Expectations In Love: How To Know If They Are Realistic? 7 Tips
Relationships are not only based on love. Furthermore, they always go hand in hand with a series of commitments and efforts aimed at creating a climate of mutual trust. And this, in turn, raises expectations about what will happen in the future in that relationship.
However, There are times when expectations in love do not fit reality , either because they are based on unjustified optimism, or because they make us fall into something that can almost be considered paranoia and fear of abandonment. Knowing how to analyze whether they adjust to reality or not is one of the most important elements for the love bond to be maintained, if you already have a partner, or to correct certain attitudes if you do not have a stable love relationship.
In the world of romantic relationships, expectations are the set of beliefs that outline an expected or probable future regarding coexistence and mutual accompaniment with real or imagined people (in the event that you are thinking of a partner who has not yet met).
Thus, they are not limited to being a set of ideas “saved” inside the brain of each of the lovers, but they are constantly affecting the way in which the people who participate in the emotional bond interact with each other day by day. day, although future plans are not explicitly discussed.
That is why it is vital to see to what extent these expectations are compatible and fit together, or to what extent these ideas are not too demanding with what life offers us We must keep in mind that these expectations are not only about what the person in love with us will or could be like, but also the material context in which the relationship will take place. For example: is it sensible to expect a life as a couple full of luxuries if you are not currently earning money? Probably not.
Next we will examine, depending on whether they are expectations in love with a relationship already existing or not, how we can adjust them to what is sensible. First of all, let’s start with the case of those who already have a reciprocated love bond.
How to assess expectations in love if you already have a partner
Follow these guidelines to reach the most objective understanding possible, keep these key ideas in mind in your daily life.
1. Analyze the causes of possible fears
Many times, uncertainty makes us afraid of feeling frustrated by placing too much hope in a relationship. It is clear that each case is unique, but despite this it is possible to assess a series of objective criteria to ensure that it really there are reasonable causes to doubt
First, start by thinking about your situation and creating a list. Secondly, think about the extent to which they are fears associated with real or imagined signs, probable or not. You can order them following this criterion, and assess the importance that each one has for you.
2. Think about your self-esteem
Some fears may arise not from the characteristics of the relationship itself, but from self-esteem. This is very common in people who have an unkind concept of themselves and They believe they will be abandoned because they are not worth much Detecting the problem in this cause is already a great advance, and psychological therapy usually helps.
3. Have you fantasized too much?
There are times when the fact that we glimpse a very happy future makes us become obsessed with those ideas, and we begin to believe that our own happiness depends on it. At the same time, the fear of not reaching that goal appears
Therefore, reflect on whether, if you really have in mind a tomorrow clearly marked by a happiness much greater than that of the present, there are reasons to assume that this will be the case, and what you are doing to achieve it.
4. Talk it out
Sharing these ideas is crucial. Talk about your dreams and your fears It can be somewhat stressful, but it is necessary if there are suspicions of an imbalance in this aspect. Of course, it is crucial to do so from a constructive perspective.
And if you are single…
When reviewing your expectations of love while single follow these tips.
Sometimes, we rule out the possibility of starting relationships with certain people simply because they do not meet one or several very defined characteristics. Does this make sense?
2. Are you trying to give an image that is not real? Do not do it
There are those who hope to have romantic relationships by attracting the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend profile by behaving in a way which is supposed to attract those types of people This is an imposture that goes nowhere in practice.
3. Have you accepted loneliness? Question it
No one has to be alone, although certain people have an easier time attracting the attention of others. But defeatism effectively means that other people do not perceive any interest in oneself.
