Most of us have gone through a time in our lives when we have felt like we are falling, that we feel like we are falling. we descend without being able to avoid it down a bottomless pit ; In situations like this we are terrified of reaching the end, hitting rock bottom and not knowing if we can get out, if there will be a way out or if we will have the strength left to try to overcome the situation.
These situations are accompanied by a lot of anguish, a strong feeling that we have no control over anything and that we chain misfortunes and disappointments.
It is not unusual for someone to come to a psychologist’s office explaining these situations and asking for help to get out. Given that, it is not so important whether what led to the descent was your decisions or not knowing how to react to events in your life, and it is important to accept that you have hit rock bottom and From there, reflect on your current situation and look up.
As we fall, the fear, the prejudices, the emotional exhaustion are so strong that we see no option but to try again and again to hold on to anything, and everything seems better than hitting the bottom.
It happens that, in those situations, The best thing that can happen to you is precisely that which causes the most fear. Bottom. Let me explain to you why.
An apparent paradox
While you fall you are suffering from the situations you are experiencing because you do not know how you have been dragged by them, for not finding solutions, or for the attempts that time and again have been frustrating and have not helped you… But When you hit rock bottom and recognize yourself there, you acquire a different perspective.
As you fall you feel the vertigo of seeing how you are moving away from the exit; From below you gain the peace of mind of understanding that you have already fallen, that you cannot fall any further and that you have the option of staying there or thinking about how you get out. Only when you really hit rock bottom can you go up.
They are two equally valid options. In fact, neither of the two guarantees that you will stop suffering or that these situations will not occur again, but only the second implies become aware of your real situation and the decision and commitment to get out of it and regain control of everything. It is then when we begin to realize everything that is in our power to rise again and not fall again, and that is where we focus.
The problem, seen from therapy
When I am in session and a patient asks me about this fall to the bottom, we recreate it, we experience that situation of helplessness and I invite him to stay there for as long as necessary. These kinds of procedures help us accept ourselves, understand how we got there and forgive ourselves for it.
It is then that the patient becomes aware that hitting rock bottom is not the worst thing that can happen, The worst thing is to do it and not understand what that situation means to us.
It is a stage of mourning in which, if we decide to go through it, we can emerge stronger and with the necessary strength and conviction to begin the ascent.
No climb is easy and sometimes you fall a few meters again, but having that happen is part of learning and every time you regain momentum you make it stronger and more confident in your possibilities.
It is very difficult to make significant and lasting changes without hitting rock bottom, We condemn ourselves to deceive ourselves by thinking that it has already happened, that it has been a streak, that the “patch” has worked… And it is easier for us to accommodate and excuse ourselves than to take control of the problems. And problems end up dragging us down.
Psychologists work on that symbology and accompany them in the fall. The “darkness” of knowing that you can’t go down any further allows you to put your feet on the ground and from there decide how and when you want to gain momentum and start climbing. You feel frustration, rage, anger and all the emotions that rush and invade you. We give you the space to feel them and let them flow, until they disappear and you feel free and determined to climb, without burdens or false evaluations or expectations.
How far you go will depend on you, your responsibility and your desire to transform and change things to be where you want to be.
We will often stop on that climb, so that you can look down and see how much you have climbed and how you have learned to hold on, to enjoy recognition of the steps you have taken to look up again and decide the next steps and how they take you to that summit, that end of the tunnel that is your goal.
You can overcome yourself and achieve it. Once you decide to go up, the most important change you have already made and it is in you.
In conclusion…
We all have the right to hit rock bottom and all rock bottoms have an end. When you go down, when you hit rock bottom, and when you go up I accompany you.
“Hitting rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” (JK Rowling).
