Let’s talk without taboos: surely, at least once in your life, you have felt insecurity: as if everything was beyond you and you were not good enough to face your problems.
In the end, it is not about saying what is right or wrong, but about identifying, embracing and managing each emotion and the impact it may have on your life. It is a reality that the way we relate to the world is related to the way we feel. That is why self-esteem is, perhaps, the concept most associated with the security that is felt when we talk to other people.
But, What happens then when that security disappears? To face these situations, it is key to know the causes of self-doubt.
When we talk about insecurity, we are referring to the lack of confidence that a person may feel in themselves and their abilities. This can lurk regardless of age, gender or social status, and can manifest itself in various ways in daily life.
Insecurity often has a significant effect on our social interactions, professional development, and self-esteem. Those who suffer from it may feel afraid of failure, constantly compare themselves with others, have difficulties expressing their ideas, be overly self-critical, procrastinate, among other sensations that impact their personal development.
Causes of insecurity
There are different factors that can trigger insecurity in someone. Here are some of them:
1. Need for control
It can be stated that resistance to taking risks when making decisions considerably increases the possibility of experiencing insecurity.
By seeking assurances that circumstances will develop as we wish, we are prone to blocking ourselves in the face of any hint of uncertainty. The need in itself is not negative, but once we get used to obtaining security, it is difficult for us to give it up.
Constantly focusing on what is missing intensifies the perception of areas for improvement, however, it also fuels the feeling that things could go wrong. This pessimistic approach increases the feeling of danger and insecurity in all aspects of life.
2. Fear of facing problems
This point is closely related to the previous one. Those who avoid facing problems experience a short-term sense of relief, but increase the likelihood of feeling insecure. By postponing decisions, risk perception increases and fewer triumphs are accumulated compared to those who take risks and face the consequences.
If we postpone solutions to problems, confidence and self-esteem are not strengthened. Therefore, it is essential to change your mentality and start by making small daily decisions to eventually address the more complex ones.
3. Emotional deficiencies during childhood and adolescence
The type of education and support that a person receives from their parents, siblings, grandparents, and even friends during their development is a large part of the basis of their self-esteem. When a person receives enough recognition and support, they are more likely to be more confident during their adulthood.
On the other hand, if a person during their childhood or adolescence experiences various emotional deficiencies or very demanding educational patterns, with little sense of value and little physical contact, it is natural that during adulthood they will be more insecure.
4. Genetics
It is important to understand that each person is born with a genetic disposition that will directly influence your propensity for anxiety when dealing with social relationships, making decisions or even enjoying your leisure time.
If we go to computer terms, we could then say that genetics is like the hardware on which the different “programs” will be uploaded throughout life.
5. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Experiencing traumatic situations such as accidents, assaults, fires and even bullying can lead to feeling insecure. These events intensify the perception of risk and cause those who have experienced them to tend to be more cautious and insecure in certain areas of your life.
6. The vision of life of our social circle
The presence or absence of a social circle of reference, made up of family, friends, classmates, work and leisure, essential when evaluating the degree of security experienced by each individual.
Finally, people are a reflection in which we see ourselves. If the image they reflect is favorable, we are more likely to feel safe and have high self-esteem.
It is essential to relate to others and develop effective communication skills, where we are able to express our desires, face daily conflicts, and provide and receive help. It is not advisable to adopt a deterministic perspective in which everything is predetermined, since everything depends on the individual motivation to introduce changes and learn to face situations in a different way, which will allow us to overcome the feeling of insecurity.
With the appropriate support from a professional, you can learn to manage or face problems, responsibilities and decisions in a different way than the one we have assumed all our lives. Thus, insecurity will not continue to be a rock on the road.
