What do those people who say they belong to the incel community have in common? What can lead a person to fall into this problem? Below you will find the answers.
The term incel It has been known for just 4 years, since the first attack perpetrated by a young man who murdered several people and then committed suicide himself occurred in 2014. Before he died he left a website in which he explained all the frustrations and rudeness that he had suffered from the girls who had systematically rejected him. He carried out this massacre because, according to the boy, other people can have sexual relations with whoever they want and he cannot.
The term Incel means: involuntary (in) celibate (cel) Or what is the same: involuntary celibates They use this term because they are a heterosexual collective that can’t have sex with women either because of their personality or because of their physique and they blame them for that. They feel hate towards girls (whom they call Stacys) and towards men (called Chads) who are sexually attractive. They publish their hatred online, in forums and flaunt that anger through the feeling of belonging to a group going so far as to plan or even attack or kill people solely because they consider it unfair that others have sex while they do not.
Since that first mass murder occurred in 2014, others have followed. The most recent is in Toronto, in April 2018, where a young man carried out a multiple vehicle attack and killed 10 people, 8 of them women. He had previously left the comment on his social networks: “the Incel rebellion has begun.”
In summary, it can be said that incels are a community of spiteful people, sad For not receiving love or feeling attractive, instead of working to provide themselves with social and relational resources, what they do is feed hatred and pour it on the people they judge as attractive or without sexual relationship problems.
What could lead someone to fall into this problem?
Socially isolated people: They tend to be people who have achieved little success on a social level. Thus, as a consequence of their poor social experiences and relational failures, they choose to isolate themselves from society or are forced to do so as a form of protection, sometimes being victims of school bullying.
Feeling of loneliness: Social isolation is not something they want, they are not people with an antisocial profile, quite the opposite. They want to be able to interact socially and be successful, but their personal characteristics or physical appearance causes rejection in others.
Feeling of injustice and incomprehension: As a consequence of this isolation and imposed loneliness, they are people who feel that it is tremendously unfair that it is their turn to feel this way. They think that successful people are to blame for everything that happens to them and they feel angry towards girls and boys who are very open, friendly and pretty and they think that no one understands them or will ever accept them.
Poor social skills: Shyness and lack of social resources make them unskillful when it comes to relationships. They may play practical jokes in an attempt to be liked, be overly serious or inappropriate (not knowing when it is appropriate to joke and when to be serious), be suspicious (misinterpret information given thinking they are being made fun of, and become angry). without reason), not knowing how to be interested in others, how to advise or how to start or maintain a conversation, they are not very assertive people (they have a tendency towards either inhibition or behavioral aggressiveness), etc.
Low self-esteem: The personal experiences lived, rather the scarcity of personal experiences lived, feeling like weirdos, the deficiencies in social skills and the lack of resources to relate cause them to be people with poor self-esteem and a negative self-concept, not to mention self-image. (physical perception one has of oneself).
Lack of empathy: The lack of social resources is often accompanied by a lack of empathy, that is, the difficulty in positioning oneself in the other person’s place. This can lead to increased feelings of rage, which, accompanied by the objectification of successful women and men (they stop seeing them as human beings and begin to perceive themselves as just bodies), lead to the experience of feelings of revenge and even false justice. Making a simile with what happened in the Nazi era, they see that it is appropriate that these people disappear and that it is fair that they die.
All these requirements become very dangerous when combined with each other, and even more so if people who feel contempt, rejection and hatred He joins a group, recreates and enjoys that joint hatred. Hence attempts are made to close the incel community forums, as a social protection measure.
I would like to end this article by creating a little social conscience If you have read this and consider yourself an incel or feel identified with this community, think that there is another way out. Seeks therapeutic help, since it can help you work on your insecurities, shyness, lack of resources, low self-esteem and lack of success. The goal does not have to be to focus on others, but on yourself and try to change what is considered not going well in your life. Punishing others is of no use since the emptiness is in you and will remain in you if you do not remedy it.
