We live with the illusory belief that misfortunes only happen to others and when they happen to us the disturbing question arises: why me? To answer it you have to take into account a truth unquestionable: our world is a dynamic system, It is in continuous movement due to the action of the different forces of nature, which necessarily causes changes that are largely due to chance (although there are numerous regularities), nothing remains the same indefinitely.
In addition to changes in the physical environment, with the passage of time there are also changes in people (in their physical and psychological state) and in the relationships they maintain with the physical environment and with other members of their group, then think That things will remain the same all your life is absurd. This law of continuous movement facilitates the occurrence of a multitude of events in the human-environment system, so the probability that any of them may negatively affect us is certain, constant and, to a large extent, unpredictable and inevitable. In this PsychologyFor article, we will learn to accept that Traumatic events can happen to all of us.
Accept the possibility that we may experience a traumatic experience
It is therefore about a matter of probability: the more elements that are part of our living environment (material and personal) and the more relationships we have with them, the more events occur and, therefore, the more likely they are to affect us negatively. This forces us to accept that a change in The state of things It is possible at any time and place in the environment in which we are and, therefore, it is likely that a traumatic event that affects us will result from it. In this regard, we should accept uncertainty as part of everyday life.
It is possible that the model of the world that we have built for ourselves (how things are and how things work) has some deficiencies or errors that may be the origin of the traumatic event and that we should assume and accept, thus overcoming the natural tendency to look for excuses to justify them. (rationalization, indictment, etc.). Among the most common deficiencies are:
The mental representations that we had built about ourselves and about the other elements of our environment (especially with people) with respect to their particular characteristics, their position, their function and the ways of relating, contained errors or anomalies that masked the true reality.
Our predictions and illusions for the future they were unfounded had no real basis, or determining factors had not been taken into account when making them.
The existence of deficiencies or errors in any of these factors also forces us to accept that it is necessary to make modifications or abandon our current model and replace it with a new one. Any personal model based on mental representations of our world is not immutable, it can be modified, and neuronal plasticity is the biological mechanism that makes it possible.
Nevertheless, create a new model of the world For it to be valid is costly, requires time and effort, since we must overcome the resistance of the mind to change an already consolidated model when forced by the new situation (on this aspect, what is pointed out by Chinn and Brewer in their article may be illustrative). taxonomy of possible responses of a person to anomalous data). Furthermore, from the physiological point of view, all the biological processes required to form and consolidate the neural networks that represent a new model are complex and require time to adapt (it is something similar to the hours in the gym that are needed to grow the muscles of the body).
Accept the suffering generated.
psychological pain It is a response of our emotional system to an event that affects us and which we classify as harmful (dangerous, harmful, threatening). Its purpose is to encourage the person to pay attention to the disturbing situation presented and act by taking the necessary measures to deal with it effectively.
Since pain is an imperative of nature that fulfills an alert function to maintain survival, it is not in our hands to eliminate it (it is not under the domain of the will, it is due to the autonomic nervous system), so we do not have We have no choice but to accept it and try to control it so that it does not affect our daily lives too much. Acceptance of the necessity and inevitability of pain, despite the deep and bitter feeling of not deserving it, is the first step in beginning to overcome it.
In traumatic events, it has been generated a state of things unforeseen, such as the loss of what we had (health, work, family) and/or the impossibility of having what we want (being parents, social recognition, giving and receiving affection and affection) and, in addition, it is accompanied by a great negative emotional load (more pronounced when crucial ties for psychological well-being are broken: family, social, work). In this situation, our mind is in a state of confusion, mental agitation, unable to reason sensibly to give an adequate response to the situation.
We try to resort to intelligent reasoning to understand the situation and be able to accept it, but with them we only get acceptancecognitive either intellectual (We tell ourselves: I understand what’s happening and I know I have to accept it.), but this is not enough to make the pain disappear, because even if we accept it intellectually, as the emotional nervous system is autonomous, we cannot avoid the affliction and the unpleasant physiological sensations it generates (anxiety, insomnia, stomach discomfort, lack of attention). and concentration, etc.). What’s more, to accept it is necessary analyze and understand all the circumstances of the event and this involves paying attention to it and reliving it, which intensifies the emotional disturbance, thus making it difficult to understand and accept.
Accept our biological nature.
The traumatic event activates the emotional system causing negative emotions to emerge, but this activation depends both on the potential for emotional activation inherent to the event and on the emotional sensitivity of the person (there are people who consider a grain of sand to be a mountain, or a comment inappropriate but innocent turns into a devastating insult). The biological processes involved in both factors take place in various brain structures and several components are involved (mainly neurotransmitters, receptors and hormones). All of them depend largely on the genetic structure of the person, and we cannot change it, so it can be stated that the composition, structure and functioning of the brain system are elements that influence the formation of a traumatic event, and as they are specific for each person, they are part of our biological identity which we are also forced to accept.
In people whose biological nature gives them a greater emotional sensitivity The negative impact of the event will be greater and, therefore, they will be more vulnerable and their acceptance process will require greater effort (it is proven that a lower amount of serotonin and dopamine makes the person more prone to excessive anxiety and fear).
Keys to overcoming a traumatic situation
As we have seen, in the traumatic event Various factors intervene: biological, psychological and environmental factors that determine its qualification as such. From the psychological perspective, the The goal of acceptance is to assume a situation that violates the model of the world established in the mind (implies overcoming the contradiction between the consolidated internal model and external reality) But this requires a great effort, the sum of all the obstacles that can occur in the partial acceptances indicated shows the difficulty of the process, hence the therapeutic treatment should focus on using appropriate techniques for each of the acceptances. Furthermore, the acceptance process is not the same for all people; there are some who achieve it more effectively and quickly, such as those with a great sense of coherence (according to Antonovsky, 1979) or those who are resilient.
Based on the above reasoning, it is easy to come to the conclusion that we must accept traumatic events because there is no other option; it is a necessary requirement to adequately adapt to life changes. Since we cannot change the facts, the “sensible” thing to do is to accept everything that we cannot change or transform. Accepting the obvious, what does not admit evidence to the contrary, discussion or controversy, is the natural path to achieving psychological stability and adaptation to the new situation. The longer this process takes, the more time wasted to dedicate to having pleasant experiences. Therefore, what interests us is to establish the appropriate strategy so that the acceptance process, which in itself is slow and complicated, occurs more quickly, effectively and with less effort.
But it also implies learning to live everyday life accompanied by the psychological pain caused by the trauma, which operates as a burden that is carried on one’s back and that never disappears (at any moment the mental representation of it can emerge into consciousness), but We must move forward, walk the path of life that is within our reach and not stay still with the sole mission of resigning ourselves to the changes produced.
By virtue of the above, overcoming a traumatic event requires, in addition to great mental strength, a proactive attitude based on three basic premises: acceptance of the past, adaptation to the present and excitement for the future.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Traumatic events can happen to all of us we recommend that you enter our Cognitive Psychology category.
