable to go into too much detail about the reason for our request, it is It is highly advisable to state some reason since not doing so will sound like an imposition or something purely selfish The other person must understand that we really need it, that we are asking a favor because we cannot take care of ourselves but it is something important.
Here we talk about scientific evidence again, mentioning another experiment, in this case carried out by Harvard University. In their experiment, Langer and Chanowitz (1978) did a simple test. One of the researchers approached a colleague at the photocopier and asked him to please give him his turn. Sometimes he did it without giving any explanation while other times he did explain his reason.
In 60% of the cases in which he asked for the favor but without giving explanations, he was successful, using only the face-to-face factor, that is, asking for the favor face to face. On the other hand, the success rate rose to almost 90% when the researcher gave a reason to sneak in.
The surprising thing about it all was that the reason he gave was nothing too complex or a transcendental request, it was literally “Excuse me, can I sneak in?” “I just have to make some photocopies.” By simply giving a reason, even if obvious and absurd, the investigator managed to sneak in 9 out of 10 times This goes to show that whenever we ask for a favor we must accompany it with a justification, even if it is minimal.
