In life there will always be the need to love and be loved; but… How difficult is it to do it? Love tends to bring with it a variety of problems that on thousands of occasions we cannot decipher there are questions that leave you breathless and even without the desire to continue.
However, no matter how many bitter experiences you have, you are always waiting to find that ideal partner you have always dreamed of, that person with whom you can be yourself without fear of being rejected; that individual who can become your best friend, your love of company.
The search for that person is constant , it is done through friends, work, university, neighborhood, church and even on internet pages; That’s right! There are dating sites where you look for that dream partner all over the world, where you spend hours and hours analyzing each profile with the idea of finding the right one.
What happens when that “soul mate” is not found in the desired time?
Many times we go through a crisis of anxiety and depression that can fracture self-esteem, making you think that you are not suitable to experience true love ; This leads you to pay attention to any individual with the idea of not being alone, but it will generate more feelings of loneliness, frustration and indignation with life.
Why does this happen? We are so focused on what others will say, on the parameters of society and even on the “happiness” of others, that the goal is to fit in without understanding that Before aspiring to live a real love, you must love yourself first
It is important to recognize yourself to be able to share your life with someone special; You must be that person you want to be with. That is, if you don’t love being alone, if you don’t enjoy yourself… How can another person enjoy your company? If you don’t enjoy yourself, that means that there is nothing good you can offer, since you can’t give what you don’t have. Loving you, valuing yourself, enjoying yourself, knowing you, enjoying yourself is the most important thing before meeting someone. When you ask a person to share your life, you must be sure that they will be good company; Otherwise you will waste your time with someone who will only stagnate your life and will not let you enjoy it freely.
Many times I hear people repeat “the train is already leaving me”, “let’s walk with the wrong one, while the right one arrives” this, in order to not spend time alone; which makes me frequently ask: Are you so boring that you need to be with someone to have fun? So what if you are an elderly person? Does love have age limits? But what I wonder most is where is your self-esteem? Why are you so focused on what they will say?
To do?
To find true love, you must know yourself first, learn to be alone ; understand what your expectations are and be clear about your desires, goals and dreams so as not to make mistakes when finding a person, so you will stop looking for someone who makes you happy, because… You already are! You will look for someone who complements your happiness and accompanies you on the path of life.
To achieve this, you must have a lot of patience and become aware of reality, remember that the only thing you can choose in your life is your partner, since you did not choose your parents, your siblings neither, and much less your children. ; but your love of company yes, with whom sharing your life must be a task well done, calmly and without rush.
What happens if I make the wrong choice?
No problem, falling to get up will never be falling ; You must understand that all people are different and that the only certain thing in life is death; Even if you look for that ideal person and are careful when finding them, you may make a mistake when choosing them; The only thing you must be clear about is not to lose your focus, and understand that true love, real love is the one that becomes love for company over the years; It is the love that is required to grow old, to share the last years of life.
Many people make a mistake when choosing, or perhaps they chose hastily due to social pressures, but over time they realize that the chosen person causes them emotional and psychological damage; and they stay there, leaving aside their happiness for unfounded fears primarily in society, for the economy and even for their children; children who will leave when they grow up, and to whom by staying you are causing greater damage.
So keep in mind that you have the ability to move forward and find a real love with whom you can share all the things you dreamed of.
A true love is who drives you every day to be better , who accompanies you to live and not the one who wants you to leave your life to live his or hers; He is the one who is with you to share the gift of life.
Where do I find that person with whom I can share my life?
There is no exact place where you can find it; You just have to be patient and enjoy life in the meantime , know yourself, make an improved version of yourself every day, go to therapy to remove all those ghosts from the past that oppress you; In this way you will find security in yourself, and when that good company arrives, you will feel that you live intensely even with all the ups and downs that arise, (which will arise because there are no perfect relationships).
But since you have already done your part, there is already confidence in you; You will be able to vibrate, laugh with all the craziness and occurrences that exist in a relationship; and although you enjoy your solitude, you will want to share every moment with that person, you will not want him to go away for a single moment, but when he is far away, you are so sure that you do not feel distrustful of what he is doing.
If there are fights in the relationship, is it because I didn’t choose well?
While it is true that all people are imperfect, no one will come into your life to make it perfect since life is like a roller coaster, there are ups and downs.
The differences between you and your partner will often cause conflicts, but despite all of them, you will always feel that it was the best decision you could have made and you will be grateful to God, to life, to whoever you believe, because you feel that it is the best gift you could have had.
What you must pay attention to is that with the differences there is no violence of any kind; If there is, you should seek help.
In conclusion, Real love is no different from companionate love; These two are the combination of true love , which merges with another person, but which must be the one you have with yourself. Really loving yourself is necessary because you will be your company throughout your life; If you still feel that you have not managed to truly love yourself, do not hesitate to seek professional help to do so, believe me, it is the most wonderful thing that can exist in life, a psychologist will help you, invest in yourself!
