Discouragement is part of us: all human beings have felt it at some point.
In September, especially, we feel discouraged when returning to work or due to the gradual lack of sunlight (in winter we become more discouraged). On many occasions, people do not really know if they are suffering from deep discouragement or even the beginnings of depression.
We feel apathy, the only desire to do nothing, to not want to relate, and in turn That same discouragement causes us worry and frustration
Where do these sensations come from? When are we really talking about depression? How do you manage and understand that state of mind?
Discouragement is one of the most disabling sensations in our lives. It is not an intense state of mind, but a subtle one, which conquers your actions, thoughts, routines and day to day life Discouragement leads you to cancel plans, to want to start projects but finally you return to your cell phone or couch, it isolates you and protects you in an invisible bubble. A protective bubble that, in reality, is preventing you from living the way you want.
Feeling on certain occasions in our lives several days of discouragement or deep discouragement is a natural reaction to stressful stimuli or due to emotional learning However, today it is much more frequent and disabling than before.
The reasons are clear: neither our way of life is adapted to our needs (but rather to economic, industrial, work needs, etc.), nor does our digital world of over-information help us (our recent attachment to technology causes discouragement when functioning this technology as an addictive mechanism… both a mobile phone and social networks, streaming platforms, etc. come in here), and above all, because our culture makes us ignore discouragement, cover it up, until we already consider that depression caught
In my work as a psychologist and coach accompanying people in their processes of personal change, more and more people feel recurring discouragement. It may be the first problem they want to change, or sometimes discouragement accompanies anxiety. This increase should not make us relax: we must address the problem at its roots, not just with patches. Why do we get so discouraged? How to manage that feeling so that it is not so intense, frequent and long-lasting?
Here I am going to talk to you about the 3 main causes of discouragement and their solutions according to the real cases of people who had this problem in recent years and whom I have accompanied in their processes so that they could solve it 100%. Let’s go for it.
The causes of deep discouragement, and how they affect you
Discouragement is a feeling associated with sadness, including tiredness and the idea that what we do will not be worth it We could understand discouragement as a kind of low-intensity sadness that persists over days or weeks, just as anxiety is a fear that has become generalized and accompanies us every day.
However, discouragement does not necessarily have to be depression. Depression is a state of major discouragement whose diagnosis requires several conditions, some of them being the sustainability of time (between 3 and 6 months) and above all that the symptoms prevent us from having a functional life in some aspect (not being able to go to the hospital). work, avoid relationships, etc.).
In the case of discouragement, yes We can face what is fair and necessary, but we live it without enthusiasm or motivation Here comes the first surprise: discouragement, contrary to what we believe, is not a primary problem, but a consequence.
Human beings do not become discouraged easily because it is neither functional nor practical to become discouraged. Discouragement is always a consequence or result of a root problem that, if not solved in time, triggers discouragement. There can be three causes for discouragement.
1. Reaction to external events
Throughout our lives we experience difficult situations and experiences that we do not expect, they subject us to stress and cause us to feel discouraged. It may be a shocking and unexpected event (a breakup, health problem, death of a loved one) or an accumulation of stress over time (when we live limiting our dreams due to personal or work factors, a relationship where we depend too much). of the other and you forget about your well-being, etc.).
Sometimes, This discouragement can also be due to a dysfunctional way of relating to your own well-being For example: when faced with prolonged periods of routine with clear objectives (finish the race, face an opposition, etc.), we can feel a kind of emptiness that leads us to discouragement when we have already achieved that objective.
This discouragement factor is caused, above all, by having built a form of extrinsic motivation: we become accustomed to receiving well-being from external factors that we cannot control in the long term.
We really can’t control these external factors. The solution is to learn to build well-being from your own means, favoring a form of intrinsic motivation that depends more on you.
2. Reaction to anxiety
This is the most common cause of discouragement And what does anxiety have to do with discouragement? Anxiety is a state of fear that has become generalized, an intense and exhausting state, while discouragement is associated with sadness, demotivation and fatigue.
There precisely is the relationship, and this is the reason why the diagnosis of “anxious-depressive” condition is so common.
Anxiety is a state of alert, living conditioned by a fear that we have not known how to manage in time Anxiety is born from our way of breathing (hence it is mainly felt in the chest), it infects our thoughts and actions, and is totally exhausting. This is why discouragement arises: as a result of anxiety.
Living conditioned by anxiety for too long is such an exhausting process that our body tends to become discouraged in order to reduce activation. In the same way that an outburst of anger or a couple’s argument leaves us exhausted, anxiety leads us to hopeless discouragement.
However, treating discouragement (much more so if it is through chemicals) without working with the main problem, such as anxiety, leads to unflattering results in the long term: discouragement becomes normal and we cannot do the learning on our own
Thus, anxiety is probably the first and most important cause of discouragement. Ask yourself: when did your discouragement begin to arise? What situations, interpretations or experiences led you to it through anxiety?
3. The way you face and manage discouragement
Feeling discouraged at certain times in our lives is part of our human nature. We live pleasant experiences but also difficult moments that we do not know how to face. Sometimes, a succession of these moments or the reaction to anxiety can lead us to discouragement.
Another fundamental factor is how you manage discouragement Depending on your perception, actions and management of the emotion, discouragement can intensify, last longer or shorter, or increase or decrease in frequency.
It is typical for a person who suffers from anxiety, for example, and is overcoming the problem, to understand it as a kind of failure to experience an afternoon or night of anxiety. It is not at all, but is part of a natural process.
In the same way, When we hold on to discouragement and our actions are driven by that state of mind, it will be much more difficult to manage it Managing discouragement does not mean that you make it disappear, but that you understand it, accept it, and take different actions aimed at improving your mood.
This is a learning that will serve you throughout your life, since it makes you aware of your emotions and, above all, how to manage them so that they are in your favor instead of against you.
Important: try detect if in your daily life you frequently resort to an external stimulus to feel good such as the cell phone (constantly needing to look at the cell phone, watch television programs…), smoking, binge eating, etc.
In this case, you are using these external factors as a mechanism for satisfaction and encouragement, but which in turn cause more anxiety and subsequent discouragement. For your change process to work, it is necessary to detect how you now manage your mood so that it depends mainly on you and you have it in your favor.
In conclusion
You will have discovered that in all three causes there is something in common: above all, we are talking about emotions. Both mood and discouragement, fear, insecurity, anxiety, anger, frustration, guilt, even motivation, are states that depend on emotions.
We are emotional beings, we are always excited, and therefore emotion influences all our processes Your way of motivating yourself, thinking, deciding, interpreting, relating, communicating and acting are influenced not by your emotions, but by your way of understanding and managing those emotions.
This is the reason why any process of personal change will remain lame if you do not work with your emotion management.
@professioal(2060573)
I am now going to make you a special invitation. At empowermenthumano.com you have the option to schedule an exploratory session with me, which can be via WhatsApp from the comfort of your home. We will be able to explore the causes of your discouragement, find solutions and see how I can accompany you in your process so that you achieve the change you need 100%.
