How to Help a Person Suffering from Post-traumatic Stress?

Post-traumatic stress and the disorder directly associated with it, PTSD, are problems that arise after having lived a highly stressful experience. Whether it is a rape, a terrorist attack, a plane crash or any event of this type, the person is scarred for life.

There are disorders focused on PTSD and other anxiety disorders but, in addition to professional help, the circle of family, friends and other loved ones can help improve or, at least, avoid worsening the health status of the person affected by this problem.

Next we will discover how to help a person suffering from post-traumatic stress in addition to also seeing how we can take care of ourselves to prevent our loved one’s disorder from damaging our mental health.

How to help a person suffering from post-traumatic stress?

Many people can suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after having suffered or witnessed a highly traumatic event, such as a rape, a kidnapping, a plane crash, or having been mistreated… Who suffers from this disorder relives the traumatic event over and over again, since it has left a deep mark on him. Although this re-experience or “flashback” is only in her mind and can no longer harm her, the feelings of anguish, anxiety, lack of control and fear are terribly real.

People who suffer from PTSD have a greatly reduced quality of life in addition to being more likely to suffer from other disorders, especially depression. Because of this, driven by concern and the desire for the person suffering from this stress to recover, those closest to them try to do everything possible to help them recover, although in many cases they end up suffering from stress as well. The discomfort of the person with PTSD ends up causing damage around them.

But there is not only stress. People with post-traumatic stress may change their mood very suddenly, become aggressive, not want to leave the house, be afraid of the outside world and meeting other people. In many cases it becomes difficult to live well with them and Your loved ones no longer know what else to do or how to help you. They run out of all their resources and frustration and helplessness invade them as they see that their efforts are of no use.

Fortunately, we have a series of tips that can teach us how to help a person suffering from post-traumatic stress. It must be understood that not all of them have to work, and that professional help from psychologists and doctors is always necessary and recommended. However, the family environment, friends and other loved ones, as the support figures that they are, can facilitate the healing process of your loved one, increasing their well-being and improving family relationships.

Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder

We cannot help a person suffering from post-traumatic stress without knowing what this disorder is or how it manifests itself. After going to a psychologist to confirm that our loved one suffers from post-traumatic stress, this professional will explain to us what the main symptoms of this disorder are and what its progress is. Among the most common symptoms we find the following:

What to do to help?

We must understand that The healing process of our loved one will depend largely on whether they go to a professional and if they do their part. , in addition to various contextual factors. However, as family, friends and partners we can help in their improvement process, although we must understand that, even if our help is well-intentioned, we must not forget that not everything we do will help them and we even run the risk of making it worse.

For this reason, it is very important to follow the following tips that will help us help our loved one and avoid actions that, even if we do them thinking about their good, will only hinder their improvement.

1. Get detailed information

It is not possible to help a person with PTSD without knowing what it is. In addition to the symptoms that we have seen in the previous section, Post-traumatic stress can manifest itself in multiple ways. It is good to know what the treatment options are and if there are support groups in the area.

Knowing about cases of celebrities who suffer from it, such as Lady Gaga or Ariana Grande, can help to understand the disorder more thoroughly, since the more visibility it has through a celebrity, the greater awareness is generated.

The best weapon against this problem is to be informed, letting the person understand that we have spent time trying to better understand what is happening to them and that we want to do everything possible to help them get better.

2. Choose a time to talk

We can only understand the person suffering from PTSD by talking directly to them, although we cannot do this at any time or in any place. We must choose a time and place where there are no distractions or interruptions.

Once these requirements have been met, it will be time to let him speak. Expressing yourself and talking about what happens to you is always a great help in recovering from any problem, whether a medical illness or a disorder because, although it is not a therapy in itself, feeling that you are listened to and cared for gives us well-being. and calm.

It is very important that, when the person with post-traumatic stress talks to us about their feelings, we avoid any impulse to question their suffering, make assumptions, give gratuitous advice or blurt out “I know how you feel.” If we do not suffer from post-traumatic stress we will not know what he or she feels.

Another very important point is that we should not pressure him. If he is not ready or willing to talk right now, it is best to leave him alone. Whatever the case, we must tell him and make him understand that what we want is to help him, to know how he feels and when he wants and feels more prepared to talk that he can count on us.

3. Make plans with him or her

Many people with mental disorders become isolated from their environment and, in turn, their loved ones progressively leave them aside when they see that they do not dare to do as many things as before. This withdrawal also occurs with post-traumatic stress, and all it does is worsen the disorder.

For this reason, as the emotional support that we are, we must make plans with him or her, try to make him or her not feel abandoned and see if he or she is encouraged to do those things that he or she previously liked to do. Any activity is valid: going for a walk, riding a bicycle, painting, seeing the flowers in the countryside…

The idea of ​​doing all this is that, in addition to feeling like you are still part of the world, you become active and progressively show interest in doing things for yourself, returning to your old hobbies, feeling that life is worth living.

Nevertheless, we should not insist too much at the beginning, especially if he totally refuses to do any activity at the moment. It’s totally normal, you’re still starting your path to healing. We can motivate him in subtle ways, with small mundane things. Doing it too much at once will only make you withdraw more into yourself and feel more discomfort.

4. Encourage contact with family and friends

As we mentioned with the previous point, it often happens that people with disorders, and especially with PTSD and other anxiety disorders, end up isolating themselves, separating themselves from their loved ones such as family and close friends. Other times it is these people who end up leaving it aside, since in many cases it is difficult for the patient to do their part.

Isolation is the worst thing that can happen to a person, especially if they suffer from a mental disorder as serious as PTSD. As loved ones and a large part of your world that we are at this moment, we must make an effort to stay connected with other people, making him see that he is still someone loved and that there are many people who care about him or her.

5. Tolerance and patience

We must be tolerant and patient. People who suffer from this type of disorder usually find themselves very volatile and get very irritated, even over things that may seem like real trifles to us. It’s not that they are bad people, it’s not that they do it on purpose: it is a symptom of their mental disorder. We should not take it personally and we should try to stay calm.

6. Alert: suicide

If the person explicitly says they want to die, behaves in a way that makes us think they could commit suicide, or has confessed to us that they have fantasized about the idea of ​​suicide, the alerts should be activated. We must not lose our calm, but we must act quickly for what may happen.

It is essential to avoid at all costs that the person is left alone. If he lives alone, we should consider spending some time at her house to make sure nothing happens and, if it does, call the emergency services before it is too late. While in your house we can eliminate any potentially dangerous object: pills, knives, ropes, firearms, detergents…

Some helpful resources in case of a possible suicide attempt:

Telephone of Hope: 91 459 00 55 – 717 003 717 ANAR Foundation: 900 20 20 10 The telephone against suicide: 911 385 385 Telephone against suicide in Barcelona: 900 92 55 55

7. Start therapy

All of the above tips are very useful and should be taken into account when we have a loved one with PTSD; However, we must assume that the person will only recover significantly if they receive professional help. It is for this reason that we must motivate you to start psychological and, if necessary, medical therapy.

Going to therapy and receiving adequate emotional support from family and friends will accelerate the healing process of our loved one with PTSD. The evaluation and advice that the psychologist will provide, in addition to ruling out any medical problem that could worsen the disorder, are essential when defining the course of the disorder.

To encourage you to start therapy, we can accompany you to your appointments with the psychologist and doctor. The first session is usually a little scary, but if we accompany you, you will have less to fear, which will make it easier for you to get hooked on the therapy. In addition, this is a way of showing that we support him and want him to recover.

How can I deal with anger or violent behavior?

Having witnessed a highly traumatic event changes us completely. A person who was calm, pleasant and kind can become aggressive, taciturn and depressed after experiencing a terrorist attack or rape. The psychological suffering is so great that personality and behavior change radically. On many occasions, the person pays for the suffering with those closest to them, both verbally and physically, but no matter how much they suffer, we do not deserve nor do we have to endure this treatment.

It is common for people with PTSD to have anger, a completely normal reaction to trauma. , but which can ruin family relationships and make it very difficult to help. This emotion can scare us, thinking that he has become a real monster and that he is going to hurt us or himself. We must act quickly.

If anger leads him to behave aggressively and tries to harm us, no matter how cruel and serious the event he experienced was, we cannot do nothing. We have to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and also those who suffer from PTSD from themselves. If we see that he or she begins to behave aggressively, we should go to a safe place, ask for help immediately, and if we have to resort to emergencies, we will have to do so. Our physical integrity comes first.

How to take care of yourself?

Naturally, it is very good to want to help others, especially if they are going through something as serious as post-traumatic stress, however, we cannot think of others before ourselves. It often happens that when we want to help a close loved one we end up forgetting about our own well-being. We cannot help other people if we are not well or helping ourselves. Next we will see how to take care of ourselves, preventing other people’s stress from harming us.

1. It’s not our fault

Many feel guilty when their loved one with PTSD does not get better. They think that they have everything in their power to improve the health of their family member or friend, which is not the case. No matter how hard we try, whether a person with post-traumatic stress improves depends on many factors, including their own will, receiving psychotherapy, and contextual factors that are not under anyone’s control. If he doesn’t improve, it’s not our fault.

2. Seek support from family and friends

In the same way that family and friends should help the person suffering from post-traumatic stress, they should also help each other. When creating an emotional support network, you should not only think about the well-being of the person affected by PTSD. , but also in the entire structure. Family and friends support each other, listening and learning ways to relieve the stress caused by helping a loved one who has a psychological problem.

3. Dedicate time to yourself

Each of us has a life and we must live it. Taking time for yourself is crucial for good health. Yes, we will have to dedicate some time to our loved one with PTSD and he or she should know that we will be there for whatever they need, but we also have the right to have fun, to continue being who we are, to invest time in the most important person. in our lives: ourselves.

We should not feel bad because we are having a good time and the person affected by post-traumatic stress is not. Whether we had a good time or a bad time, he or she will remain the same. Feeling good is not leaving her aside, leaving her aside is ignoring her, not wanting to listen to her or forgetting her in a corner while she suffers. If we have already paid attention to him and he knows that we will be there for what he needs when he needs it, what reason is there not to continue living our life?

4. Maintain good habits

It is very common that, due to the exhaustion caused by helping a person with PTSD, we end up neglecting our health habits. It can happen that we eat junk food, which is quick to make, and that we binge from time to time. In other cases the opposite happens, that you eat less. It is very common to stop doing sports.

The saying is already classic: a healthy mind in a healthy body. We cannot enjoy full mental health if we do not maintain good health habits. We need to eat well, eating a healthy and varied diet that covers all energy and nutritional requirements, in addition to exercising frequently.

Playing sports will give us vitality, optimism and increase our mood, this being a protective factor against stress that can be “infected” by the person we care for. Just taking a 30-minute walk a day is enough to have the benefits of having done a moderate sporting activity. Why don’t we do it?

5. Go to the psychologist

Going to a psychologist is not only something for those who suffer from post-traumatic stress. In the same way that we go to the dentist to make sure we don’t have cavities or go to the doctor to get a check-up and rule out any illness, we should go to the psychologist to make sure we are fine.

It’s true that it can scare us a little. It is not comfortable to go to the psychologist the first time and thinking that they can find “something” for us is not pleasant, however, isn’t prevention better than cure? If we’re good, then great. If we have a problem, it is better to learn how to manage it so we can become the best version of ourselves. and be able to fully enjoy our lives.

Summary

Helping a person with post-traumatic stress is a continuous, complex process that requires a lot of patience and tolerance. Each person is different, and their form and pace of recovery can be very varied. Friends, family and other loved ones can be important emotional support that can be of great help in following treatment and feeling better. Receiving support from the immediate environment helps in healing.

Documenting yourself about post-traumatic stress, going to a psychologist, avoiding any suicide attempt at all costs and encouraging the person to activate themselves are essential actions throughout the process. We must also think about ourselves, since we cannot help anyone if we are not in our full capacities. Trying to improve someone’s life without improving our own first will make all our effort and performance a sterile process of results.

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