Know how to be pleasant when dealing with others can be a crucial element when creating social bonds. And beyond our knowledge, skills and interests, something as simple as knowing how to make people feel comfortable around us predisposes them to adopt a positive attitude towards us.
In this article we will look at several basic tips on how to be nice to others and get the sympathy flowing. Modifying our habits based on these ideas can be helpful in making friends, dealing with neighbors and work colleagues, etc.
In personal relationships, it is not only important what you are, understood as what defines us psychologically, but it also greatly influences how we show ourselves to others. And although the human mind can adopt an infinite number of details and nuances that make each individual unique, When socializing there are a few details that are capable of making a difference in the process of making a good impression on others.
The truth is that what sets the tone of a dialogue is not what is said, but the elements that are often non-verbal and that accompany the communication and that structure it. Let’s see how to take advantage of this to make a conversation adopt a friendly tone in which the other person feels welcome.
This is one of the classic pieces of advice regarding personal relationships and communication, because it has different facets. On the one hand, not looking people in the eye expresses insecurity or the desire to hide something, but on the other hand, it also creates a rarefied atmosphere in which our interlocutors do not feel comfortable.
Thus, maintaining eye contact is one of the minimum requirements to be pleasant in a conversation, although, of course, it is not sufficient. Obviously it is not necessary to look into the other’s eyes constantly, since trying to do this is artificial and disturbing. The best thing is to look at the face of the person we are talking to and try not to turn away from them for long periods of time.
2. Take into account the cultural level of the other
Culture can be divided into many areas of knowledge, and chances are that the person you are talking to at any given moment does not know as much as you do about each of them. Assuming that they will understand the references you use or the concepts you use to explain something is not the most appropriate.
Think that if it is technicalities or lines of reasoning belonging to highly specialized areas of knowledge, and you resort to them constantly, you will make the other person uncomfortable. Not because he feels bad for not knowing what you’re talking about, but because he has to interrupt you to understand what you’re saying.
Therefore, if it is necessary to refer to these concepts, first explain what they are.
3. Don’t be afraid of silence
A good conversation can be full of silences. Therefore, it is better not to be afraid of those moments when no one speaks, than to say anything just to avoid having to go through those types of situations. What makes some silences uncomfortable is not the lack of words themselves but the context in which they occur and, above all, the way in which we react to them.
4. Show interest in the other person
It is important that the other person can talk about what they consider important about the moment they are going through in a particular area of their life, or in their life in general, depending on the purpose of the conversation Ask questions about what may interest or worry them, and listen.
5. Don’t adopt a paternalistic attitude
There are those who confuse the ability to give advice on a subject they are familiar with, with the power to treat other people as if they were children or knew nothing about life. It is advisable to avoid this and keep in mind that each person has their own criteria and ability to know what is best at any given time.
6. Remember what matters about each person
Remembering details about people we have spoken to in the past shows interest and is generally responded with gratitude by others especially if what we keep in our memory is something personal beyond basic data such as name or age.
Try not to use nonverbal language that shows you are defensive. For example, keeping your arms crossed or slouching in the chair you sit in while speaking. It is better to appear relaxed, with the limbs relatively far from the vertical that marks our chest.
8. Take care of your personal hygiene
Beyond the style you use to dress, hygiene is essential. The simple fact of not respecting this guideline makes people physically more distant with the consequent impact on social relations.
