Love Me If You Dare: High Self-esteem In Couple Love
For many people, having a partner and getting married is one of their main life goals. But Relationships are not always easy and can go through conflictive moments If there is a variable that has a positive (or not) impact on the solution of these conflicts, it is self-esteem.
Self-esteem affects people’s daily lives and their interpersonal relationships, and the aspect of love and relationships is no exception. While Individuals with low self-esteem can become emotionally dependent subjects and they can intoxicate the relationship, those who enjoy high self-esteem can even become intimidating, because they feel so good about themselves that they do not need anyone else to be happy. Sometimes they do not fit the ideal of a person in love that appears in the movies, that is, one who is aware of their partner 24 hours a day.
Those who have high self-esteem can be criticized because they give a “love me if you dare” image That is, they are not the classic people who want to be with someone at all costs (even when the relationship has no solution), but rather they enjoy their lives to the fullest and make the most of it. For them, the partner is a traveling companion, and in their schemes there is no option to remain in a toxic relationship. These people, when they find someone they fit in with, truly love, they love with “mature love.”
The truth is that many films, songs or novels are inspired by love, this feeling so intense that it is capable of leaving us sensations and feelings that are difficult to forget. This love that can seem so idyllic and magnificent, It is often based on fantasy, in an image of perfection that is rarely fulfilled. We often create irrational expectations of what a person in love or our partner should be like, something that can lead to conflicts due to not being able to meet these expectations.
In a healthy love, each member of the couple has their space, and each one must feel good about himself. Without leaving aside respect as a fundamental pillar in a couple’s relationship, it may not be seen well when a person is especially independent and pursues their dreams with great drive and passion, because this irrational image of love that is being talked about can make us believe that we must be hooked on our partner, share everything and give ourselves 100%.
Now, if we give ourselves 100%, where is the percentage that is destined for our personal development and our individual happiness? When a person loves himself, he is able to love others
Low self-esteem equals toxic people
If high self-esteem is key for love to succeed, low self-esteem is the opposite: the person does not feel good about themselves, and so it is impossible for a relationship to work There must be a balance in any interpersonal relationship, otherwise one of the two is placed in a position of power that does not benefit the well-being of the couple.
Furthermore, people with low self-esteem turn the relationship into a conflictive situation, since communication is seriously affected. They are people who cling to relationships like a burning nail, and have a great need to maintain the emotional bond and affection because they feel weak alone.
Toxic love, to which these people cling, has ten characteristics. They are the following:
The relationship also influences
In the previous examples it has been mentioned how self-esteem affects the good progress of the relationship. However, love is a very intense feeling and is a very important part of our life, so the good or bad progress of the relationship also affects how we feel, and our self-esteem.
We can be very attached to a person and live unforgettable experiences, but when love breaks, our brain suffers and our view of the world can change until leading us to an existential crisis. There are few couples that end well, and especially in those cases in which there has been infidelity, the person who is the victim of deception may feel like a loser, something that, without a doubt, can have an impact on his or her self-esteem. .
In addition, in heartbreak, a series of chemical reactions occur in the brain that can cause a neurochemical imbalance that requires a normalization process, in which the person must get used to being without their loved one and must learn to enjoy again of life’s pleasurable experiences. Scientific research concludes that when we go through a relationship breakup, our dopamine levels drop, something that is associated with depression or obsession.
Psychologists claim that It is necessary to stop seeing the ex-partner to until our neural circuits regain stability; Otherwise, our self-esteem may suffer the consequences.
How to improve in this aspect
Self-esteem is a set of beliefs, evaluations, perceptions and thoughts that we have about ourselves. Although there is no magic formula to improve it, it is possible adopt a series of habits and attitudes that can allow us to be less critical of ourselves, accept the experiences that happen to us or learn from failures.
The first step to change is to become aware that you have low self-esteem and in extreme situations it is necessary to seek psychological help. However, in the article: “10 keys to increasing your self-esteem in 30 days” you can find a list of tips that will help you value yourself positively.
