One of the main problems that we can encounter in couples therapy is inadequate communication of what we want or ask of the other person.
One of the main problems that we can encounter in couples therapy is inadequate communication of what we want or ask of the other person. We have the belief that the other person knows or should know what we want or need at all times.
As general rules for improving communication when trying to reach a solution to a specific problem, we can indicate the following:
Define the problem or issue we are talking about, by mutual agreement between both parties.
Let the two components of the couple express their opinion, their desires and the emotions they produce.
Both must understand what the other wants and desires. If there are doubts, you should ask yourself and reformulate the conclusion you have reached about the information transmitted by the other.
Focus at all times on the issue you are talking about. If there are other topics to discuss, they are noted and discussed later.
Search for alternatives and solutions. Both sides give in and both sides win. The goal is the solution, not who is right.
Reach consensus on the decision. Both parties must verbalize their commitment. This way both will have the same idea of the agreement, and both will demonstrate their commitment.
Following these rules, assertive, clear and sincere communication is easier.
The couple will be clear about what the other’s wishes are, as well as what the agreed decisions are. There will be no unmet expectations or misunderstandings of emotions and feelings.
I’m Emily Williams Jones, a psychologist specializing in mental health with a focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. With a Ph.D. in psychology, my career has spanned research, clinical practice and private counseling. I’m dedicated to helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression and trauma by offering a personalized, evidence-based approach that combines the latest research with compassionate care.
