How To Get Out Of Depression After A Divorce

There are cases in which divorce becomes a stressful and traumatic event in which the pain is excessive and some symptoms of depression:

• Not being able to sleep or sleeping more than normal.
• Overeating or lack of appetite.
• Excessive fatigue.
• Strange and unusual pains.
• Excessive alcohol or drug consumption.
• Difficulty concentrating.
• Persistent negative thoughts.
• Irritability or anger.
• Anxiety or restlessness.
• Feeling of guilt or worthlessness.
• Pessimism or indifference.
• Loss of interest in activities that were previously very rewarding for the person.
• Recurrent thoughts of death.
• Suicidal thoughts (immediate professional help).

Although it is normal to feel some of these symptoms during this process, the person should contact a specialist if they experience at least 4 of the above symptoms on a daily basis for a prolonged period of time.

From the moment the person knows that there is going to be a separation, they go through a series of emotional stages regarding this life event, generally characterized by pain and loss:

Denial

Denial is the way we try to protect ourselves from an “emotional storm” and thus try to overcome it emotionally. It is a useful coping mechanism, as long as it does not prevent us from leading a normal life. Therefore, what is characteristic of this stage is that it is not abused, that is, we must not remain in denial, refusing to face reality is not an adequate strategy. Therefore, denial is a useful mechanism in the short term, while in the long term it entails high costs in the person’s life.

Anger

During this stage, the other person is blamed for everything that happens to us. For a time, all those adversities that we encounter in our new life are the other person’s fault, we play no role. Anger or anger makes us see nothing good in the ex-partner. It is a stage in which any moment is taken advantage of to release all the pent up anger in the denial phase.

Negotiation

This stage is characterized by trying to fix or repair the damage caused for the separation. It’s when you stop to think and say I can’t handle this, I will negotiate anything with him/her to avoid going through this.

This is an attempt to get your “life” back. At this stage, you begin to miss the positive aspects of the ex-partner, his smile, his jokes…, and you want him to return. That is to say, you go from despising it in the anger stage to pondering it in this negotiation stage. This is where the person thinks whether divorce is a right decision or not.

Depression

At this stage, you won’t feel like leaving the house or doing anything. You prefer to be in bed or watching television most of the time. Sadness is your companion during this stage. This is an expected stage throughout this process, where the person grieves (he has lost his companion). Therefore, it is essential that you surround yourself with a good support system, whether family or friends, as well as therapy sessions, if necessary. It’s very important not isolate yourself during this stage.

Acceptance

This stage is the end. After having gone through adversity, you have overcome it and learned from it, but we must keep in mind that accept the new situation It doesn’t mean that we are always happy and don’t have negative emotions about divorce. There may still be times when you feel angry or sad about the loss of your marriage. The important thing is that although you still have those negative moments or feelings, they are no longer paralyzing or interfering with your life.

Take note of the following tips that can help you get out of depression after a divorce:

• Don’t compare yourself to other people who have gone through the same thing as you. Remember that every situation is different and every person is different. Furthermore, the same situation does not affect us all equally or in the same way.
• Look for new activities and relationships that can help you build your new life, but don’t rush, wait a while before you start taking steps.
• Think of something positive that you can get out of what is happening to you. Every morning before you get up and at night think about something positive about the current moment.
• Don’t isolate yourself or experience these difficulties alone. Lean on your family or friends, but you should choose those people in your environment who have good listening skills and who can respect your feelings and be a support for you.
• Take care of your physical health. Eat healthy, get as much physical exercise as you can and try to get enough sleep to maintain good levels of stress and depression.
• Plan the implementation of activities. Try to do things that in the past were very rewarding, even if there is sadness or depression you must stick to that plan. It’s not about waiting to be well to do things, but about doing things to start being well.
• Be aware of your emotions (anger, guilt, sadness, loneliness, etc.) and feel them. The way to free yourself from your emotions is to recognize, accept what you are feeling and allow yourself to feel them.
• The pain of a separation is not overcome in a day, it is essential to respect the times. There are no established adequate times, each person has their own circumstances and must mark their times to overcome depression due to divorce.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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