I sense that, if you have come to this article, it is because You have just ended your relationship and you feel that the loss overcomes you
If this is your case, do not despair; Everything in life has a solution. Here you will find some essential keys that allow you to overcome this grief you are going through.
How do you feel after having ended your relationship?
Below I explain some of the most characteristic feelings and emotions that you may be experiencing.
1. Uncertainty
It is very likely that having ended your relationship, you feel very uncertain. This It is something natural, since for a long time you have counted on that special person to support you in the most complex moments of your life
2. Low Self-esteem
It is very understandable that at this time your perception of yourself has been compromised and that you feel that your physical and personal attributes, even though they are the same, are not enough.
3. Obsession
You spend the entire day with intrusive thoughts who throw all kinds of scenarios and statements at you about your past relationship, the uncertain future, your capabilities, what you could have done to prevent the relationship from ending…
4. Deep sadness
You feel a deep sadness lodged in the chest area that does not seem to want to go away and that accompanies you in most moments of your life.
Fear and uncertainty about the uncertain future generate a feeling of constant overwhelm that doesn’t let you breathe easily while doing your daily tasks.
6. Jealousy
You can still see your ex-partner’s different social networks and every photo or story that appears gives you the feeling that he has it much more over you than you and that he has already started having relationships with other people again.
7. Self-rejection
You feel that if you had done things differently, he or she would still be with you You begin to judge yourself more harshly for everything you did “wrong.” In short, you reject yourself quite frequently, thus further undermining your self-esteem and thereby increasing all the previous symptoms (obsession, sadness and anxiety).
Keys to overcome your breakup
After reading all these symptoms that you probably identify with, it is very likely that you will be more aware of the grieving process you are going through. I ask you not to despair since everything in this life has a solution and in the following lines I am going to explain a series of keys and strategies that you can begin to follow from this very moment to be able to overcome this breakup that you are experiencing and that has caused you so much suffering. causes.
1. Lean on your closest environment
It is very important that, to overcome uncertainty, you find one or two people in your immediate environment whom you can fully trust, not only to be able to express how you feel, but also to lean on them in relation to your future decisions, your moments. more delicate…
It is essential that you do exercises aimed at improving your self-esteem. Next, I am going to give you a good example of a daily task that you can do in order to increase your self-esteem.
The exercise is intended to help you love your entire physique without buts The first thing you should do is stand in front of the mirror without makeup, without having combed your hair… And for 3 minutes on the clock (you can set a countdown), you are going to look at yourself with all the affection you feel capable of. You don’t have to say anything or do anything specific. Simply observe yourself and, every time a judgment appears, question it from the point of love for yourself. Once the countdown ends, you are going to look yourself in the eyes again and say out loud “I accept you just the way you are.”
3. Question your obsessions
As we have expressed previously, obsessions are one of your worst day-to-day enemies. Therefore, it is necessary that you learn to question these obsessions every time they appear.
The proposal I make to you, thanks to the method of the American psychologist Byron Katie, is that every time a repetitive and toxic thought appears for you at this time, you can simply ask yourself three questions; and after answering these two questions, try to give you examples that invalidate the initial thought For example:
4. Learn to regulate your sadness and anxiety
Learning to regulate and manage our emotions is easier than it may seem. Like everything in this life, it is a matter of practice and perseverance. A fairly effective sequence to sustain an emotion is the following: scan your body for a physical sensation that stands out Once you locate it, give it a name (sadness, rage, fear, anxiety, anger…).
Next, simply observe that emotion in the form of a physical sensation and see how it transforms, how it moves in the space of your body, what new sensations it transmits to you… And you simply accept and welcome this sensation until that little by little it decreases and finally disappears.
5. Manage your jealousy
It is very normal that if you continue seeing your ex-partner’s social networks, jealousy may arise. That is why I suggest that, especially in the first weeks, you try to completely eliminate your ex-partner’s profiles from your feed. Controlling impulses that can lead you to check their stories, new posts… Even a resource that can be quite effective is to ask the other person to block us until we ask them to stop doing so again.
6. Accept your new reality
Finally, it is essential that you manage to do an exercise in accepting your new reality. It is clear that this situation is not what you expected or what you want. It is also very logical to understand that every loss in life involves a necessary mourning. But If you continue to cling to the idea that this is not the reality you want, the frustration and suffering that is generated is very great
For this reason, I strongly invite you to try to assume and accept that the person who accompanied you until now no longer does so and that does not mean that you will stop being happy or enjoying many other things in your life.
