How to Prioritize Our Mental Health When Managing a Grieving Process?

In moments of psychological grief, normally triggered by the loss of a relationship with a loved one (whether due to a breakup or the death of that person), it is easy to fall into a dynamic of self-harming behaviors and abandonment of self-care tasks in general.

However, turn the page and Overcoming this stage of grief involves putting one’s own mental health back at the top of our priorities, thus breaking the vicious circle of self-sabotage generated by discomfort and that feeling of intense melancholy. Here we will see some guidelines to achieve this.

What is grief?

Grief is a psychological process that people go through. after suffering the loss, usually from a loved one, whether it be a family member, a close friend or a pet. In most situations it is a normal experience linked to an experience that naturally generates discomfort, and should not be seen as a disorder; Only in some cases, if not well managed, grief becomes pathological.

Since not all people are the same, The intensity and discomfort of the grieving processes vary depending on each person mainly on the personal characteristics of the person who suffers from it and the level of attachment they had with the deceased person.

Although grief occurs when a loved one dies, this psychological phenomenon can also be triggered in a multitude of daily life situations, such as the loss or change of a job, a love breakup or a process of emigration to another country.

What are the phases of grief?

Health professionals have been studying the grieving process for decades and have come to the conclusion that most people go through five very specific phases or stages.

It is important in this regard to keep in mind that not all phases always occur successively and that not everyone goes through each of them. These are general trends.

Below we present the main phases of grief, as identified by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.

1. Denial

The first phase of grief consists of not believing that the loss has occurred or in not being able to perceive said loss as something real that has happened to us.

In the first stages of the grieving process, it is common for many people to have a situation of unreality that prevents them from accepting what happened, as if they were experiencing the event outside of themselves or being spectators of a movie or television series.

In addition to that, denial can also manifest as a blockage or freezing of emotions, in such a way that the affected person is unable to express what they feel or does not want to express any of their feelings.

2. Anger

After the denial, One of the first feelings that emerge in people is anger for the pain felt, as well as the frustration and helplessness of having lost that loved person.

Often this anger can be directed at a third person, who is blamed for the loss, or towards oneself, in which case the person experiences a spiral of anger towards themselves, pain and desolation.

3. Negotiation

In the negotiation phase, the person begins to realize the reality of what happened and begins a process of internal reflection in which Weigh the possible options to solve the problem.

In most cases, the problem has no solution and the only thing that almost always happens is that the person continues to suffer, as may be the case in cases of terminal illnesses or in cases of permanent couple breakups.

4. Depression

In the depression phase is when all the negative feelings of loss are fully experienced, once this is already conceived as a fait accompli.

The person mainly experiences feelings of grief, desolation, social isolation, pain, nostalgia and loss of interest in everything that surrounds your life in general.

The intensity of these feelings can vary from one person to another depending on their particular characteristics and personality.

5. Acceptance

The last phase is acceptance and occurs when the person reaches a state of peace produced by the rational and emotional understanding that death is a natural phenomenon as natural as life.

This phase is the culmination of the grieving process and when it is reached it can be concluded. Acceptance is associated with a state of well-being and a feeling of liberation from all the pain and suffering experienced during the process.

How can we prioritize our mental health when managing grief?

Below are some tips for dealing with grief from taking care of your own mental health, based on decades of study by psychology and health professionals.

1. Request sick leave

People who have gone through or are going through a grieving process they need time to rest and it is recommended that during this period stressful or anxiety-generating situations such as work be avoided at all costs.

Asking for time off from work to have a few days of personal care is a way to disconnect for a while and be able to go through grief in the best way possible. Psychological problems are a legitimate reason for missing work, although this must be done through the appropriate channels within the labor relations policies contemplated.

It is common for some people to feel guilty when they stop working but this must be overcome in pursuit of personal well-being.

2. Perform a symbolic farewell act

Allowing ourselves to carry out a symbolic act of farewell to our loved one is of great support on a psychological level, since it allows us to remember the person who has left us and express everything we feel in a final goodbye.

The symbolic farewell action must adjust to our needs, beliefs or principles and even if only we do it, it will be a good way to say goodbye and have a good memory in the future.

These types of celebrations help us symbolically close the cycle we are going through and allow us to successfully overcome the grieving process.

3. Seek support from others

Seeking support from other people in the most difficult moments is the best way to overcome grief, as is offer our support to those people who are suffering just like us.

The grieving process is a time when people must help each other, whether they are family or friends, and which no one should face alone.

In addition to that, helping other people who are going through the same situation as us will make us feel better and help us speed up the grieving process.

4. Fill out a personal diary

Fill out a personal diary to better understand what we feel It will allow us to know ourselves better and have enough data to begin the healing process to feel better.

Psychological professionals recommend writing in detail everything we feel when we are having a hard time, a process that in itself has very important therapeutic effects.

5. Go to psychotherapy

If the intense discomfort continues in a way that causes us problems, going to psychotherapy is the best way to begin to overcome the grieving process.

A psychology professional specialized in this type of case It will provide us with all kinds of very useful knowledge and practical strategies that we can use in our daily lives to successfully complete the duel.

6. Follow a sleep schedule

Following a stable sleep schedule during the weeks or months after the loss we have experienced will help us sleep better during this period of discomfort.

Having a stable and restful sleep is of great help to successfully overcome this type of process, since emotional and psychological imbalances often affect the quality of sleep.