Emotions, like thoughts, can come to us suddenly and unexpectedly We have no control over them, although on many occasions we would like to, and they can surprise or confuse us.
How can I possibly be jealous of this? Why do things affect me so much? I do not like being sad. They are phrases that are often heard and that cause confusion in people, especially if they do not allow themselves to have a certain emotion, especially negative emotions
Ways to manage emotions
In this situation, people We can react in different ways to cope with that emotion the most frequent are:
emotional validation
Emotional validation consists of accept the emotion when it occurs, without trying to change or eliminate it
By validating the emotion we feel, it is given the importance it has and is seen as something legitimate and meaningful. After all, emotions are produced by our own body, it is something “ours” that belongs to us and identifies us in a given situation.
In this sense, when we want to emotionally support someone, we usually and must validate the emotion they are experiencing. Especially if it is sadness, anger or frustration where we tend to empathize to a greater extent and try to make sure they are not bad, as a general rule we do not want to see people as bad. This interaction must be empathetic and supportive, without judging and paying all our attention to how the person is feeling.
So why do we understand the negative emotions of others and have a hard time allowing ourselves to feel them? There are many answers to this question, and it depends on each person. However, It is common to not allow ourselves to be bad not feeling vulnerable or unable to control something, etc.
On the other hand, some guidelines to give place to how the other person who transmits an emotion to us is feeling are:
Benefits of emotional validation in therapy and daily life
If the emotion is not valid or respected, it can be seen as excessive, misplaced, or negative This can encourage the person to feel that they should not feel that way or that there are bad emotions that they should not have, feeling different from other people.
When our emotions are accepted, we can manage them better, which translates into greater psychological well-being. On the other hand, the fact of expressing our emotions to another person and having them welcomed and accepted improves the bond and intimacy of that relationship.
Definitely, Every emotional expression is valid and makes sense within the context in which it occurs There really are no positive or negative emotions, they all fulfill a specific function when they appear and our best option is to validate it, normalize it and feel it. Furthermore, we can learn from them and they help us regulate ourselves once we allow ourselves to experience it.
What can we learn from emotional validation and how can we take advantage?
With emotional validation towards other people or with emotional self-validation in ourselves, We undertake a process of learning and understanding these expressions that will help us improve how we treat ourselves and in our interpersonal relationships, since they will feel understood and accepted.
In this way, it is important to have an open mind when observing another person’s emotions. To achieve acceptance of the emotion we see in another person we must be aware that what you feel, your emotion, you have to respect it since it always makes sense under the context in which it happens.
We will finally be able to improve our relationship with the people around us, and this will also benefit how they value our emotional expressions as they also empathize to a greater extent due to the bond created. We like to help by nature, we are social beings, and we are more motivated to help if that person has previously helped us and we feel in some way “indebted” to them.
Remember that the center PsychoAlmería, both in person and online, the center’s psychologists will help you understand your emotions. You will learn to validate them to later understand why they are produced, what they transmit to you and what you can do with them to achieve your psychological well-being.
