The Psychic’s Immune System: Self-esteem

There is a lot of talk today about self-esteem; and since all the words that are used and abused remain hollow, without consistency, let’s see how to address self-esteem in our daily lives.

There is a lot of talk today about self-esteem; and since all the words that are used and abused seem to remain hollow, without consistency, so let’s look at some things that can come in handy to know what we are talking about when we talk about self-esteem

How is good self-esteem defined?

The importance of healthy self-esteem lies in the fact that it is the basis of our ability to respond actively and positively to the opportunities presented to us in work, love and fun. It is also the basis of this serenity of spirit that makes it possible to enjoy life.

Branden (1991)

The self-esteem It does not indicate a stable core, but rather a turbulent and continuous flow, which is subject to a constant process of change and transformation from the earliest age of the individual. Self-esteem is not a purely individual phenomenon but must be understood intersubjectively in relation to certain particular historical and social conditions that affect each individual.

How is self-esteem built?

It is built on the bond with others. From the very beginning of life, it is necessary for the baby to have at least one caregiver who provides emotional security, to whom she can become emotionally attached. A secure attachment It generates a balanced self-esteem, since it makes it easier for the child to ensure that his experiences, which are still intense and meaningless, remain limited, protected, by another supporter who will give gaze, attention, words and rhythm to calm the anxieties that those moments awaken. Although self-esteem lays its foundation in childhood, it is not unalterable in other stages of life; it needs to be nurtured to varying degrees, depending on the personality from the outside.

What does a consolidated self-esteem look like?

A consolidated self-esteem “It allows you to give direction, to give wings, to what you think, to what you want, to face difficulties, not to be too influenced by the gaze of others, to have a sense of humor,”Know that you can“, (as Diego Torres sings). You can survive failures and disappointments, refuse abuse, express doubts, tolerate a certain loneliness, feel worthy of being loved and endure ceasing to be loved.

Consolidated self-esteem allows one to express fears and weaknesses without being ashamed, to bond with significant others without monitoring or suffocating them, to admit to oneself the right to disappoint or fail It allows you to ask for help without feeling like it is alms, to have the experience of being able to endure misfortunes, to change your mind (because you think, but not to blend in with the pack), to learn from experience, to have realistic expectations in relation to the future, to accept the limitations, not being in the eternal doubt: I’m worth it/I’m not worth it/I’m worth little, in a sad plucking of the leaves from the daisy.

The admiration of others It does not create our self-esteem, nor does scholarship, marriage, or motherhood. Not material possessions, acts of philanthropy, sexual conquests or cosmetic surgery. Sometimes these things can help us feel better about ourselves or feel more comfortable in specific situations. But comfort is not self-esteem. To consider self-esteem as a basic need is to recognize that it acts as the immune system of the psycheproviding us with resistance, strength and recovery capacity.

Why is it so important to have good self-esteem?

Self-esteem is a mighty estuary, turbulent, with changing currents. The rivers that flow into self-esteem are childhood, achievements, the web of significant relationships, but also the projects (individual and collective) that make the present possible from the future. Of course, with so many tributaries, self-esteem is turbulent, unstable. Turbulent but not unknowable; unstable but not unnavigable. Our boat is an expert sailor if our self-esteem is good. However, the loss of cultural anchorage makes the individual capsize, given that cultural anchorage, like any other, serves to rest and replenish supplies. A long time ago we went through life convinced that we knew who we were, and what we were looking for. Tradition promised peace to those who met certain guidelines, in love or in profession. Today, law and love have become almost unrecognizable. Impossible to hold on, to cling to a model. We can’t hold on to anything. But we are sustained. Sustained by our individual history, but also by our ties and our achievements. And for the historical-social and its various spaces. It is complexity and movement: our current paradigm. Self-esteem therefore must be approached from this paradigm.

We have nothing better than ourselves. I am me and yet I am not without others. There may be a neurochemical imbalance but what there will always be will be the joint action, and difficult to separate, from heredity, personal situation, history, human conflicts, historical-social conditions and experiences.