Orbiting: What It Is, Signs To Identify It And How To Act

When it seemed that you were already beginning to understand what ghosting was, what stalking someone was, now another new term appears called orbiting. It seems that this relationship thing, since social networks appeared, has become increasingly more complicated and new terms and behaviors that were not practiced in other times continue to constantly appear.

But networks are already part of our daily lives, to the point that they have caused changes in the way we relate to and meet new people. Before, when you stopped liking someone you’d been knowing for a while, you’d simply tell them and/or stop seeing each other. But now, with networks, that contact can still exist.

In the age of social media and digital connections, relationships have evolved in ways that sometimes lead to confusing and emotionally challenging behaviors. One such behavior is “orbiting.” Orbiting refers to a situation where someone consistently interacts with another person in a way that creates emotional tension, without actually engaging in a direct relationship. In this article, we’ll explore what orbiting is, how to identify its signs, and how to effectively handle the situation.

What is Orbiting?

Orbiting is a term that describes a behavior where a person, after a breakup or during a confusing relationship situation, continues to hover around another person’s life without fully engaging with them. The “orbiter” might not actively engage in face-to-face communication but continues to observe and interact through indirect channels like social media or messaging. This behavior can be confusing for the person on the receiving end because it gives mixed signals—leading them to wonder if there’s still interest or if the relationship is truly over.

Unlike ghosting, where a person cuts off all communication, orbiting keeps the door open in a passive and non-committal way. The orbiter may like your posts, comment on your pictures, watch your stories, or even send sporadic messages, all while not taking the initiative to have a genuine conversation or meet in person.

Signs of Orbiting

It can be hard to recognize orbiting because it doesn’t involve clear, direct communication. However, there are a few signs to look for:

Frequent Social Media Interaction

One of the main signs of orbiting is that the person constantly interacts with you on social media. They might like or comment on your posts, watch your stories, or engage in other subtle ways without making an effort to directly communicate or reconnect.

Inconsistent Messaging

The orbiter might occasionally send you messages, but these messages tend to be vague or lack depth. They may ask general questions, comment on your status updates, or reach out sporadically without showing a consistent interest in engaging in meaningful conversation.

No Effort to Reconnect In-Person

Orbiting typically happens when someone is not willing to meet or connect face-to-face. While they may stay in your digital space, they avoid making the relationship more personal by keeping the interactions at a distance.

Lack of Commitment

While the orbiter is lingering around your life, they’re not making any firm commitments. This could mean they refuse to define the relationship, avoid labels, or dodge deeper emotional conversations. They may also avoid taking responsibility for their past actions or any closure needed for the relationship.

Fluctuating Engagement

The orbiter’s attention towards you is inconsistent. There may be times when they seem to “disappear,” and other times when they reappear with an unexpected like or comment. This unpredictable pattern can leave you questioning their intentions.

Unclear Intentions

Perhaps the most telling sign of orbiting is a lack of clarity. The person doesn’t provide closure, yet continues to hover in your digital world. This may cause emotional confusion and prevent you from fully moving on.

How to Act When Dealing with Orbiting

If you suspect that someone is orbiting around you, it’s important to handle the situation thoughtfully. Here are some strategies for addressing the behavior:

Set Boundaries

One of the most effective ways to handle orbiting is to establish clear boundaries. If you no longer wish to engage with the person, it may be time to stop accepting their social media interactions. You can unfollow them, block them, or limit your engagement to ensure you don’t fall into the cycle of confusing communication.

Communicate Clearly

If you are open to resolving the situation, it may be helpful to communicate your feelings directly. Let the person know if you are uncomfortable with their behavior or if you are no longer interested in maintaining any form of connection. Clear and honest communication can often help eliminate the confusion.

Focus on Moving Forward

If you no longer want to be involved with the person who is orbiting, it’s crucial to focus on moving forward. Engage with people who make an effort to communicate with you directly and build healthy, meaningful relationships. Remove distractions from your digital life and prioritize your emotional well-being.

Don’t Chase Closure

Often, orbiting leaves people feeling like they need closure, but chasing after it can keep you emotionally tied to the past. Instead of waiting for explanations or answers, focus on taking care of yourself and moving forward with a clear sense of your own boundaries.

Be Prepared for Mixed Signals

It’s important to recognize that orbiting is a passive form of behavior, and the orbiter may not be intentionally trying to confuse or hurt you. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that the lack of commitment and clear intentions could be detrimental to your emotional well-being. Be prepared to make decisions based on your own feelings and not solely on the signals they send.

Why Do People Orbit?

There are several reasons why someone might engage in orbiting behavior:

Fear of Closure

Some people may avoid facing the emotional consequences of a breakup, choosing instead to hover around in an uncommitted way. They might be afraid of losing the person entirely and avoid full closure to keep the possibility of re-engagement open.

Desire for Control

Orbiting can sometimes be a way for someone to maintain a sense of control in the relationship. By observing the other person from a distance without direct engagement, the orbiter may feel they can still exert some influence over the other person’s emotions.

Uncertainty About the Relationship

In some cases, the person doing the orbiting may not be sure about their feelings or intentions. They might be unsure whether they want to commit to the relationship fully but are unwilling to completely let go.

Insecurity

Some people might orbit because they are unsure of their own self-worth and need reassurance that the other person still finds them interesting or attractive, even if they don’t want to rekindle the relationship.

Orbiting can be a confusing and emotionally taxing experience, as it leaves you with mixed signals and no clear closure. Understanding what orbiting is, recognizing the signs, and knowing how to handle the situation is key to protecting your emotional well-being. By setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and focusing on your personal growth, you can avoid being caught in a passive cycle and regain control over your relationships.

Remember, the most important thing is to prioritize your mental and emotional health. If someone’s behavior is making you uncomfortable, take the necessary steps to ensure that you are surrounded by positive and clear communication, both online and offline.

FAQs about Orbiting

1. What is the main difference between orbiting and ghosting?

Orbiting differs from ghosting in that the orbiter continues to engage with you through indirect methods like social media interactions or occasional messaging, while ghosting involves cutting off all communication entirely. Orbiting keeps the person in your life, but without meaningful engagement.

2. Can orbiting be a sign that the person still has feelings for me?

While orbiting may indicate lingering feelings, it doesn’t necessarily mean the person is interested in resuming a relationship. They might just feel unsure or unready to let go but aren’t willing to fully engage or commit.

3. How do I stop someone from orbiting me?

To stop someone from orbiting you, set clear boundaries by unfollowing or blocking them on social media, or directly communicate your discomfort with their behavior. Be firm in expressing that you no longer wish to maintain contact.

4. Why do people orbit instead of directly communicating?

People might orbit because they’re afraid of facing the emotional consequences of a breakup, want to keep control over the relationship, or are unsure about their feelings. It could also be a way to get reassurance without directly confronting the situation.

5. How can orbiting affect my emotional well-being?

Orbiting can be emotionally draining because it sends mixed signals, leading to confusion and uncertainty. It prevents closure and may leave you hanging, making it harder to move on and potentially affecting your emotional health.

What is orbiting?

Orbiting is a behavior that occurs when a relationship between two people ends There stops being explicit interaction, you stop seeing each other and talking, but There are still interactions on social networks like watching Instagram stories, liking posts, and even sharing your content on their stories or with their friends and commenting on your posts, but without engaging in a conversation with you.

Summarizing what orbiting is: it is one of the types of ghosting through social networks, the practice of which appears identical, but is characterized because, in addition to the interruption of communication, there is still connection through online platforms. That is, when they ghost you and come back; The contact of a romantic or friendship relationship ends without explanation and ignoring any communication. And suddenly you receive samples of interactions on Instagram.

Orbiting: what it is, signs to identify it and how to act - What is orbiting

Signs to identify orbiting

Termination of communication It can be both unexpected and gradual, and permanent or relative to a specific period of time (such as during holidays). We find different motivations that can lead a person to practice orbiting, among them we find that it is an easy way to cut off communication without involving great effort.

Some of the main signs that can help us identify could be:

  • Face-to-face meetings decrease.
  • Increase communication through networks by messages instead of direct communication.
  • The other person remains distant, there is no feedback for his part but he does like your posts.

How to act when faced with orbiting

Orbiting is generally characterized by different states specifically 3 according to Williams (2009) which would be:

  1. Thoughtful This stage occurs immediately after detection, and produces a rapid response characterized by social pain, a revaluation of basic psychological needs, and negative emotions.
  2. Reflective This second stage occurs after people’s reflection, after they have been able to think about it and integrate the situation into their experience. In this state people begin to recover from the initial response.
  3. Resignation Characterized by feelings of alienation and, in some cases, depression.

Therefore, after receiving orbiting behaviors and during and/or after these stages, reactions characterized by:

  • Surprise and confusion.
  • Anger, sadness and guilt.
  • Attempts to repair the relationship.
  • Acceptance.

What to do if they orbit you

Some authors such as Freedman et al. (2019) maintain that strong beliefs in destiny on the part of orbiting victims would act as a protective factor to accept the communication cut-off and networked interaction, since they attribute the fact to the will of destiny.

If we suffer orbiting, it will be important to act, on the one hand, with personal self-care to be able to integrate the experience into our life history in a healthy way and without it affecting us excessively, being able to emerge “stronger” from the experience.

On the other hand, if we feel that it will help us, we can communicate to the other person how this situation makes us feel And even if their interaction with us on social networks bothers us a lot, delete it and/or block it in order to avoid the discomfort and negative emotions that it causes us.

How to avoid orbiting

In order to avoid future orbiting situations in future relationships, we can put on the table, as a condition within the relationship (of whatever type), the fact of communicating when we want to end it for any reason to the other person and being able to talk about it

Many times situations arise that make us uncomfortable due to lack of communication from the beginning. That’s why it’s important present our conditions when we start relationships

If you liked this article about what orbiting is, signs to identify it and how to act; We recommend you read our post on Ghosting: What it is, causes and types and Breadcrumbing: what it is, signs to identify it and how to act.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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