How Can I Help My Partner Overcome Grief? Tips Against Sadness
Grief processes, such as those that arise when losing someone loved, almost always involve significantly significant discomfort for the person experiencing it. Therefore, when it is our boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband who suffers from it, a typical question arises: How can I help my partner overcome grief?
In this article you will find a list of tips that can be very useful to provide you with the necessary support.
The partner represents a source of support, which can often be decisive in helping to overcome grief.
This is not an easy situation, and it must be given the importance it deserves, but first of all we must understand what a grieving process is, in order to then be able to better understand what our partner is going through and thus provide help in a timely manner. more efficient way.
Grief is a process through which a person experiences the loss of a person or item significant to your life , either due to death or because it is no longer accessible (for example, if it happens to be too far away). It could also come from the fact of not being able to continue with an activity that the person liked; a university degree, for example.
Once the subject has suffered the loss, a crisis of emotions related to the fact of loss occurs. not being able to live like when access to that person, object or activity was something that was taken for granted
The typical psychological states one goes through when experiencing grief have been described as follows. It is important to keep in mind that grief does not always begin at the first stage; depending on the personality characteristics of each subject, the process could begin at a more advanced stage and last less.
1. The denial stage
This stage of the grieving process shows the rejection that the person experiences in the face of the loss. It is a situation so adverse for the subject that he refuses to accept it as a real fact
Phrases like “this can’t be happening”, “this can’t be real”, among others, are typical during this stage.
2. The anger stage
In this phase the subject begins to realize that can’t do anything to change reality and this is precisely what makes her frustrated and feel angry and irritated.
It is an anger that has no clear focus; The person knows that he can’t do anything to change what has happened, and usually can’t figure out how to drain the hostile feelings from him.
3. Negotiation stage
During this stage, people begin to ask themselves retrospective questions, as a way of see in your imagination what would have happened if things had happened differently
For example; They begin to imagine that there was something they could have done to change the fact of the loss they suffered, and they begin to question themselves.
4. The depression stage
At this point the subject begins to present depressive symptoms They have nothing to do with clinical depression, but are a normal response to loss.
The subject becomes depressed because in some way he understands that he must move forward with his life, despite the loss, and that idea generates sadness and anguish.
5. Acceptance
Finally calm comes. In this last stage of the grieving process, the person has adequately drained all the emotions that having gone through the loss generated, and begins to reorganize his life again
How can I help my partner overcome grief?
Empathy is essential when we want to help our partner overcome their grieving process. Having the ability to put ourselves in your shoes during difficult times sensitizes us to your situation and helps us provide you with everything you need to get ahead.
That said, these are the main tips to help your partner overcome grief.
1. Stay present
The pure fact of being present during your partner’s grief represents an emotional support for him or her
You don’t have to try to say something comforting every moment. Just stay close and offer your support openly.
2. Active listening
While you are accompanying your partner, make sure Let him know that he can openly express all his feelings
Listening to your feelings and emotions is important so that you can drain any discomfort you may be feeling.
3. Avoid showing up to your partner
Contrary to what some people think, compassion does not provide any type of help to the person, on the contrary, it works as a reinforcer of negative feelings. Therefore, if what we want is to help him overcome these feelings, it is best to avoid this at all costs.
4. Encourage your partner not to neglect themselves
This point refers to the personal care that we must provide to our partner. In a situation of grief It is common for people to tend to neglect basic aspects of their lives such as food or personal hygiene.
If you notice that your partner is neglecting any of these aspects, or in others related to basic needs, then offer support in this aspect. If not, this factor can cause you to continue feeling bad and have a greater predisposition to feed negative thoughts, associated with sadness and melancholy.
