How To Improve Communication When Starting To Live Together As A Couple?

How to improve communication when living together as a couple

In relationships there is something called the “honeymoon phase”, that stage in which everything seems perfect and magical. Then everyday life catches up to us and things become more real. When you decide to share your home with someone special, this transition becomes even more evident, but hey, that doesn’t mean this is a bad thing. In fact, Coexistence usually brings with it new challenges and opportunities for the bond to be strengthened.

While the butterflies in your stomach from that initial stage may subside, the need to understand each other becomes key. For this reason, we will share with you some strategies to improve communication once you and your partner decide to live together.

Most common problems when living with your partner

Living together in a relationship marks a before and after for the couple. In fact, if we make the comparison, it is as if it were the beginning of a new season of the series of your life. As expected, This new beginning also brings with it several challenges, and one of the most common is the difficulty in communicating effectively.

Couples often assume that they know each other so well that they don’t need to talk out loud about what they think or how they feel, which can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. Furthermore, when there are very dissimilar communication styles (for example, being very direct or very reserved), it is natural that there will be friction.

Another common problem is the lack of quality time. Between work, home and day-to-day responsibilities, finding moments to truly connect with our partner can be complex. And, you know what happens: when relationships are not watered, they usually wither.

When you start living with your partner, the distribution of household tasks also tends to be a source of conflict. Different expectations about who should do what and the feeling that one person carries more responsibilities than the other can create some tension and even resentment.

Finally, jealousy and insecurity cannot be left out. Although these feelings can arise at any stage of the relationship, they tend to intensify during cohabitation. The need to reaffirm each other’s love and fears of loss can generate conflict and damage mutual trust.

It is evident that all this can imply that there will be a large number of challenges to solve and difficulties to go through. But the important thing is that by speaking clearly, assertively, honestly and respectfully it is possible to overcome them.

Coexistence as a couple: How to communicate better?

We already saw that good communication is essential when starting to live with the person you love. The question is: how to start growing it? Here are some strategies that you can apply now:

Validate your partner

Validating your partner does not mean agreeing, it means, rather, that you recognize him or her. This is, then, letting him know that his feelings are legitimate, regardless of whether or not you share his perspective.

By validating your partner’s emotions and ideas, you begin to create a safe space where you can both express yourself without fear of being judged. So, what greater peace of mind than knowing that you are understood, understood and respected by the person you love?

Speak from your feelings, not from the attack

Instead of blaming or attacking your partner, focus your messages on how you feel. When you share your emotions with your partner clearly and respectfully, they are more likely to listen to you and understand your point of view.

For example, instead of saying, “You never take out the trash and I always hate having to,” you could say, “I get really frustrated when the trash piles up because I wish the house was cleaner. I need your support with this.” By speaking from your feelings, you encourage a constructive and less reactive dialogue.

Actively listen

When your partner talks to you, focus on what he or she is saying, without interrupting or making judgments. Show your interest in what they tell you by asking open-ended questions and paraphrasing what you’ve heard so they know you’re paying attention to what they’re saying.

Active listening not only strengthens the emotional connection, but also allows you to better understand your partner and their needs. Listening is not only hearing the words, but also capturing the feelings and emotions behind them.

Express your gratitude

Gratitude strengthens bonds, regardless of their nature. By expressing your gratitude to your partner, you acknowledge their efforts and contributions to the relationship. This simple yet powerful practice creates an environment of positivity.

By thanking, you are watering a plant of well-being in which both you and your partner benefit from the act of kindness and recognition, which will greatly help coexistence.

Talk openly about the status of the relationship

Having honest and open conversations about the state of your relationship allows you to identify strengths, areas of opportunity and possible obstacles. In fact, by speaking openly, they prevent small problems from turning into big conflicts.

It is super important to keep in mind that the objective of these conversations is not to find blame, but to find joint solutions. By doing so, they demonstrate commitment and a genuine desire to improve the relationship, which undoubtedly improves coexistence.

Share without distractions

In the age of technology, it is more important than ever to spend quality time communicating without distractions. By spending time together without interruptions, you demonstrate mutual respect and a genuine commitment to the relationship.

These moments of deep connection allow you to share your thoughts, feelings, and dreams in a more authentic way. Besides, By speaking without distractions, they strengthen their capacity for active listening, which is essential for effective communication that allows them to have a more enjoyable coexistence.

Remember that, to improve communication within a couple, it is important that both parties are involved and that they understand that, to achieve this transformation, it is necessary to be patient in the process.


  • Emily Psychology

    I’m Emily Williams Jones, a psychologist specializing in mental health with a focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. With a Ph.D. in psychology, my career has spanned research, clinical practice and private counseling. I’m dedicated to helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression and trauma by offering a personalized, evidence-based approach that combines the latest research with compassionate care.