The 10 Keys to Overcome Shyness Once and for All

Do you find it difficult to relate to people? Are you not able to express your opinions or your feelings? Do you care too much what other people think of you? Are you never the center of attention at social gatherings?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, We invite you to learn 10 keys to overcome shyness

Overcoming shyness: 10 keys to overcome your introversion

The majority of shy people (65%) believe that they are shy because of external circumstances, such as excessive control by their families, having been treated in an authoritarian or overprotective manner, or having suffered bullying in their childhood.

Shyness should not be confused with introversion, since the latter concept refers to biological bases of personality, while shyness does usually represent a problem when relating to other people. 23% attribute their shyness to its internal causes, such as poor self-image. Fortunately, 86% of shy people are optimistic about being able to improve their problem if they set their minds to it as reported The Shyness Instituteexperts in studies on this trait.

We invite you to find out if you are extravert either introvert reading the following article:

Shyness, like any other problem, requires advice and professional follow-up, but in mild cases there are ten tips that can help overcome it if we have a clear intention to do so.

1. Don’t be so hard on yourself

Don’t push yourself so hard when you’re surrounded by people and you think your contributions aren’t going the way you wanted Don’t worry. Most of your judgments are not based on facts but on negative thoughts you have learned about what optimal social behavior should be.

Perfection does not exist, it is better to let ourselves be carried away by the intuition of the moment. The most important thing, especially at the beginning, is to relativize the importance of even the occurrence of those experiences that scare you so much: is it really so serious to make yourself ridiculous from time to time, if by doing so you learn to gain ease when it comes to express yourself and be yourself in front of others? How many of those people to whom you are obsessed with offering only your best side will you have in your daily life three or four years from now?

2. Respond to social situations authentically

Don’t be reactive to them Don’t try to impose an attitude or behavior that you are not really feeling. Laugh if something makes you laugh, not out of commitment. Speak if you want to speak, not because the situation demands it.

Think that people’s social performance It does not depend so much on whether they “check” the boxes of the actions that are considered popular, as on the way in which you show that you are comfortable with what you do Even if you did something considered strange or eccentric, it could work in your favor if you show that it is a deliberate and genuine action that reflects your personality, and that you are even aware that it is technically unusual but you don’t care if they see that side of you.

3. When you are about to say something or make a movement…

Take the beliefs that your mind sends you to the limit Many beliefs are limiting, sometimes you have to risk starting that conversation that generates so much fear (or rather: excitement) in you.

If you get used to always giving in to your fears, you will enter a dynamic in which it is no longer that you do not dare, it is that you will not even propose to go beyond the habits and behaviors that are familiar to you, with all the limitations that it implies.

4. Learn and don’t be afraid to take steps towards new behaviors in social situations

Reality must be conceived, in a certain way, as a test bed Experiment, there is nothing more stimulating than trying things, even if they turn out “wrong”. In reality, they are unique learnings and experiences that you take with you: you are sowing seeds that sooner or later will bear fruit.

5. You can practice new social behaviors with people you trust

You can practice with your loved ones until you get used to starting conversations Maintain eye contact, develop your body language, express your ideas and emotions… Little by little you will feel more comfortable and you will expand your range of action. Here is a good article to develop this set of social skills.

6. If you have been avoiding doing something, you can write down what you are going to say

Do you like to write? You can rehearse the interaction by writing it down on a notepad or in front of a mirror until you feel comfortable Without obsessing: remember that failures should be understood as successes, since they provide you with learning that will help you in the future.

7. Drop into group meetings

It is a good idea that frequent groups and environments where interests coincide coincide with yours and try talking to new people. You will be able to start conversations in which you can contribute a lot, and perhaps from there it will be easier for you to move on to personal matters with your interlocutors.

8. Don’t worry about social acceptance

Practice your assertiveness and don’t be afraid to be more spontaneous. In reality, being spontaneous is a very positive thing, and if you are, rest assured that others will value it. Speak your mind honestly and assertively, and people will likely accept you and be receptive to your opinions.

9. Get used to speaking in front of more people

Start showing yourself in situations where you feel most comfortable Although you may not realize it, you will be training and your brain will begin to assimilate that speaking in front of other people does not pose any risk; there is nothing to fear.

10. If you feel nervous and shy, you can remember this

If your nerves ever get to you, remember that There are great characters in history who overcame their shyness Although it is expensive, shyness will not be an obstacle to achieving your personal and professional goals.