We all, at some point in our lives, suffer great disappointment or immense sadness, the kind that drags on for a long time, that seems to never end.
The popular saying says that time heals everything. In this article We will reflect on what is true in this phrase that circulates from word to mouth when someone is going through a bad time.
While it is true that time helps us see things differently and we can grow as people, it is also necessary to do our part to overcome the adverse situations that arise on a daily basis.
Time helps, but is it everything when it comes to leaving bad times behind?
People are made of flesh and blood but we have feelings, and Throughout our lives we experience traumatic events that mark us and, in some cases, allow us to grow. But growing is a process that we ourselves must work on. We must learn from the experiences that happen to us.
While time can be a great ally, there is more to it than just letting the days, weeks and months go by. The key is us and how we take advantage of those difficult experiences to take a leap as people.
What does science say about the healing power of time?
The phrase “time heals all” is tremendously popular, which is why a group of scientists asked themselves the question: “To what extent is this assumption true?” In a study, conducted by Arizona State University and published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science, researchers confirmed that time does not really heal all wounds. Sometimes the passage of time does not minimize the pain we feel or the sadness we experience.
And talking about time as the only variable that is related to emotional healing is incorrect. The myth that time heals everything is debunked after this research, and “things will get better soon” may seem like good advice in theory, but not in practice. Believing that time will heal everything can lead a person to passively wait for them to magically get better, and in reality, time only makes sense if an individual actively acts to restore their well-being.
Assuming that time heals everything is leaving your future and your happiness to chance or luck, and as any personal development expert would say, happiness depends on oneself (at least in large part). Saying that time heals everything is dangerous because it means that you are not a critical person, nor that you need to improve the aspects of your life that need improvement. It’s waiting, it’s waiting for improvement to happen on its own. In short, it is making pain and suffering prolonged. Authentic healing requires self-awareness, self-acceptance, and hard work.
What does science say about the pain of love?
Love is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it can also cause great suffering. When someone is going through a period of heartbreak, it is common for them to think that over time they will get better.
With time it is possible to be well, but that does not mean that time is the reason for recovery. In fact, if we do nothing to improve, it is possible that we will live thinking about the person we love for a long time, sometimes longer than expected. Having a broken heart (in reference to heartbreak) causes many problems for people’s physical health. For example, heart problems, as demonstrated by studies from the University of Aberdeen or the British Heart Foundation-funded, which investigated 52 patients, aged between 28 and 87, for four months.
This study showed that people whose souls have been broken suffer from a condition called “broken heart syndrome,” which modifies the structure of the left ventricle located in the vital organ. Despite overcoming heartbreak, the physical symptoms last for the rest of your life.
Tips to overcome emotional pain
Human beings experience emotions and not all of them are positive. At some moments in our lives, we can have a bad time. But overcoming difficult stages can help us grow and be better people.
In the following lines we present some tips that can help you overcome emotional pain and recover mental well-being.
1. Recognize emotional pain and be aware
The first step to overcoming emotional pain has to do with being aware of it. If we are not aware, we will hardly be able to remedy it. This may seem simple, but the society we live in makes us believe that having a bad time is weak. Nothing could be further from the truth, since experiencing pain can help us overcome it.
2. Treat yourself with compassion
People tend to be hard on themselves when we are having a hard time. But the best alternative in these cases is to treat each other with affection and accept that people suffer.
3. Take your time, but live in the present
Time, as we have mentioned, is not everything when it comes to overcoming the bad moments in life. However, we must let it pass, because if we seek our personal development and acquire coping tools, over time we will feel better. Letting time pass is fine, but it is necessary to live in the present moment.
4. Empower yourself
When you’re having a hard time, you may think that bad things only happen to you, or you may believe that you’re worthless. These thoughts will only invite you to enter a negative spiral from which you will have a hard time getting out. Find realistic goals and activities that you like. In short, look for the meaning of your life and empower yourself in the face of life.
