Types Of Love According To Psychology: What Is Yours?
Wouldn’t you know how to define what your relationship is like? Do you want to know how to improve your life as a couple? Discover the types of love according to Sternberg’s theory and find the key to loving better.
No one can accurately describe what love is. So much so that in scientific terms there is still a long way to go to understand love and how it works. Despite this, there are many authors who have tried to classify the different types of love that exist as well as the types of falling in love that we can experience.
Authors who are experts in psychology have different ways of classifying the types of love as well as defining them. This can also be seen among everyday conversations, as each of us tries to understand love differently. Robert Strenberg is a prominent psychologist who has established different types of love in order to understand it in scientific terms. His conceptions, collected within the triangular theory of love establish that to approach the types of love we must first see its components.
Love and relationships are concepts widely studied in psychology. When talking about the Strenberg’s theory , we do not refer to infidelity or a love shared with several people. If not, a love that is made up of three elements that, if put together, can make this love successful: intimacy, passion and commitment.
The three components of love
Before approaching the different types of love according to Strenberg’s psychology , it is vital to understand the components that end up defining what kind of love you belong to. Depending on the degree you have of these components you end up experiencing different forms of love.
Privacy: Within the different love classes , we can find a degree of intimacy between the two people. This implies those feelings of closeness, connection and union that are established between two people.
Passion: In the different types of love There is one degree or another of passion. That is, those feelings and desires that end up leading to a physical attraction that triggers a romance and finally sexual consummation.
Commitment: In all love forms that exist, there is a level of commitment on the part of the couple. This means those feelings that allow us to stay by someone’s side and move towards the same path.
According to Strenberg’s theory , these three components mutually interact with each other. These exist in all forms of love or types of falling in love and differ from one relationship to another and even within the same relationship over time.
This author established, according to the presence of these three components of love, seven possible types of love Even so, each of the different types of love that we can see are cases taken to the limit. That is, the normal thing in a relationship is to have different characteristics of each of them.
Furthermore, Strenberg established a kind of love triangle that depended on two factors, both the amount of love and its balance. Through this geometric figure we try to represent the differences in the amount of love, which are shown through the areas of the love triangle. For example, when we talk about a balanced love (that is, it has each of the components in equal quantities) it will be represented by an equilateral triangle.
It must be taken into account that the types of love in a couple they cannot involve only one triangle. Rather, it involves a large number of triangles since, for example, one does not have a single triangle that represents his love for the other, but there is also the triangle of idealization for the relationship.
Types of love according to Strenberg
The theory of Sternberg It is considered one of the most useful about love. In this theory the psychologist explains to us that the triangle can have up to seven shapes depending on the size and shape of the elements. That is, if we find inequality between passion, intimacy and commitment we speak of an isosceles or scalin triangle. In the case that all the sides are equal then we refer to it as equilateral.
Likewise, the larger the triangle means that the three elements are more present, making the relationship more successful.
Friendship : This is one of the types of couple love which is characterized when the intimacy component is very present in the relationship, but there is a lack of feelings of passion or commitment in the romantic sense. These kinds of love can be the root of other forms of relationships. Therefore, these loves are the ones that tell each other absolutely everything. Furthermore also there is a degree of love but it still does not equate to a loving relationship.
Obsession: To understand love we must understand this stage or types of love In it, people feel high levels of lust and physical passion towards their lover, but without the intention of a commitment being present. So much so that in these relationships, there is still no deep sense of intimacy.
empty love : In these types of falling in love People feel a commitment to their partner but without feeling passion or having a certain intimacy with them. Many times, these types of romance arise after an obsession. Furthermore, these types of love are those that some share with family.
Romanticism: One of the types of love most desired is precisely this one. In these forms of love, people bond emotionally through both intimacy and physical passion. Relationships like this have deep conversations that can help them learn intimate details about both each other. In them you can understand the expression of ‘feeling butterflies in your stomach’.
Company: In these types of loves we can see a high degree of intimacy and commitment to the loved one. These relationships can be seen in some marriage relationships that have been going on for many years where the passion has died, but there is a very strong bond between the couple. It is normal that in a very long relationship there end up being stages with one of these love classes
Fatuous : In these forms of understand love , both commitment and passion are very present unlike intimacy. Fatuous love is mainly characterized by a dizzying courtship in which the passion of a relationship motivates a commitment. The problem is that in these relationships there is no stabilizing influence of intimacy.
Consummate love: If we can stable the best kind of love This is consummate love. This is characterized by the presence of the three components in equal parts. Therefore, it represents the ideal relationship. Couples who experience this type of love have great sex several years into their relationship. Furthermore, they do not imagine themselves with anyone else and they do not see themselves happy without the company of their partner (without being dependent on them). In this way, in these kinds of love, relationships always manage to overcome both their differences and face the stressors that may arise.
As you can imagine, we all want a consummate love , since these forms of relationships fill us with energy. According to psychologists, the challenge of these relationships lies mainly in being able to maintain it.
Types of lovers
There are other theories that can complement the Strenberg’s vision One of them is the one offered by Lee where he established the types of lovers based on an analysis of the different writings about love that have been lived through the centuries. This perspective can be a different way to view different kinds of love.
Pragma : In these types of falling in love The most practical aspects of love are emphasized. The lover of the pragmatic style calculates both compatibility and sensitivity in relationships. Therefore, in these forms of love the lover is concerned that there are the same goals in life, the status of the other as well as different pragmatic visions.
Mania : In these types of love They are mainly characterized by volatility, insecurity and possessiveness. In these lovers, emotions are the main protagonists. So much so that they can get very upset during arguments, or even have trouble sleeping when they are very much in love.
Agape : In these love classes the lover is clearly altruistic and selfless. They can be identified when people in a relationship give of themselves without expecting anything in return. So much so that the lover places the couple’s happiness above his own and even sacrifices himself to benefit them.
Eros: These types of romance It is characterized by a lover who focuses primarily on the chemistry in a relationship. Therefore, in these kinds of love, emotional participation on the part of the other is very important.
ludus : In these types of love The game of seduction and the fun that can exist in a loving relationship is emphasized. These types of lovers stay away from commitment and have several love interests at the same time.
Storge :The lover of these types of romance It develops slowly over time. At first he hooks up with someone through friendship and it ends up becoming a sexual relationship after a long time. These relationships are very likely to end up being friends even after a breakup.
According to him psychologist Strenberg , each component of love exists differently in each relationship. So much so that all three components of love are necessary for a romantic relationship, but the amount of each of them is never equal in different couples or even within the same relationship over the years.
Even so, there are formulas to achieve the best kind of love in a relationship. Many times we think that going to couples therapy is only for problems in a relationship, but the reality is that it can also help us create a much better bond with our lovers. Additionally, knowing how the components of different types of love interact can help you highlight the areas you need to improve both with your partner and in your personal development.
