Lack Of Social Skills In Adults: Its Effects, And How To Address It
Many people in adulthood suffer from problems in their social skills whether to a greater or lesser extent.
We are going to try to explain the main consequences that this deficit can generate in these people, as well as some of the most common techniques that are used to achieve an improvement in these abilities and thus correct the repercussions they have on their daily lives.
In order to address the problem of the lack of social skills in adults, it is essential that we first know what exactly this concept refers to in order to know where its importance lies and the problem of suffering from a deficit in this area.
Social skills, or social competencies, refer to all those capabilities of an individual that enable and facilitate the ability to interact with their peers and communicate appropriately in different contexts, knowing how to use social rules In short, thanks to these skills, the person will be able to socialize with others in a correct and satisfactory way for both parties.
Simply by looking at this brief definition, we can get an idea of the consequences that a lack of social skills can have in adults, since their possibilities of interaction with other people would be diminished and therefore they would have difficulties in their way of communicating. with others, with the negative results that this would have on the subject.
If we ask ourselves what some of the social skills may be, we can see some concrete examples. Active listening would be one of the most common. Also the simple fact of knowing the appropriate way to start, maintain and end a conversation, according to social rules. Introducing oneself or others, asking questions or saying thank you for something would also be.
Some more complex ones, whose lack can also represent a lack of social skills in adults, would be ask for forgiveness, ask for a favor, try to persuade someone, give your opinion on an event, explain instructions for performing a certain task, express what you feel empathize with others, ask for permission, joke or complain.
These are just some examples. We can intuit, therefore, that the lack of social skills in adults can seriously limit a person’s possibilities for interaction, which can have serious repercussions on their daily life.
Causes of lack of social skills in adults
Authors like Gresham have tried to investigate the causes behind the lack of social skills in adults. In her 1998 study, she talks about possible origins of a very diverse nature. One of them would be the consumption of substances, such as alcohol, which could have a physical and psychological effect on the person.
Even said alcohol addiction could affect, not only the person themselves, but their children, in the case of pregnant women, potentially giving birth to children with a fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. In any case, The abuse of this substance represents one of the possible causes of a lack of social skills in adults
But this problem could also be generated by some psychopathology, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) People who suffer from it, especially during adolescence, may find themselves rejected by their peers. Likewise, people who suffer from autism spectrum disorder may also see their way of communicating and interacting with other individuals altered.
Other psychopathologies that can also represent an origin for the lack of social skills in adults are depression and generalized anxiety precisely because due to these ailments, these individuals may see the opportunities in which they can communicate with other subjects reduced, and when these occasions occur, they may not be in the appropriate conditions to interact correctly.
Consequences of social skills deficit in adulthood
We have already seen some of the possible causes of a lack of social skills in adults. Now we must talk about the consequences of this deficit. We are going to list some of the most important ones.
It is evident that if a person is deprived of their ability to socialize, it will have negative effects on them that will impact, among other things, their own self-esteem. Not being able to communicate adequately with others, even at very basic levels, can cause the subject to evaluate themselves negatively which can also create a vicious circle, making the possibilities of interaction even more difficult.
This would occur because the individual does not want to face again situations that have caused discomfort and poor self-perception. Therefore, one of the most important consequences that can occur due to a lack of social skills in adults are problems related to low self-esteem.
2. Anxiety and depression
We already saw that pathologies such as anxiety and depression can cause difficulties in social skills. But In addition to being a cause, they can also be a consequence of these And the conflicts and uncomfortable situations generated as a result of inappropriate interactions can forge a feeling of continued sadness in the individual, in addition to anxiety symptoms when thinking about past and future interactions.
Therefore, the lack of social skills in adults can lead to symptoms that could fit with depression and/or anxiety, which is another reason to give this issue the importance it deserves.
3. Inability to resolve conflicts
Going to more specific situations that can also be a consequence of this problem, we could find the example of the inability to resolve conflicts. Conflicts, to a greater or lesser extent, are a routine part of human interactions. Therefore, the lack of social skills in adults may mean that a person is not able to deal with these very common situations.
In that sense, A conflict, no matter how small, could lead to a scenario that would overwhelm the individual, making them feel incapable of facing it, much less resolving it In turn, this could cause stress for the person and even lead to the anxious-depressive symptoms that we saw in the previous point.
4. Rejection from others
Not all the consequences are generated in the person who has this social skills deficit. This situation can also have repercussions on the individuals around you who may prefer to avoid interactions with them knowing that they have problems behaving in a socially accepted manner.
This perception could be harmful to the subject’s self-esteem, as we have already seen, and lead to symptoms compatible with the anxiety or depression we were talking about.
How to overcome these problems?
Once the problem of the lack of social skills in adults has been analyzed, the question that must be asked is whether this situation can be solved in some way. As in almost all cases, when we talk about psychological disorders, it is essential to carry out a personalized evaluation of the case, task that will correspond to the professional psychologist in charge of it
However, in general terms, it can be stated that social skills can be improved, at least partially, thanks to different techniques and forms of cognitive-behavioral training.
1. Modeling technique
One of them would be modeling, by which a person who is assumed to be an expert in the use of social skills, shows the person who suffers from the deficit how they should behave in different social situations that arise on a daily basis In this way, with a clear model, you can compare it with your own way of acting and consciously modify your behavior.
2. Behavioral practices
But one’s own observation of others may not be enough to resolve the lack of social skills in adults. For this reason, another widely used technique is precisely practice. For it, The therapist can propose a series of interactions, starting with some very simple ones, in which the person has to behave in a certain way
These scenarios can be simulated, as in a role-playing game, or real, visiting places where these interactions can occur naturally, such as a store.
3. Desensitization
If one of the causes of the lack of social skills in adults is the anxiety that these situations cause in the person, it may be necessary to resort to techniques such as desensitization, to reduce the physiological activation that is generating in them.
