Envy Between Siblings: How To Avoid And Combat It In Children And Adults
Envy between siblings is a somewhat common situation in all families. On many occasions, it is a slight competition between siblings that does not have to be entirely negative if it does not reach extremes.
Many times it is even unconsciously that we can become envious of our brothers, but whether it is a problem or not will depend on how we manage this situation to prevent it from becoming a real problem.
In this article we will review some tips to know how to manage this situation between siblings, both from the point of view of the siblings themselves and from the role of parents
Some situations that trigger the presence of envy between siblings is the fact of wanting to be more taken into account by parents and the close environment (friends and family). This It is typical in the early stages of development, in children and adolescents
In adulthood this envy could also persist, but for different reasons; Perceiving that my brother has been more successful than me in the workplace or in some other aspect may cause this feeling to reappear again in adulthood.
Below we will see a list of useful tips to channel the event appropriately.
1. Take it as something specific to the relationship
First of all, we must keep in mind that we should not feel as if we were villains for having jealousy between siblings.
The relationship between siblings does not have to be rosy all the time; Misunderstandings can be frequent, and Envy is a feeling that appears very early in the life of blood relatives
However, the bond of brotherhood must be understood as something that transcends all those situations, typical of coexistence. We must be aware that Those specific feelings that we may have are just that passing experiences that do not define the real bond that one has with their brother or sister.
2. See your brother as part of the same team
The family is an institution made up of people with biological coincidences, but at the same time They harbor diverse opinions and tastes that are different from each other ; Siblings often tend to have a rivalry relationship.
But when our brother succeeds in personal aspects, which have nothing to do with us, the ideal is to understand that achievement as a goal achieved by a member of our team.
3. Review aspects of yourself
When you have a feeling of envy towards your siblings, it can usually be motivated by aspects of yourself that you dislike.
Therefore, it is good to take the time necessary to identify what these aspects could be and start working on them. Strengthening self-esteem strengthens us against envy and jealousy
4. Have an assertive communication channel with my brother
Practicing assertive communication brings us great benefits in our daily lives. By implementing this form of communication with our brothers we can sand all kinds of rough edges without giving up expressing our opinions.
The assertive communication process is based on saying things honestly and in an adaptive way; with appropriate tone of voice and avoiding using hurtful terms
Address this problem in our children
As parents of young children or adolescents, we must also understand that this situation is typical of siblings. However, care must be taken in don’t let it get out of control Parents are guarantors of the emotional and physical stability of their children. Therefore, it is necessary to provide them with the necessary tools for the future.
Regarding the rivalry that may exist between siblings, parents must implement conflict resolution methods that can serve them for the rest of their lives. Let’s see what they are.
1. Imparting education in values
To the extent that we educate our children about the importance of values, we are reducing the probability of generating unhealthy envy between the brothers. Family is one of the most important values, and we must make sure our children understand it.
2. Avoiding comparisons
The saying goes well that comparisons are hateful, especially with our children. The ideal is promote the strengths of each of them without making comparisons with respect to the other brothers.
3. Encouraging them to spend quality time together
If we let our children know that they can spend quality time with their siblings, we are gaining ground on the hostility between them since their bond will become increasingly stronger and the empathy between them will grow.
4. avoid showing preference towards any of the siblings
If one of your children thinks that you have a preference for their siblings, then the chances that they will envy them are greater, and this envy could transcend into adulthood. like an old grudge From the past.
The ideal will always be to be egalitarian and fair regarding the rewards and punishments that matter to your children; That way any of them are less likely to feel less than the others.
