Love can be simple when two people share the same feelings and intensity, values, attitudes and beliefs, expectations and vision of the future, goals and plans, level of commitment… However, this does not happen in many cases and can occur. imbalances in the couple, because one of the members invests more time and resources, is more emotionally involved, etc. All of this can lead you to assume that your partner, boyfriend, or husband doesn’t care about you. If you are wondering “how to make my boyfriend love me more?”, keep reading this article from Psicología-Online: How to make my boyfriend love me more
My boyfriend doesn’t care about me
Do you have the feeling that your boyfriend doesn’t care about you anymore? If you often think “my boyfriend ignores me”, we offer you some keys to help you clarify the situation:
- Degree of intensity: certain components of love (such as the romantic component) cannot be shared equally by both members of the couple. That doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t care about you, but they may not care in the same way and intensity as you do.
- Your partner makes plans and decisions without you most of the time.
- Your partner doesn’t call or text you as often as he used to, you haven’t had a date or gone out to dinner in a while, you notice that he’s lost interest.
- Your partner is interested in your personal life, but not as much as you would like.
- The weight of the relationship falls on your shoulders. You take the initiative more often and make the most effort to get things done. Your boyfriend or husband behaves passively, settling into routines with little effort or imagination to do new things.
How to make your partner react
If you have seen the current situation with your partner reflected in any of the previous points, it is very possible that the relationship is not going as well as you thought and that there is something in it that is not working. At this moment, you are probably wondering: what can I do if my boyfriend doesn’t listen to me? Is it possible to break this dynamic? How can I make my partner react? Is it possible to go back to the point where the one that the relationship was going well?
The answer is that yes, it is possible, although this is achieved in a rather counterintuitive way: when a person moves away from us, a mechanism is activated in us by which we want to get them back. However, this will only push you further away.
On the contrary, if your partner is not trying hard enough and does not invest time and energy in you, increasing your efforts will not achieve it. How to make your boyfriend listen to you? The way to reverse the situation is to balance the scales That is, equating the time and resources invested to the same level. Thus, your partner will notice the cessation of attention and will wonder what is happening, which will bring him closer to you again, to recover what is no longer there.
In any case, an important clarification is that if your partner is not interested at all, he will not look for you again. If this is the case, it is not worth investing more time in something that will not last. Therefore, in any case, whether he reacts or not, this strategy will help you to elucidate your current situation, whether it is to reverse the situation, or to get out of the dead end and start something new.
How to make a man fall in love
How to make my boyfriend fall in love? Love is a complex experience in which a multitude of variables and nuances intervene. If each person is unique in the world, due to their personality, attitudes, beliefs, values, goals, etc., when they form a couple with another person, the possibilities are almost infinite. In this way, there are big differences between what we find attractive in a person, what catches our attention, and the characteristics we look for to have a long-term relationship. However, as far as men are concerned, there are a series of characteristics that they find very attractive in a woman.
- Independence An independent and self-confident woman attracts people and makes others perceive character and the energy you give off in you.
- Positivity Happiness is something that is transmitted and attracted. No one likes to be surrounded by taciturn, moody people who constantly complain. A positive person is an attractive person. In the following article you will find Exercises to learn to be positive.
- Sincerity Don’t talk bluntly, men like a woman who is confident in herself, who doesn’t need to give excessive thought to what she says and/or wants, so that she doesn’t have to guess what she wants.
- Allow Him to treat you well and help you Women are capable of many things and we can achieve whatever we set our minds to. Thus, you do not stop being an independent and confident woman just because she helps you. If she opens the car door for you, helps you with shopping bags, etc., chances are she’s not doing it out of feeling superior to you, but rather as a kind gesture, be grateful. As women, we don’t need a man to help us with almost anything, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun!
- Feel admiration for your partner and recognize their achievements. Contrary to what you may think, admiring our partner is not a sign of weakness; Men like us to know how to recognize their achievements, which does not put us in a position of weakness if we really feel that way. Letting him know that you value him appropriately means that you don’t feel intimidated by the achievements of others.
- Femininity Men like feminine women, who take care of themselves, who stay healthy. That doesn’t necessarily have to do with physical attractiveness: it’s an attitude.
How to make my boyfriend love me more
How to make my husband love me? First of all, it is important to clarify that, if he has no interest in you, he is not in love, he does not reach a minimum level of emotional involvement with you, all your efforts to advance the relationship will be in vain. If he doesn’t react, he is more, he even walks away, don’t try anymore: he is not the person for you. Do not invest your time in someone who does not belong to you, because that time that is gone will not return. Instead, he devotes your energies and attentions to someone who is willing to do the same for you In the long run, you will see that it was for the best.
On the other hand, if according to your criteria, your partner does feel or has felt the same way about you and there are possibilities of recovering the relationship, below, we offer you some guidelines that will help you “reset” the relationship, and promote positive emotions. in the couple.
How to make my partner love me more?: 25 tips
If you want to know how to make your boyfriend love you more, keep reading the following tips:
- Make your life interesting , not only for him, but also for yourself. The fact that a person does not miss you in the same way that you miss him could mean that you do not have many elements in your life with which to nourish yourself, learn, and enjoy; If your partner receives the entire weight of your happiness, this is not healthy.
- Step by Step In all relationships there are times to respect, especially in relationships. For love to emerge and crystallize, it is important not to rush and want to burn through stages: they are all important and contribute to forging a solid relationship.
- Work on your self-concept A typical mistake made by women is asking about their physical appearance in a negative way. Asking him if he sees you as fat or ugly puts you in a position of weakness, where you need external validation to feel good about yourself. If he’s with you, chances are he likes you the way you are. Don’t be so critical of yourself, beauty is not unique, it is very varied, and all women are beautiful, in our own way.
- Respect their space and do not act intrusively. In a healthy relationship, moments of separation are necessary so that you can reconnect with renewed energy.
- Don’t act desperate and constantly trying to get his attention, you will only drive him further away.
- Be cautious with social networks Don’t give away too much information about yourself and your relationships on social media. They should not be demonized, but there are many negative consequences that they also entail. Constant updates about your sentimental status (single, in a relationship, dating someone, it’s complicated, etc.), hints to your partner or ex-partner, constant details about your personal life, etc. They are counterproductive, throw out unnecessary information, and make you look like an insecure person who needs constant validation.
- Prioritize yourself Never cancel your plans because he is available, keep your private life and your circle of friends.
- Don’t force meetings Simply because you want to see him, he will perceive it as an imposition and it will not contribute to the relationship moving forward naturally. Let there be times when he takes the initiative.
- Don’t extend appointments indefinitely If you have established a plan, stick to it. If you go to the cinema, after the movie you can go have something to drink. But going to the movies, having a drink, having dinner together, having drinks, spending the night together, having breakfast, etc. It is not the most recommended in most cases. If you use up all the cartridges in one appointment, you don’t have room for more.
- Control the amount of information and revelations you make about yourself, especially at the beginning. Giving too many explanations about our lives and our privacy can cause your partner to become overwhelmed with details and lose interest.
- It evokes positive feelings in him Generally, we do not like to be with people who are moody, who constantly complain and who see the negative side of everything. This also happens in relationships, we tend to bond with people who give us positive energy.
- Listen to him when he talks to you Knowing how to listen is a great and highly valued virtue, which will also strengthen your bond.
- Keep calm and don’t rush. It is very common, especially among women, that when we like a man we want to go very quickly. However, they tend to have a slower pace when it comes to bonding.
- Be assertive , don’t talk to him with hints. Men are not usually so subtle in this regard and often do not understand them. He will appreciate it if you talk to him honestly. In the following article you will find Techniques to develop assertiveness.
- Act proactively Men like determined women, who are self-confident and know what they want.
- Give your honest opinion about the topics you talk about. Sometimes, out of wanting to please their partner, many people make the mistake of agreeing with everything and assenting to what they are told. Show him that you have your own personality and criteria, he will value it very positively. As Sigmund Freud said: “If two people always think the same thing, one thinks for both.”
- Try not to make him wait when you meet him, above all, on purpose. There is a belief that women should make men wait on dates; This is very old, be a modern woman, we live in the era of feminism and equality. Value his time and don’t make him wait, if you know it’s going to take a little longer, let him know so he can also take advantage of his time. Don’t tell him the famous phrase “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes” if it’s not true.
- Rejoice in their triumphs , you are not his rival. Sharing joys will also strengthen your bond.
- Find moments of privacy it is important to invest in the relationship and that the time you spend together are quality moments.
- Accept if you have any details with you and thank him. Even if it’s not exactly what you were expecting, be grateful for the detail and keep in mind that he or she has thought of you.
- Don’t constantly talk to him about your ex It’s not about hiding your past and acting as if he were the first man in your life. But constantly mentioning him, talking about how he behaved, the places you frequented together, comparing how he is similar and/or different, etc. It’s very negative, uncomfortable, and can be perceived as if you’re still not over the relationship.
- Avoid uncomfortable comments Commenting on other men’s physical attractiveness is uncomfortable and inappropriate. Making him feel like he occupies second place is not recommended. Reserve these types of comments for meetings with your friends, you may laugh, but don’t do it in front of him. You wouldn’t want him to act like that either.
- Don’t let him pay for everything It’s okay for him to invite you sometimes, appreciate the gesture, but don’t expect him to always do it and offer to pay too. Show him that what matters to you is his person and his company, not his checking account.
- Be yourself Following the advice we give you on how to make your boyfriend love you more is important, but even more so is knowing how to adapt them to your way of being, thinking and feeling. Don’t overact, don’t become someone who you are not. In a long-term relationship, your true self will come out. Do you really want to have a relationship at the expense of being true to yourself? Consider it.
- And you? Finally, if you constantly need attention from your boyfriend or a man in general, it is recommended that you analyze it. Sometimes, being immersed in a dysfunctional relationship, or more importantly, having linked several dysfunctional relationships, could be indicating that you should work on some aspect of your life. If this is the case, put the focus on yourself, if you are not happy with something that is happening in your life, a relationship with a man is not going to make up for these shortcomings. To be well in a relationship, first you have to be good with yourself
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to make my boyfriend love me more we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.
Bibliography
Brenner, A. (2007). Women’s rites of passage: how to embrace change and celebrate life. Rowman & Littlefield.