Sincerity and honesty are values that are often claimed as necessary elements when creating healthy relationships.
However, those whose personality tends towards transparency may encounter many obstacles in their path. Sincerity has some drawbacks which is worth taking into account if you want to learn to manage them. In many ways, social dynamics mean that honesty is punished; It is a true sincericide.
The world of relationships can be complicated for practically everyone, but certain attitudes and personality characteristics have their own drawbacks. In the case of the drawbacks of sincerity, these can be doubly harmful.
On the one hand, these disadvantages, by themselves, cause discomfort, and on the other hand, these types of problems can be disguised and disguised as part of the spirit of sacrifice that is associated with honesty; as if this discomfort were something positive, because it ennobles the sincere person who bears those negative consequences. Somehow, we see sincere people like some kind of martyrs although this does not have to be the case.
Below we will review these drawbacks and the way in which they can harm honest people.
1. The presumption of guilt
One of the types of situations in which people’s sincerity is most evident It is when they make a negative criticism of others , no matter how constructive it may be. Many times this happens when someone asks you to give your honest opinion about something, and yet when it turns out to be negative, it is often taken as a personal attack, as if it were not in the context of an honest conversation.
The same thing usually happens to sincere people as to psychologists in general: people try to see themselves reflected in the opinions of these people, and that is why they are victims of a barrage of personal questions : what do you think of me? What do you think of my relationship with my wife? etc
3. Lack of compatibility with others
Normally, sincere people They find it difficult to find the same transparency and honesty in the people around them It is not easy to get used to an environment in which lies and attitudes that only seek to give a false image are common, and even less so if these elements are not part of one’s usual repertoire.
4. Unfair competition
There are many situations in which people who tend to hide their opinions and intentions are favored , such as in the job search; Sincerity is penalized in personnel selection processes. This causes sincere people to be displaced or forced to compete by lowering their honesty.
5. Harmful naivety
Another of the drawbacks of sincerity is what the habit of using it on a daily basis produces: the naivety of assuming that others will behave in a similar way to oneself
Since honest people accept sincerity as a natural component of their own personality, something that is not imposed or forced, they assume that this attitude is also present in the majority of human beings. This is a double-edged sword, since although on the one hand it predisposes you to start relationships leaving suspicion aside, it also facilitates the chances of falling victim to deception.
The sincerity can be confused with a lack of social skills , which makes it difficult to establish relationships. If the person in front of us believes that our sincerity is actually a sign that we are unaware of certain conventions of etiquette, he will simply evaluate us as if we had not bothered to educate ourselves in aspects related to socialization.
This drawback can especially affect those who use sincerity as a tool of subversion, because its radicality is dissolved in the belief that it is not honesty but ignorance. It is not enough to be transparent in communication; We must show that we are aware that we are breaking taboos.
A problem of others?
If you’ve read this far, you’ll realize that many of these drawbacks of being too honest are actually not inherently negative characteristics. In fact, in many ways the bad part of sincerity is more of a problem for others. One that, if it ends up being paid for by sincere people, It is simply because they are a minority, and they give in due to pure social pressure
There is no code of rules according to which if after asking for an opinion you are offended, the fault should lie with the person who told you what they think; however, since honesty is a rarity, it ends up being punished
All the inconveniences that we have seen tell us about the need for a cultural and social change to ensure that sincerity is no longer persecuted and that truthful communication flows correctly. Only time will tell if appearances and dissimulation will continue to prevail in this battle.
