Peter Pan Syndrome: 7 Signs Of ‘Fear Of Growing Up’

As we age, humans must grow and mature both emotionally and intellectually. During this process, we become aware of the evolution of our identity and end up assuming certain responsibilities. Even so, there are cases in which a person ends up presenting more emotional traits typical of a child than an adult. When someone presents this type of attitude, it is very likely that we are facing a case of Peter Pan syndrome

People who have this Peter Pan complex, they feel that they cannot or do not want to grow. So much so that they do not want to face life or the future with the perspective and attitudes of someone who has matured according to their physical age. This phenomenon was first coined in 1983 by the American psychologist Dan Kiley in his book The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up.

What is Peter Pan syndrome?

He Peter Pan syndrome It affects those adults who do not want to mature or assume the responsibilities of someone their age. Therefore, we are talking about emotional immaturity in adult men and women.

In most cases of people who suffer from a Peter Pan complex They tend to be men who do not want to enter adult life. So much so that they don’t even want to take responsibility, making others take care of them. They also look for those around them to support them in their decision not to enter emotional maturity.

Even though that him Peter Pan syndrome It is not a phenomenon coined by psychology, the reality is that it is a way of naming those people who do not want to mature. On the other hand, the Peter Pan complex does not indicate those attitudes that many may consider childish, such as curiosity, a sense of humor, or love for certain things associated with those of a child. In many cases these characteristics are good for a person. When Peter Pan syndrome exists, we refer to people who do not want to take on the tasks of an adult and not to those who have certain childhood attitudes.

When does this emotional immaturity originate?

This syndrome, which affects men more than women, usually has its origins in childhood, when the person is building an emotional environment that, in this case, appears insufficient.

The individual does not feel loved, and when he grows up he becomes distressed by the lack of security and protection he notices in all the unknown that exists in the world of adults. For this reason, he takes refuge in the world he knows, that of children, that of childish behavior and the absence of commitments, the world in which others take care of them regardless of the circumstances and conditions of the relationship. . These causes usually arise due to the following:

• Spoiled childhood: There are many Peter Pan cases with parents who have given everything the children wanted during their childhood. In this way, the word ‘no’ has never been used by these parents and the children have grown up in an environment where they got everything they wanted. When these children grow up they do not know the value of effort and on many occasions they end up suffering from the so-called Peter Pan complex.
• Abusive childhood: When a person has suffered abuse as a child, there is a possibility that as an adult they will feel the need to ‘catch up’. That is, on some occasions you can suffer the Peter Pan complex since one has not lived a good childhood.
• Longing for nostalgia: Being nostalgic for our childhood is a trait that many people share. Although it is a completely normalized emotion and people usually have these sensations, when someone becomes obsessed with them they can suffer from the Peter Pan syndrome
• economic despair: In situations where economic conditions are worse, it may happen that jobs are not valued enough and salaries are excessively low. So much so that on many occasions workers may face long hours and the inability to achieve and progress towards their personal goals. When a person is constantly stuck, it can sometimes happen that they go back in time. So much so that this escapism can lead to suffering the same effect as the Peter Pan characters
• Lack of adult life skills: In many cases the Peter Pan syndrome It ends up emerging in those people who cannot cope with all the responsibilities of an adult life due to lack of skills. Although we all have the capacity to assume them, some individuals cannot face them due to their few experiences assuming responsibilities. As these ‘adult’ skills are not taught, some may experience a meltdown when they take charge.

Although these are the main causes of suffering from a Peter Pan complex, the reality is that there are many occasions in which we can feel some of the symptoms of this condition. The problem is when we cling completely to it.

Peter Pan syndrome and its symptoms

As Kiley himself specifies in his work, the general features that can characterize a Peter Pan person are:

1. Immature and narcissistic personality: Rebellion, dependence, anger or the inability to empathize with others are some of the emotions that usually predominate in their character. In it Peter Pan syndrome People have the behavior of a child, that is, they tend to be very egotistical.
2. Aging is not accepted: They even try to stop the process of physical growth and, for example, dress childishly and orient their main hobbies towards those of the little ones. They can even undergo all kinds of rejuvenation treatments even when they don’t really require it.
3. Difficulties in personal relationships, both with friends and with your partner: Their tendency to delegate their own responsibilities to others and blame them when something goes wrong makes it difficult to establish any type of stable and lasting relationship. Within the couple, this inability translates into experiencing superficial relationships in which there is no type of commitment, since it would mean having to assume responsibilities and be at the same level of emotional maturity as the other person. That is why, in many cases, those who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome They end up isolating themselves from society.
4. Lack of professional interest: One of the most visible symptoms of Peter Pan syndrome It is precisely the disinterest in working. So much so that these people tend to jump from one job to another or even try not to work and take advantage of others.
5. Drug and alcohol abuse: When the Peter Pan complex It goes to the extreme, it is very common to find cases in which alcoholism or drug addiction are used to compensate for this obsessive nostalgia.
6. They don’t take the blame: It is very likely that a person with Peter Pan complex I ended up blaming everyone else for everything. So much so that he never takes responsibility for his mistakes.
7. They don’t want to improve: One of the most negative traits of people who feel like the Peter Pan characters, is precisely not wanting to evolve. In all of these cases, the individual does not want to change for the better even though he can see all the problems that he is having in his life.

If you think that you or someone around you has any of the symptoms of Peter Pan syndrome It is vital to try to compensate for this situation. In many cases, it can be very helpful to go to a professional psychologist.