Is it Self-esteem or Pride?

Standing in front of the mirror after a successful presentation, you feel good about yourself. You handled the questions well, your preparation paid off, and you can see the positive impact you made. But then a nagging voice whispers: “Aren’t you being prideful? Shouldn’t you be more humble?” Or perhaps the opposite happens—someone compliments your work, and instead of accepting it gracefully, you deflect and minimize your achievement because you’ve been taught that acknowledging your strengths is arrogant. This internal conflict between recognizing your worth and avoiding perceived arrogance is something I encounter constantly in my practice, and it reveals a widespread confusion about the difference between healthy self-esteem and problematic pride.

The distinction between self-esteem and pride matters profoundly because mistaking one for the other can lead you down very different psychological paths. If you believe that feeling good about yourself equals pride, you might suppress genuine self-worth and accomplishment, leading to low self-esteem disguised as humility. Conversely, if you confuse pride with healthy self-esteem, you might develop an inflated sense of superiority that damages relationships and prevents personal growth. I’ve worked with people on both ends of this spectrum: those who apologize for their existence because they’ve been taught that any self-regard is sinful pride, and those who mistake arrogance for confidence and wonder why their relationships keep failing.

Our culture sends wildly mixed messages about self-worth. We’re told to “love yourself” and “know your worth,” but also warned against being “full of yourself” or “thinking you’re better than others.” Religious and cultural teachings often emphasize humility while cautioning against pride, but these messages rarely include clear guidance about where healthy self-regard fits into this framework. Children grow up confused about whether they should celebrate their achievements or downplay them, whether acknowledging their strengths makes them conceited or confident. This confusion follows us into adulthood, creating internal conflict every time we accomplish something or receive recognition.

What makes this distinction even trickier is that both self-esteem and pride involve positive feelings about yourself. The difference lies not in the feelings themselves but in their foundation, expression, and impact on your life and relationships. Healthy self-esteem rests on an internal, stable sense of worth that doesn’t require constant validation or comparison with others. Pride, particularly in its problematic forms, depends on being superior to others and requires external validation to maintain itself. Understanding where you fall on this spectrum isn’t about judging yourself as good or bad—it’s about recognizing patterns that might be holding you back from genuine confidence and authentic relationships. The goal isn’t to eliminate all pride or inflate self-esteem artificially, but to develop what psychologists call “secure self-esteem” that allows you to acknowledge both your strengths and limitations with honesty and grace.

Defining Self-Esteem and Its Healthy Expressions

Self-esteem, in its healthiest form, represents your overall sense of personal worth and the degree to which you accept yourself as fundamentally valuable. It’s not about thinking you’re perfect or better than others—it’s about believing you have intrinsic worth as a human being, independent of your achievements, appearance, or others’ opinions. People with healthy self-esteem can acknowledge their strengths without arrogance and recognize their weaknesses without self-loathing.

Healthy self-esteem has several key characteristics that distinguish it from both low self-worth and inflated pride. First, it’s relatively stable. Your sense of worth doesn’t dramatically fluctuate based on daily successes or failures. You can have a bad day at work without concluding you’re worthless, and you can succeed without believing you’re superior to everyone else. This stability comes from basing your self-worth on who you are rather than what you do or what others think of you.

Second, healthy self-esteem allows for genuine self-acceptance. This means acknowledging your limitations and mistakes without excessive shame or defensiveness. When you have solid self-esteem, you can say “I made a mistake” without spiraling into “I am a mistake.” You recognize that imperfection is part of being human, not evidence of fundamental unworthiness. This self-acceptance paradoxically makes growth easier because you’re not defending against the reality of your current limitations.

Third, healthy self-esteem fosters what psychologists call “self-compassion”—treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a good friend. When you struggle or fail, self-compassion allows you to comfort yourself rather than attack yourself. You recognize that everyone struggles, and your difficulties don’t make you uniquely flawed or unworthy. This compassionate stance toward yourself creates psychological safety that enables risk-taking and resilience.

Fourth, genuine self-esteem doesn’t require comparison or competition. You can feel good about your abilities without needing to be better than others. You can appreciate others’ success without feeling threatened. This non-comparative stance reflects security in your own worth that doesn’t depend on relative positioning. You understand that someone else’s shine doesn’t diminish your own.

Healthy self-esteem also manifests in your behavior and relationships. People with solid self-esteem set appropriate boundaries, assert their needs without aggression, and accept others’ boundaries with grace. They can give and receive compliments naturally. They pursue goals that matter to them rather than constantly seeking external validation. They take responsibility for their actions without excessive guilt or blame-shifting. In relationships, they can be vulnerable and authentic because they’re not desperately trying to maintain a perfect image.

The foundation of healthy self-esteem typically develops in childhood through experiences of unconditional positive regard—being valued for who you are, not just what you achieve. Children who receive consistent love, appropriate praise for effort rather than just outcomes, and acceptance of their full range of emotions typically develop more secure self-esteem. However, even if you didn’t receive these experiences as a child, you can develop healthy self-esteem through intentional work in adulthood.

Pride and Its Various Forms

Pride is more complex than simple definitions suggest, and understanding its different forms helps clarify when it’s healthy versus problematic. Authentic pride, or what psychologists sometimes call “achievement pride,” represents a healthy response to genuine accomplishment. When you work hard toward a goal and achieve it, feeling proud is appropriate and psychologically beneficial. This type of pride motivates continued effort, reinforces positive behaviors, and contributes to healthy self-esteem.

Authentic pride has specific characteristics. It’s connected to specific achievements or behaviors rather than being a global sense of superiority. You feel proud of what you did, not of being inherently better than others. This pride includes awareness of the effort, skill development, and sometimes luck involved in your success. It acknowledges that your achievement doesn’t diminish others or make you more valuable as a person—it simply reflects something you accomplished.

Hubristic pride, in contrast, represents the problematic form that most warnings about pride address. This is pride based on an inflated sense of superiority, entitlement, and self-importance that’s disconnected from actual achievements. Hubristic pride says “I’m better than others” rather than “I worked hard and succeeded.” It requires maintaining an image of superiority, which often involves defensiveness, blame-shifting, and putting others down to elevate yourself.

Hubristic pride correlates with narcissistic traits, aggression, and interpersonal problems. People displaying this type of pride struggle with genuine intimacy because relationships require vulnerability and equality, both of which threaten their superior self-image. They can’t tolerate criticism or failure because these experiences contradict their inflated self-concept. Rather than learning from mistakes, they deny them, blame others, or rationalize them away.

The roots of hubristic pride often lie in fragile self-esteem masked by grandiosity. Paradoxically, people with the most inflated pride frequently have the most unstable self-worth underneath. The grandiose self-image serves as protection against deep feelings of inadequacy or shame. This explains why people with hubristic pride react so strongly to perceived slights or challenges—their defensive pride is constantly working to maintain a fragile sense of worth.

Cultural pride represents another form worth mentioning. Taking pride in your heritage, community, achievements, or identity can be healthy when it involves appreciation without superiority. You can feel proud of your culture’s contributions while recognizing that all cultures have value. Problems arise when cultural pride becomes nationalism or ethnocentrism—the belief that your group is inherently superior to others.

Religious teachings about pride typically target the hubristic form. When scriptures warn against pride, they’re addressing the arrogant belief that you’re self-sufficient, superior to others, or don’t need humility or growth. These warnings aren’t advocating for self-hatred or denial of your legitimate worth and accomplishments—they’re cautioning against the type of pride that separates you from others and from reality about your limitations.

Group pride adds another layer of complexity. Feeling proud of a group you belong to—your family, team, organization, or nation—can foster connection and motivation. However, this becomes problematic when group pride leads to devaluing out-groups, refusing to acknowledge your group’s flaws, or believing your group’s success makes you personally superior despite your individual contributions being minimal.

Key Differences That Reveal What You’re Actually Experiencing

Several practical distinctions help you determine whether you’re experiencing healthy self-esteem or problematic pride. The first major difference lies in how you respond to criticism or failure. People with healthy self-esteem can hear feedback without becoming defensive or devastated. They can consider whether criticism has merit, learn from it if so, and dismiss it if not—all without their fundamental sense of worth being threatened. They view failure as information and opportunity for growth rather than evidence of worthlessness.

Those operating from problematic pride, however, react to criticism with intense defensiveness, anger, or counterattack. Feedback feels like a threat to their inflated self-image that must be rejected or deflected. Similarly, failure cannot be acknowledged honestly because it contradicts their superior self-concept. They might blame others, make excuses, or minimize the importance of what they failed at rather than accepting and learning from the experience.

The second key difference involves how you relate to others. Healthy self-esteem allows for genuine connection characterized by mutual respect and equality. You can be happy for others’ success without feeling threatened. You can listen to others’ perspectives without needing to prove yours is better. You value others’ contributions and feel comfortable both giving and receiving help. Relationships feel collaborative rather than competitive.

Problematic pride, conversely, creates hierarchical relationships where you need to maintain a superior position. You feel threatened by others’ success and might subtly (or not so subtly) diminish their achievements. Conversations become competitions about whose experiences or knowledge is more impressive. You struggle to ask for help because it suggests you’re not self-sufficient, and you might offer help in condescending ways that emphasize your superiority rather than genuinely supporting the other person.

The third distinction relates to your internal dialogue. With healthy self-esteem, your self-talk is generally kind and balanced. You acknowledge both strengths and weaknesses without harsh judgment. You encourage yourself through challenges like you would a friend. You can celebrate successes without either inflating or minimizing them. The overall tone is one of self-acceptance and compassion.

With problematic pride, internal dialogue often swings between grandiosity and harsh self-criticism. When things go well, you might inflate your role or importance. When things go poorly, you might either blame external factors to protect your ego or experience crushing self-judgment that reflects underlying fragile self-worth. There’s little middle ground—you’re either superior or worthless, with nothing in between.

The fourth difference concerns your motivation. Healthy self-esteem generates intrinsic motivation—you pursue goals because they align with your values and bring genuine satisfaction. You can enjoy the process, not just the outcome. You’re willing to engage in activities where you’re not the best because learning and engagement matter more than superiority.

Problematic pride relies primarily on extrinsic motivation—seeking achievements, recognition, and status to maintain your superior self-image and gain others’ admiration. Activities have value primarily based on how they enhance your image or status. You avoid situations where you might not excel because not being the best threatens your sense of superiority. The process becomes merely a means to the end of proving your worth or superiority.

The fifth key distinction involves how you handle success. With healthy self-esteem, you can acknowledge your achievements and feel good about them while recognizing factors beyond your control that contributed. You appreciate others who helped or supported you. Success feels satisfying but doesn’t define your worth. You remain grounded in the reality that this success doesn’t make you a superior person, just someone who achieved something specific.

With problematic pride, success becomes proof of your superiority. You might inflate your role while minimizing others’ contributions or luck’s role. Success feels desperately important because it validates your inflated self-image. You might become arrogant in success, using it to put others down or prove your superiority rather than simply enjoying the accomplishment.

The Psychology Behind Healthy Versus Fragile Self-Worth

Understanding the psychological mechanisms underlying self-esteem versus pride helps explain why they manifest so differently. Healthy self-esteem develops from what psychologists call “secure attachment” and unconditional positive regard. When children experience consistent love and acceptance that isn’t contingent on perfect behavior or achievement, they internalize the message that their worth is inherent. They learn that making mistakes, having limitations, or experiencing failure doesn’t threaten their fundamental lovability or value.

This secure foundation creates what’s called “trait self-esteem”—a stable, enduring sense of worth that doesn’t fluctuate dramatically with daily experiences. While everyone has temporary dips in how they feel about themselves, people with trait self-esteem bounce back relatively quickly because their core sense of worth remains intact. They’ve internalized the capacity to soothe and reassure themselves, having experienced it from caregivers.

Problematic pride often develops as a defensive response to underlying shame or inadequacy. When children experience conditional love—being valued only when they achieve, perform, or meet expectations—they learn that their worth is earned rather than inherent. Or when children face criticism, neglect, or abuse, they may develop deep shame about their fundamental self. Grandiose pride becomes a psychological defense against this unbearable shame, a way of saying “I’m not worthless; I’m actually superior.”

This defensive pride creates what’s called “fragile high self-esteem” or “contingent self-esteem.” On the surface, these individuals appear confident, even arrogant. But their positive self-view is unstable, requiring constant maintenance through achievements, others’ admiration, or superiority over others. Any threat to this inflated self-image triggers intense reactions because it activates the underlying shame they’re defending against.

Narcissistic personality patterns represent an extreme version of this dynamic. People with narcissistic traits developed exaggerated self-importance as a defense against profound early wounds to their self-worth. The grandiosity isn’t genuine confidence but rather a brittle mask protecting a fragile interior. This explains why narcissistic individuals react so strongly to criticism or anything that threatens their superior self-image—it’s not just current feedback they’re responding to, but the reactivation of early shame.

Cultural factors shape how self-esteem and pride develop and express themselves. Western, particularly American, culture tends to emphasize individual achievement, uniqueness, and standing out. This cultural context can fuel both healthy self-esteem (recognizing your individual worth and capabilities) and problematic pride (needing to be better than others to feel valuable). Eastern cultures often emphasize interdependence, harmony, and collective identity, which can support healthy self-esteem through belonging while potentially suppressing appropriate recognition of individual strengths.

Gender socialization creates different pathways too. Boys and men often receive messages that confidence should be displayed boldly, sometimes encouraging grandiosity over genuine self-esteem. They may be taught that admitting limitations or vulnerability threatens masculinity. Girls and women frequently receive opposite messages—be humble, don’t brag, support others’ success over your own. These gendered messages can lead men toward inflated pride and women toward diminished self-esteem, though individuals vary greatly.

The role of social comparison in maintaining either self-esteem or pride is crucial. People with healthy self-esteem can use social comparison as information without it threatening their worth. They might notice others’ strengths and use this to motivate their own growth, or they might simply appreciate others’ abilities without feeling diminished. Those operating from problematic pride, however, constantly engage in competitive social comparison, needing to identify how they’re superior to maintain their inflated self-image.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Healthy Self-Esteem

Developing genuine self-esteem when you haven’t had it before requires intentional practice and patience. The foundation lies in learning to separate your worth as a person from your performance, achievements, or others’ opinions. This is challenging in a culture that constantly links the two, but it’s essential for stable self-esteem. Start by identifying and challenging the voice that says you’re only valuable when you succeed, look a certain way, or gain others’ approval.

Practice self-compassion through specific techniques developed by researcher Kristin Neff. When you make a mistake or face difficulty, notice your self-critical thoughts and consciously shift to a kinder perspective. Ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” and then say those words to yourself. Recognize that struggle and imperfection are part of the shared human experience, not evidence of your unique inadequacy. Place your hand on your heart and offer yourself comfort during difficult moments, creating a physical anchor for self-compassion.

Work on accepting genuine compliments without deflecting or minimizing. When someone praises you, resist the urge to immediately dismiss it or redirect attention to them. Simply say “Thank you” and let yourself actually receive the positive feedback. This practice helps rewire your brain to accept positive regard rather than constantly batting it away, gradually building your capacity to recognize your own worth and contributions.

Develop awareness of your internal dialogue and actively work to make it more balanced. Notice when you engage in extreme thinking—”I’m the best” or “I’m the worst”—and practice finding more nuanced, realistic perspectives. You might think, “I did well on this project, and there are areas where I can improve” rather than either “I’m amazing” or “I’m terrible.” This balanced perspective reflects genuine self-esteem rather than inflated pride or harsh self-criticism.

Set boundaries and practice assertiveness, both of which reinforce healthy self-esteem. When you set boundaries, you’re communicating that your needs, feelings, and time have value. When you assert yourself appropriately—expressing your thoughts and needs without aggression or passivity—you reinforce that your voice matters. Each time you honor your own needs and limits, you strengthen the internal message that you’re worthy of respect and care.

Pursue intrinsic goals and values rather than chasing external validation. Identify what genuinely matters to you—not what should matter or what others value—and align your actions with these values. Engage in activities because they’re meaningful or enjoyable, not just because they’ll impress others or prove your worth. This shift from external to internal sources of value builds authentic self-esteem that isn’t dependent on others’ approval.

Challenge perfectionism by deliberately engaging in activities where you’re not naturally skilled. Take a class in something new where you’ll be a beginner. Allow yourself to be mediocre at hobbies you enjoy. Let others see you struggle or make mistakes without rushing to explain or apologize. These experiences teach you that your worth doesn’t depend on always being excellent, and they build tolerance for the discomfort of not being the best.

Build genuine connections by practicing vulnerability. Share struggles and uncertainties with trusted others rather than only presenting your polished, successful self. When you reveal imperfection and receive acceptance anyway, it powerfully reinforces that your worth doesn’t depend on being perfect. Authentic relationships where you’re valued for your whole self, not just your accomplishments, provide crucial support for healthy self-esteem.

Recognizing and Addressing Problematic Pride

If you suspect you might struggle more with problematic pride than low self-esteem, addressing it requires different strategies. The first step involves honest self-assessment, which is challenging because defensive pride makes acknowledging flaws difficult. Ask yourself: Do I frequently need to be right in discussions? Do I feel threatened by others’ success? Do I struggle to apologize or admit mistakes? Am I often comparing myself to others to prove I’m better? Do I react strongly to criticism, even when it’s constructive? Honest answers to these questions reveal whether pride might be limiting you.

Practice genuine humility, which doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. Shift attention from constant self-focus—how you’re performing, how others perceive you, whether you’re superior—to genuine interest in others and the situation at hand. When you catch yourself mentally comparing or competing, deliberately redirect your attention to curiosity about the other person’s experience or perspective.

Work on accepting criticism and feedback as information rather than threats. When you receive criticism, pause before reacting defensively. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Is there any truth in this feedback, even if it’s not pleasant to hear?” Practice saying “You might be right” or “I’ll think about that” instead of immediately explaining, justifying, or counterattacking. Over time, this practice reduces the automatic defensiveness that characterizes problematic pride.

Develop empathy and genuine interest in others by practicing active listening. When others speak, truly listen rather than waiting for your turn to share something more impressive. Ask follow-up questions that show interest in their experience. Celebrate others’ successes sincerely, recognizing that their achievements don’t diminish your worth. These practices gradually shift you from a competitive stance to one of connection and mutual respect.

Acknowledge and work with underlying insecurity rather than continuing to defend against it. Grandiose pride usually protects against deep-seated feelings of inadequacy or shame. Working with a therapist can help you face these underlying feelings in a safe environment, gradually building genuine self-worth that doesn’t require defending or proving. As you develop authentic self-esteem, the need for defensive pride naturally decreases.

Practice gratitude and appreciation for advantages and support you’ve received. Recognize that success involves not just your efforts but also circumstances, opportunities, and help from others. When you achieve something, explicitly acknowledge these contributing factors rather than attributing everything to your superior abilities. This practice keeps you grounded in reality and connected to others rather than isolated in grandiosity.

Seek feedback actively and thank people who provide it, even when it’s uncomfortable. Create a practice of asking trusted colleagues, friends, or family members for honest feedback about areas where you could improve. Respond to their courage in being honest by thanking them rather than defending or explaining. This practice gradually makes feedback less threatening and helps you see it as valuable information rather than an attack on your worth.

The Role of Humility in Balanced Self-Worth

Genuine humility often gets confused with low self-esteem, but they’re quite different. True humility is having an accurate view of yourself—recognizing both your strengths and limitations without exaggeration in either direction. It’s not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less. Humble people have solid self-esteem combined with realistic self-awareness and appreciation for others.

Research shows that humble people actually have better psychological health, stronger relationships, and greater success in many areas than those with inflated self-views. Humility allows you to learn because you can admit what you don’t know. It fosters genuine connections because you can see and appreciate others without feeling threatened. It enables growth because you can acknowledge areas needing improvement without experiencing this as a devastating blow to your worth.

Cultural humility represents an important application of this concept. This involves recognizing the limits of your cultural knowledge and experience, appreciating diverse perspectives, and understanding that your way isn’t the only or necessarily best way. Cultural humility allows you to engage across differences with curiosity and respect rather than judgment or assumption of superiority.

Intellectual humility specifically addresses how we hold beliefs and knowledge. People with intellectual humility recognize that their understanding is always partial and potentially flawed. They can change their minds when presented with good evidence without experiencing this as defeat or humiliation. They approach disagreement with curiosity about what they might learn rather than needing to prove they’re right. This stance enables continued learning and growth throughout life.

False humility represents another pitfall to avoid. This involves publicly minimizing your strengths or achievements while secretly believing you’re superior, or deflecting compliments in ways that actually draw more attention to yourself. False humility is manipulative—using apparent humility to gain social approval or admiration. True humility involves honest self-assessment without either inflating or minimizing your actual capabilities and contributions.

How to Maintain Balance Between Confidence and Humility

The goal isn’t choosing between self-esteem and humility but integrating both into balanced, secure self-worth. This integration allows you to acknowledge your strengths without arrogance and recognize your limitations without shame. You can feel confident in your abilities while remaining open to learning and growth. You can take appropriate pride in achievements while recognizing others’ contributions and the role of circumstances beyond your control.

This balance manifests in specific ways. You can speak up and share your ideas confidently while also listening genuinely to others’ perspectives. You can pursue ambitious goals that stretch you while accepting that you won’t always succeed and that’s okay. You can enjoy your successes without needing them to prove you’re superior to others. You can acknowledge mistakes and apologize sincerely without your self-worth crumbling.

Maintaining this balance requires ongoing attention to both internal and external factors. Internally, monitor your self-talk for extremes—both harsh self-criticism and grandiose self-inflation signal imbalance. Externally, pay attention to your relationships and how others respond to you. If people seem distant, intimidated, or irritated, you might be leaning too far toward arrogance. If people consistently take advantage of you or dismiss your needs, you might be leaning too far toward diminishing your worth.

Regular self-reflection helps maintain balance. Set aside time periodically to honestly assess your current relationship with self-worth. Ask yourself: Am I being defensive when receiving feedback? Am I comparing myself to others frequently? Am I downplaying my achievements or inflating them? Do I feel secure in my worth even when things go wrong? This ongoing self-examination allows you to notice when you’re drifting toward either extreme and make adjustments.

Seek perspectives from trusted others who can offer honest feedback. Choose people who care about you and will tell you the truth—that you’re being arrogant or that you’re not giving yourself enough credit. Sometimes we’re too close to our own patterns to see them clearly, and outside perspective helps maintain balance.

FAQs About Is it Self-esteem or Pride

How do I know if my good feelings about myself are healthy self-esteem or problematic pride?

The key difference lies in how these feelings affect your relationships and response to challenges. Healthy self-esteem allows you to feel good about yourself while still valuing others equally and accepting feedback graciously. If you feel good about yourself but also feel threatened by others’ success, become defensive when criticized, or need to maintain superiority over others, that suggests problematic pride. Ask yourself: Can I be genuinely happy for others’ achievements? Can I admit mistakes without my self-worth crumbling? Do I base my worth on being better than others or on inherent value? Your answers reveal which you’re experiencing.

Can you have both low self-esteem and problematic pride at the same time?

Yes, this is actually quite common. Many people with low self-esteem develop grandiose pride as a defense mechanism. On the surface they appear arrogant or superior, but underneath they’re struggling with deep feelings of inadequacy or shame. The pride serves as protection against these painful feelings. This explains why people with narcissistic traits are often so sensitive to criticism—it threatens the defensive pride that’s protecting their fragile self-worth. If you notice yourself swinging between feeling superior and feeling worthless, this pattern of defensive pride over low self-esteem is likely at play.

Is it prideful to acknowledge my strengths and accomplishments?

No, acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments honestly is part of healthy self-esteem, not problematic pride. The difference lies in how you hold this awareness—with balanced perspective or with inflation and superiority. Healthy acknowledgment sounds like: “I worked hard on this project and did well” or “I’m good at public speaking.” Problematic pride sounds like: “I’m the best at this and others should recognize my superiority” or “My success proves I’m better than others.” You can and should recognize what you’re good at and take appropriate satisfaction in achievements without it meaning you’re prideful or arrogant.

How can I be confident without seeming arrogant to others?

Genuine confidence comes across differently than arrogance because it’s accompanied by humility and respect for others. Confident people can acknowledge their strengths while also recognizing others’ contributions, admitting what they don’t know, and showing genuine interest in others’ perspectives. Arrogant people need to prove their superiority, dominate conversations, dismiss others’ ideas, and struggle to admit mistakes. To appear confident rather than arrogant, speak about your abilities factually without comparing yourself favorably to others, ask others questions and listen to their responses, acknowledge when you’re wrong or don’t know something, and give credit where it’s due. These behaviors signal secure confidence rather than defensive arrogance.

Should religious or spiritual people avoid having high self-esteem?

No, religious and spiritual teachings that emphasize humility aren’t calling for self-hatred or denial of your worth—they’re warning against the hubristic pride that puts yourself above others or believes you don’t need growth, help, or grace. Healthy self-esteem is actually compatible with genuine humility and most spiritual teachings. You can recognize your inherent worth as a person, acknowledge your God-given talents or strengths, and take appropriate satisfaction in using these well, all while maintaining humility about your limitations and dependence on something greater than yourself. Many spiritual traditions teach that you’re created with inherent worth and dignity, which supports healthy self-esteem, while also teaching that you’re not superior to others and need humility, which guards against problematic pride.