Sometimes we dream, we fantasize and we are intrigued by the reason for everything in life, but… Do we stop to observe what it is that touches us? It seems that we love and fear our inner life at the same time that is, to our emotions.
At other times questions about essence come to us: Why am I like this? Why is this happening to me? And other doubts that fill our thoughts and spin in our heads during the day or sometimes before going to sleep, when everything is silent; They are thoughts that in some way worry us and remain constant, as if they wanted to tell us something. Faced with these experiences we remain on “autopilot.” perceiving very little of what triggers our discomfort in the circumstances we experience every day.
For this reason, we can be sensitive to the environment to a greater extent than others, in turn allowing the appearance of a vulnerability that somehow way shapes our behavior and our particular way of understanding the world sometimes from centered or slightly exaggerated positions.
They are historical and cultural constructions, they can be learned by our parents or they can be transmitted to us through events of daily life, during our history, which configure cultural and social learning.
Self-sabotage processes
The fact is that during this journey we learn to resolve the difficulties that arise, in effective or ineffective ways. Sometimes we punish ourselves and judge our own behaviors by doubting them and pointing them out ; Therefore, we make decisions that harm ourselves, being uncompassionate with ourselves and thinking that we are not competent or simply not enough or unloved. This leads to isolating behaviors, and sometimes even to non-functional activities related to drug use (such as alcohol consumption), or behavioral addictions such as pathological gambling.
These strategies are neither good nor bad, but some of them do cause us discomfort and generate greater wear and tear than others, occurring within the different areas in which we develop (such as at work, in relationships or in life). coexistence with family members or other people), limiting our resources to deal with those emotions or situations, making decision-making difficult and generating stress, emotional discomfort, poor tolerance for frustration, depression, anxiety, among other problems. These behaviors or ways of behaving are automatic, it is the way we have learned to respond to the world.
Identifying the root of the problem
Although these situations are not a big problem and are the resources we have to deal with everyday situations, they are reflected in our daily lives, causing effects that impact our lives on an emotional and behavioral level. In this sense, it is important to clarify that the difficulties and problems cannot be generalized: even if two people are going through the same situation, the particularity of their cases will most likely be different, as was their life history, experiences and learning, as well as They live in the same country or share the same roof.
For this reason, it is important to analyze the particularity of the situation and all the causal problems that cause the difficulty to be maintained and generated in the person, in their family, community, work or society environment. In this way, clinical psychology, and especially psychotherapy, seeks identify these reasons that allow the person to understand the reason for their situations and discomfort from an empathetic, humanized and non-judgmental process, which allows you to take actions and strengthen your resources to face difficulties in an effective way, generating coping strategies and behaviors adaptive to your environment and particular situation, processing your emotions and strengthening your quality of life.
“Discomfort resists being changed, but the best way is to recognize its existence. Once consciousness is present, it is time to begin the transformation process.”
