Choose To Grow Or Prove Good? The 2 Types Of Mentality
Has it happened to you that sometimes you feel afraid of growing up? Without being very clear about why? Perhaps, who doesn’t want to reach their maximum potential and pursue their most precious desires?
So… Why don’t we always make decisions that benefit our growth? That they help us expand limits instead of staying in what is comfortable and safe? The beliefs we have can shed light on the issue.
We know that the beliefs we adopt about ourselves, the world we live in, and others powerfully influence the way we lead our lives, the achievement of the things we value, and our ability to overcome difficulties.
It is necessary pay attention to the type of mindset you are guiding at certain times or even in specific areas of life the decisions we make that may be limiting our ability to grow and act differently.
Carol Dweck, a professor at Stanford University in the United States, has focused her research on Why people are successful and how to encourage it.
He has developed his work around ways of thinking and has investigated the consequences of seeing intelligence and personality among others (artistic talents, sports or business skills, other person or relationship qualities) as something that is can develop or as fixed, deeply rooted and immovable traits.
His research has shown that The beliefs that people adopt about their qualities affect the goals they strive to achieve, in how they see success and failure, the importance they give to effort and challenges, in resilience in the face of difficulty and even in the ability to grow in their interpersonal relationships. She has studied two types of mentality; the Fixed and the growth.
Most people have a little of both mentalities. They may also adopt a different mindset in different areas. The truth is that we can learn to change the way we see things.
People who adopt this mentality believe that intelligence, talents, abilities, qualities, personality are fixed characteristics. You are born with a certain amount or you are the way you are without being able to do much.
This creates the urge to prove to oneself and to others over and over again that one has by nature enough intelligence, personality, character, that one is special, even superior.
Your goal is to perform well and look smart. They worry about being judged more than improving, which is why they hide their weaknesses instead of overcoming them. It is not enough to be successful, you need to be perfect immediately, at the first opportunity to try something. They don’t take the time to become, but rather they have to be what they want to be. The most important thing is the result, because it is what measures them.
This objective leads to a tendency to avoid challenges because if they take risks and fail, they believe that their image will be questioned and it will mean that they are not intelligent or that they do not have the capabilities, therefore, they prefer to stay with what they already know. do well and even miss good opportunities Learning.
However, we must remember what the writer Mark Twain said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by what you did not do than by what you did do.”
Other of its characteristics are the following.
1. They give up easily when faced with obstacles
Failure goes from being an action to an identity “I am a failure.” Even, Minimal fixes and errors can be seen as a tremendous failure.
2. They devalue the effort
They believe that trying hard makes them look less capable or intelligent or a sign of not measuring up. If they are free of this idea, they can strive to achieve their goals and are willing to do what is necessary, but as validation of their worth.
It is more important to feel constantly validated by others than to cultivate relationships that challenge you to grow, view your flaws with respect, help you work on them, and encourage you to learn new things. They are then less likely to obtain external information to help them generate the necessary changes.
4. They feel threatened by other people’s success
They feel that the success of others makes them look bad or like failures.
5. As a result, they may limit their development and not achieve their full potential.
Your beliefs feed off each other. It is believed that you do not change or improve much over time, you are the way you are.
The growth mindset
People who adopt this mentality believe that intelligence, talents, abilities, qualities, personality can be developed and cultivated through effort.
They believe that what is given to us by genetics It is only the starting point for development. You can grow over time and from passion, training, discipline and experience.
Your priority is to learn, improve and enjoy the process. They don’t care to prove how good they are. They value what they do regardless of the result.
On the other hand, these are other of its characteristics.
1. They tend to accept challenges
They are enjoyed and are the way to improve, expand limits and knowledge, become stronger and smarter.
2. They face and persist in the face of obstacles
Failure, although a painful experience, is seen as an opportunity to learn and repair mistakes, not as something that defines them as a person or that defines their capabilities and worth.
3. They value the effort
Fruits are born from effort. It is seen as necessary to grow and master important skills.
4. They learn from criticism
Negative criticism is not perceived as a definition of who they are, but rather it speaks to their current level of skills or performance. They know they can change and learn to do better and they prefer relationships that challenge them to grow respectfully.
5. They find lessons and inspiration in the success of others
They are taken as examples, sources of information and learning to put into practice on one’s own journey.
As a result, they promote their development and mastery, reaching high levels of performance and achievement. They feel that they are the ones who build themselves, which Feed back your positive beliefs and encourages them to continue learning and improving.
Make the decision to grow day by day
Choosing to grow is more than a once in a lifetime decision, it is a daily choice. Every step of the way we are faced with opportunities to embrace a growth mindset or a fixed mindset about what happens to us or what we do. If we want to grow we must allow ourselves to change limiting ideas about our intelligence, abilities, personality, etc.
This does not mean thinking that everything can be done, that it is desirable to change everything that we do not like, or that we should take on every challenge that arises. It is the job of each person to determine when their beliefs are really acting as barriers to their development in the areas or goals that they value and then make changes if they wish.
However, to grow, it is necessary to stop living for an image that others like and have the courage to explore one’s own path, making mistakes, taking on new challenges, valuing effort and facing obstacles, but above all enjoying and learning from life.
