How To Learn To Listen In A Conversation In 5 Steps
Much of our daily life is based on communication. We could not have the standards of quality of life that we have if it were not because we live in society. However, sometimes we forget that we also have to contribute something to this formula. For communication to flow, it is important to learn to truly listen.
After all, we all know how to sit still while the other person talks, but truly participating in a conversation requires the ability to stay active even when the other person has the floor.
In this article we will focus on reviewing different tips about how to learn to listen in the conversations we have with friends, family and loved ones in general.
Being good at listening to others is an underrated virtue in many ways. But if it is mastered, it makes us much more skilled at forming links with others, as well as avoiding the appearance of misunderstandings. And let us remember that the quality and quantity of these links are something that defines our quality of life. Few people like to deal regularly with someone who ignores them while they talk.
So, consider the following tips when applying them to the conversations you participate in, even if in practice they look more like a monologue than a dialogue (There are times when a person needs to vent and be heard). Keep in mind that reading these ideas is not enough; You must apply them to your daily life constantly to get used to them, and adapt them to the characteristics of your life.
To begin with, it is good to keep your attention on what the other person’s non-verbal language and what they say between the lines tells us about them. the needs that move her to speak. Are you looking to be heard to explain an event that has had a strong emotional impact on you? Or do you just want to explain something so we can use that information to do something?
Depending on these needs, our participation in the conversation should be based more on listening, or on listening and speaking.
Of course, remember that no matter how good you think you are at “connecting” with others, you will never be able to know exactly what they think or feel at any given moment; Being aware of this improves our social skills, because it predisposes us to ask questions and not assume that we can anticipate everything our interlocutor does.
2. Maintain eye contact
Maintaining eye contact is one of the fundamental aspects of any face-to-face conversation. If this rule is not met, it not only creates a feeling of distance from the person with whom we are communicating; Furthermore, even misunderstandings may arise and failures when interpreting the thoughts and intentions of the other.
Therefore, even if you don’t speak, look the other person in the eye. If for some reason this is difficult for you, whether due to shyness or lack of habit, just look in the direction of his face. If you do this, without obsessing about establishing eye contact, it will surely come naturally to you and after a season using this technique you will no longer have to think about it.
Listening is not a waste of time nor is it less than talking; It is as or more important, in fact. So, don’t take these times as moments of rest in which you can do whatever you want. Because if you do, you will simply limit yourself to saying what you want to say and then disconnect, stop paying attention and dedicate yourself to fantasizing, mentally humming songs or remembering experiences.
With a few occasions when the other person notices that you are not giving them any attention, I might stop trying to talk to you.
Therefore, remember that the moments in which you do not speak and only listen require your attention and executive functions as much or more than those in which you express yourself through verbal language.
4. Practice active listening
You don’t just have to pay attention to what the other person tells you. Also, you have to let it be known that you are paying attention. In this way, the other person will have an incentive to talk as much as they want, without feeling restricted, and genuine communication will flow.
To achieve this, be sure to pace the conversation by nodding and clearly showing your reactions to what the other person says (with gestures or exclamations). You can also provide brief comments about what the other person is communicating, but without making them so long that they constitute an interruption. The idea is to complement each other’s efforts by explain yourself with your own efforts when communicating what we think about what you are saying.
A conversation is always something dynamic, largely improvised. Therefore, you too can contribute to making it meaningful, even as a listener, by asking simple questions or asking for clarification.
This way omissions of information will be compensated in which our interlocutor can fall simply for not having planned what he was going to say, at the same time that interest is shown or even the appearance of moments is facilitated in which doubts appear that no one had thought of before and that help to See the topic from another perspective.
