How Do We Know If Our Children Have Low Self-esteem?

The concept “self” refers to all the perceptions that an individual has of himself, with special emphasis on his own worth. The opinion of oneself would be at the basis of self-esteem; Self-esteem is the degree of satisfaction with oneself, the value of oneself

From a very young age, the child gets an idea of ​​what surrounds him, and also builds a personal image. This mental image corresponds to what other people think of him.

The assessment he makes of himself depends on the way in which he sees that he is meeting his parents’ expectations. If the child feels that his achievements are in accordance with what is expected, he will feel capable and competent, otherwise he will feel incapable and incapable. valuable.

How is low self-esteem expressed?

Children have different ways of expression of low self-esteem and many of them can go unnoticed since in popular beliefs they are not considered behaviors typical of low self-esteem.

The most frequent forms are:

• Excessively complaining and critical attitude. ORIt is a way of expressing a feeling of discontent because things do not turn out as they deserve or expect and the feeling of not being able to be sufficiently valued by other people. Through complaints and criticism they seek the attention and sympathy of others, this makes them more likely to be rejected, which confirms that no one understands them and they assume the position of victims.
• Compulsive need to attract attention. These are usually children who tend to interrupt in a careless and inappropriate manner, so that others will notice them, something with which they are usually not successful and receive negative responses. Thus, their need for approval remains unsatisfied, which increases their demanding attitude.
• Inhibited and unsociable attitude. They value themselves little, they are afraid of exposing themselves, they think that they are more boring to other children and they do not dare to take the initiative because they think they will be rejected.
• Overriding need to win. They get disproportionately angry when they lose. They believe that to be loved they have to be first in everything. They are bad losers and bad winners because they can make exaggerated displays of their successes.
• Excessive fear of making mistakes. The fear of not being successful paralyzes them, they are anxious about school demands.
• Unsafe attitude. They present great insecurity about exposing themselves, they are afraid of speaking in public, a marked sense of ridicule. This attitude slows down their creativity, since they prefer to only do what they are sure they do well.
• Sad mood. They are children who do not fight for their space, they accept the place assigned to them. It must be taken into account that these children need to be given significant space more than others.
• Perfectionist attitude. They are rarely happy with what they do, they do not like others to see what they have done. Their desire to correct and improve what they are doing is very unproductive. It is difficult for them to discriminate what is important, they spend the same energy on accessory things as on important things, sometimes neglecting to do fundamental tasks. Their parents and teachers say that they do quality work but it is slow and they are not able to finish it.
• Defiant and aggressive attitude. The most difficult way to perceive it as a problem is low self-esteem since these children seem overconfident. Most cover their frustration and sadness with feelings of anger. They compensate for the fear of lack of approval by transforming their insecurity into aggressive behavior.
• Defeatist attitude They are children with a previous history of failures, and they tend to imagine in any situation that the results are going to be bad, so sometimes they don’t even start them. They perceive themselves as failures. Many times they are described by adults as lazy, behind this laziness is the fear that despite the effort the results will be insufficient, so they prefer to be considered lazy rather than stupid.
• Compulsive need for approval. They are boys and girls who would like to be approved by everyone. They need recognition for every achievement, which denotes a lack of confidence in their own abilities.

If your child has one or more behaviors, most likely his self-concept is not the best, we will have to reinforce it, because if we let time pass each time his self-concept will continue to decrease, something that will prevent him from being happy.