‘My Mother Makes Me Feel Bad’: How To Set Limits For Abusive Mothers?

The most important job of a mother is to show love to her children, for this reason, not having a good bond with her can cause a lot of pain in the people who suffer from it. Suspecting or questioning your mother’s love for you can be a difficult situation to handle. If you feel identified with expressions like ‘my mother makes me feel bad ‘ or you believe that you are facing a form of emotional abuse, there are a series of tips that you can follow to set the necessary limits for yourself.

What is the profile of a psychologically abusive mother?

There are a series of behaviors that we should not tolerate in any person, even if it is our mother. The following signs could indicate that you mother is psychologically abusing you:

• He constantly scolds you: Reviews are not always bad. Even so, these should always be done with love and never in bad faith. When a mother is emotionally abusive It can mean constant criticism for your children. If your mother tends to criticize you a lot, from more superficial issues such as your most important decisions, it may be that you have an emotionally abusive mother and that you should set certain limits for her.
• He doesn’t spend time with you: It is normal for people to have difficulty balancing work, physical activities, and relationships with others. When a mother cannot spend time with her children, it is normal for them to experience some pain. However, this does not have to imply that you are dealing with behavior typical of abusive mothers, but she may simply feel overwhelmed by all the responsibilities she must deal with. On the other hand, if your mother tends to be non-committal, this is an abusive attitude that we must deal with.
• ‘My mother beats me’: If your mother behaves badly towards you, that is, she is cold, abusive or simply cruel, this is ssign of emotional abuse Although the reasons for behaving this way can come from anything, it is important to set limits on this type of attitude.
• You’re scare of it: When a mother is emotionally abusive It is normal that children may feel fear or worry when they are with them. This is because if you frequently receive unpleasant words, there is poor communication with her, or her treatment of you is cruel, this can greatly affect the way you relate to her.
• manipulates you: A mother who is emotionally manipulative He is also exercising a form of abuse. Normally, in these cases, guilt is used to try to manipulate the children. In this way, they will make you feel bad for not doing what they want you to do.

Why does my mother psychologically abuse me?

There are many reasons why a mother can be abusive with their children. Although we can understand their bad situation, whether due to a stressor or psychological problems, it is vital that you do not tolerate this type of attitude towards you.

In many cases, the abusive mothers They may be facing a psychological disorder that affects their behavior or have too many responsibilities and/or stress due to their personal situation. Faced with this type of behavior, it is important that you learn that you are not to blame for their emotional abuse.

Whatever the reason you mother is abusive, it is vital that you work on freeing yourself from guilt as well as any negative thoughts that make you believe that you do not deserve love. In these cases, it is better that you choose to prioritize your mental health.

How to set limits for an abusive mother?

In these cases, be aware that your mother is abusive It can negatively affect your well-being. In fact, experiencing this pain can end up causing disorders such as depression and anxiety, so it is crucial that you protect your mental health. In this way, we recommend that you take the following tips to confront this toxic attitude:

1. Have a serious conversation with your mother: Although it may seem pointless, perhaps your mother is not realizing her abusive attitude towards you. For this reason, you may be able to get some changes in her attitude if you talk to her seriously. Through this wake-up call, your mother may understand that her words and behaviors are negative and that she must change them or work within herself to improve her treatment of you and herself.
2. Take distance: In the event that talking to your mother and communicating your pain does not produce any results or makes things worse, it is essential to take the necessary measures to maintain a distance between them. This distance will help you protect your mental well-being.
3. Ask for support: If your mother’s attitude is affecting you too much, it can help you to talk about it with friends and family.
4. Avoid falling into their negativity: It is normal that before the attitude of an abusive mother You also behave negatively with her. It is actually better not to have this negativity, as it will lead to more emotional abuse from your mother. It is better to act in a relaxed manner and remain calm in the face of these behaviors.
5. Don’t feel guilty: Faced with this form of emotional abuse, it is vital that you avoid feeling guilty due to your mother’s attitude. That your mother is unwell is not your fault, it is her own responsibility to work on her mental well-being.

Before a abusive mother Many people can end up living with consequences due to this bad relationship. For this reason, if you feel that it is affecting your way of life, it is important that you go to a professional psychologist. Don’t let anyone, even your mother, make you feel bad.