How To Enjoy Being Single? 5 Tips To Unleash Your Potential
For a long time, it has tended to be assumed that every successful life project involves having a partner and, from that loving relationship, creating a family. This has meant that for centuries singleness has had to be “excused” so as not to be seen as something that speaks ill of the person without a partner; This type of explanation could range from consecrating one’s life to religion (through celibacy) to leading a very ambitious professional career that requires total dedication to work.
In any case, in the absence of one of these reasons to justify being single, it was seen as a sign that something was wrong with the person who was neither married nor had a boyfriend or girlfriend. The idea that you could be normal and happy without having a partner was inconceivable… and although this may seem like a very irrational and prejudiced belief, the truth is that it still permeates our popular culture today. Automatically, almost unconsciously, we associate the concept of “single adult” with an incomplete way of living, incapable of producing authentic well-being.
Therefore, in this article we will review several key ideas that show that it is perfectly possible to enjoy being single without hoping for it to end as soon as possible
As we have anticipated, the importance that the institution of the traditional family has had throughout much of history has meant that singleness is seen as an anomaly or deviation from normality. something that must be accompanied by a satisfactory explanation so that it does not detract from the person’s dignity
This type of stigma has especially affected women, who until not so long ago were seen basically as a reproductive resource with no capacity for self-realization beyond the areas of raising children and domestic matters; But it has also affected men, who were deprived of accessing a paternal role and “owner of the house” (leader and protector of the family). And the ideas and beliefs we have inherited from previous generations can make expectations become reality; That is, single people, assuming that they are seen as something strange after adolescence, perceive themselves as incomplete or even failures.
But the truth is that, through correct management of emotions and a process of deep self-knowledge it is perfectly possible to be happy being single and counteract the limiting influence of those stereotypes and prejudices that still exist.
1. Start an emotion diary to detect your dysfunctional beliefs
If until now you have been experiencing singleness as a problem, most likely this is due, at least in part, to the fact that you have internalized a series of dysfunctional beliefs based on prejudices; ideas that you have accepted without further ado out of pure social pressure, and that is why you have not stopped to assess whether they adjust to reality and bring you well-being or detract from it.
To detect these problematic beliefs, it is very useful to fill out an emotional diary ; a small notebook in which you make brief notes about what you feel during the most emotionally intense moments of the day, what goes through your head in situations that are significant to you. Once you have been writing for a little over a week, it will be easy for you to review the previous pages and detect certain main ideas, frequent themes, and general beliefs behind your way of thinking.
2. Don’t let your free time go away in solitary activities
Although being a single person does not mean having a lot of free time, it is a fact that on average, those who do not have a partner have more hours free of responsibilities than those who are married or in a relationship. Therefore, when in situations like this most of the rest or leisure time is dedicated to solitary activities, social isolation is more noticeable and in the medium term it usually generates a feeling of disconnection with the environment.
Therefore, that “extra” free time must be compensated with also an “extra” effort to make it contain moments dedicated to oneself and dedicated to being in the company of friends and family.
3. Learn to stop seeing previous breakups as a failure
One of the elements that makes it most difficult to enjoy being single is to see it as the way of life that we have to go through after failing in a relationship, that is, the state that reminds us that “we have not been able to keep someone by our side.” ”. This totally toxic view of events is closely related to the idea of the better half, according to which we are made to share our lives with someone through a relationship based on romantic love.
However, the truth is that Human beings are not fabrications created to fit into a relationship ; For better and for worse, we are much more versatile than that, and in fact History shows that we can adapt to an immense variety of environments and situations.
To get rid of this harmful idea, stop focusing only on the things you did in your previous relationships that made it difficult to consolidate that courtship or marriage, and adopt a more global perspective of what happened. Can it be said that everything was your fault? Is guilt a useful concept for understanding what happened and learning from it? The incompatibility between two people in a relationship is something that goes beyond moral considerations about what good or bad each person did.
Being single goes hand in hand with greater independence. Explore the potential of this lifestyle asset. Do not have as a reference what people with a partner do , create your own way of enjoying your options by focusing on what you really like: create a list of things you would like to do in the next two months, and then another with things you would like to do in the next six months. Keeping these goals in mind will help you assess your ability to adapt to these projects without having to talk about it with anyone else.
5. Value what sexual relationships without commitment give you
Beyond the same ultra-conservative morality from which we have inherited the stigmatization of singleness, There is nothing wrong with enjoying sexuality without major commitments and without the schemes of romantic love. Practice developing your seduction skills and getting other people involved in them, and let that be part of your way of life by letting go of complexes. Of course, remember that if you do not set specific goals that involve leaving your comfort zone when it comes to meeting people, your way of enjoying this aspect of life will be limited.
