Lying is one of the facts that produces the most frustration in personal relationships. However, the deception that hurts us the most is the one we impose on ourselves for afraid to open your eyes to reality. You live with yourself twenty-four hours a day, for this reason, when you condition yourself with a distorted vision of reality you walk on unstable ground. This is what happens, for example, in the false hopes of unrequited love. At PsychologyFor we answer this question: How to stop deceiving yourself? We help you face the truth of a situation that is difficult for you to accept as it is but that generates so much psychological wear and tear.
Observe reality. No matter how hard you try to make things be a certain way, you cannot impose your will on the flow of reality itself. That means that on more than one occasion, if you are experiencing a situation of this type, you are going to suffer the pain and bitterness of the constant breaking of expectations. Simply because reality imposes its own voice.
“Hope is the worst of evils because it prolongs the torment of man” a message from Friedrich Nietzsche. This reflection applied to the specific context of false hopes is totally true. Since it prolongs the agony of those who wait for something that never comes. Therefore, although hope is a feeling very positive, there comes a time when, in a certain context, it loses its meaning. That is, if a situation makes you suffer on a recurring basis, perhaps you should reflect on a change of attitude.
Listen to the advice of others. Reality does not end with your point of view. Those people who know you and your situation observe external details that can complement your own perspective. You may find it uncomfortable to hear certain words, however, beyond the discomfort, try to observe what truth there is in those observations that come from people who do not want to disappoint you for no reason.
Maturity. Life is not always fair and you don’t always get what you set out to do. From this realistic premise, it assumes reality as it is. Assuming means having the maturity to accept a situation that breaks with one’s own personal desire.
Stop telling stories to yourself, stop adorning reality with subjective details. Describe the objective reasons that have brought you to this situation. To do this, do not focus on interpretations but on how things have been in an observable way.
What excuses do you make? When we are victims of self-deception we make excuses to justify a reality that is not such. For this reason, a step that will allow you to move forward is to identify what justification you give yourself to continue at this point.
Try to distance yourself from that issue. Try to put it out of your mind for a few days. Take a trip, for example. Occupy your time on other matters. Why is this distance so important? Because it helps you gain emotional objectivity.
Cry if you need to Let off steam. But do not postpone disappointment for fear of facing that reality since the more you postpone a certain event, the more you suffer.
Look in the mirror with satisfaction. Keep your gaze on that image. You deserve to be honest with yourself.
What are your beliefs? For example, some people deceive themselves when faced with a reality because they place their own value on their external results. In that case, change your beliefs since you are a being immense in dignity regardless of whether failure or heartbreak comes into your life.
It is important that you know who you are and what you want from life, so in this other PsychologyFor article we give you some tips so you can learn to find yourself.
Avoid the suffering of self-deception
It seems a paradox but, curiously, he who deceives himself puts on a protective shield against a reality that hurts However, the truth is that suffering is not born from reality itself, but from this self-deception. That is, what you resist.
There is a important difference between pain and suffering. News can cause you the natural pain of disappointment. However, suffering is the repeated attitude you adopt when you refuse to move forward. From a metaphorical point of view, self-deception is similar to stumbling over the same stone a thousand times. You need to broaden your gaze to identify what lies beyond that black dot.
You deserve to be honest with yourself. You deserve to give yourself this act of love towards yourself. Let go of all the possible futures that keep you tied to false hopes. Let go of the “what if?” that produces an effect of doubt in your mind. It is evident that the future is yet to be written However, generally, there is a coherence between present and future. Therefore, if in the present you have many clues that tell you that a situation is not possible, that is not going to change simply by magic.
How to confront a situation of self-deception and accept the truth
It is positive to fall into personal exhaustion in a situation of this type. It is important that put self-love into practice of wanting to stop being in this situation that only brings you suffering. These false hopes only produce slight mirages of joy, compared to the burden of the tons of disappointment that you experience every day. Therefore, face the situation as soon as possible.
If, for example, you have long wanted to know how a person feels about you because doubt only makes you suffer, consider taking the initiative. How to stop deceiving yourself? Making a act of bravery and assuming the consequences because nothing is as painful as the self-deception that leads you to lose your leading role in your own life.
Can be happy although what you long for so much does not occur. This is the learning that you will discover if you give yourself the opportunity to turn the page.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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