Self-esteem: How It Can Be Treated In Psychotherapy
Self-esteem is the fundamental basis of people’s psychological well-being Therefore, it is one of the most important aspects of most psychotherapy processes.
In this article We will see how self-esteem is worked through psychological therapy and how this benefits patients.
Self-esteem is the assessment we make of ourselves. We can synthesize it in these five “cars”, their components and constituent parts:
1. Self-knowledge
Consists in know what your characteristics are, your weaknesses, strengths, needs …
2. Self-assessment
Once you are clear about your characteristics, tap see how you value them that is, whether positively or negatively, broadly speaking.
3. Self-acceptance
There are things that we can and want to change about ourselves and others that perhaps we do not like and we must accept them as they are
4. Self-respect
It is the previous step to healthy self-esteem. Is about seek our well-being, meet our needs and treat ourselves with the love we deserve
5. Positive self-esteem
It is based on all the previous points, and on the fact that we seek a healthy self-esteem, that is, one that is neither too low (undervaluation), nor high (narcissism) nor conditional (loving ourselves if we achieve certain achievements and otherwise despising ourselves). Healthy self-esteem is unconditional.
Healthy self-esteem can be defined as a positive attitude towards oneself, based on a realistic self-image that has to do with who we really are. It means accepting ourselves unconditionally, without this acceptance depending on the achievement of certain achievements or the evaluation of other people and attend to our needs and personal well-being. It also influences whether we relate satisfactorily to others.
It must be differentiated from low self-esteem, in which we value ourselves distortedly in a more negative way than we deserve, and from narcissistic self-esteem, in which the person tends to overvalue himself, or from conditional self-esteem, which depends on the achievement of certain achievements.
We can imagine healthy self-esteem as a balanced scale between our “real self”, more related to self-concept, that is, how we see ourselves, and our “ideal self” referring to how we would like to be.
This “ideal self” responds to our “potential self” with which we must be cautious, since it is important to have goals and a desire to improve, but it is not advisable to have too high self-demands since we will not be able to achieve them or, if we do, we do, we will be suffering when we stop doing it.
Can self-esteem be worked on in therapy?
Although self-esteem has been forged, to a large extent, in our childhood and youth, It is something that can be worked on in adulthood through psychological therapy In fact, it is one of the main requests we receive in our consultation, Mariva Psiccologías.
When working on self-esteem in psychotherapy, we do so by intervening in each of the 5 constituent elements that we have mentioned, and providing tools in these areas:
1. Cognitive area
The role of thoughts is essential one of the main objectives of therapy being the flexibility of the “shoulds” that we impose on ourselves, that is, the self-demands, as well as distorted beliefs that we may have about ourselves.
Is about reverse all those destructive and distorted thoughts that we have about ourselves in a self-dialogue that we are not usually aware of.
2. Behavioral area
In this area we work, among other aspects, on the practice of assertive rights, social skills, we emphasize the importance of carrying out pleasant tasks… In general, The aim is for the person to learn to take care of themselves and also to experience a greater sense of usefulness
On the other hand, social relationships are very relevant to generating healthy self-esteem, and therefore the quality of communicative and expressive skills is enhanced.
3. Emotional area
It is important to cultivate self-compassion, work on our emotions as well as analyze how we see ourselves (real self) and how we would like to know (ideal self) trying to balance this scale that is usually very uneven.
We will enhance emotions typical of kindness, since If we can be kind to others… why not to ourselves?
So… I could improve my self-esteem if I go to a psychologist?
The answer to the question of whether self-esteem can be improved in therapy is a resounding yes. In fact, as we mentioned, it is one of the main requests currently in our Valencia practice, since If self-esteem is low, the person does not feel well and considerable suffering is generated which can even cause anxiety to develop, low mood, social and/or relationship relationships to be damaged, etc.
Working on self-esteem is a process that, despite having a hard part, is very rewarding for the person who goes through it and for the therapist who accompanies them. This process begins with an adequate psychological evaluation to know the person’s specific problem, and what techniques are most appropriate for him or her. The use of these techniques continues to end when a great improvement in self-esteem is achieved, which must continue to be cared for, just as you would take care of your most precious asset.
If you think about it, It’s like any other love You have to know how to love, eliminate toxic relationships and, when you discover healthy love, you have to continue taking care of it. Why not do the same with self-love?
