What Is Reverse Psychology And How To Use It In Love?
We talk about reverse psychology when we try to induce in the other an attitude contrary to what we are communicating or what we are showing.
Reverse psychology, in English reverse psychology, is actually a manipulation mechanism that tries to induce a person to do something they really don’t want to do. This type of psychological tactic is normally used with children and adolescents.
A person’s attempt to restore a freedom of action that he feels threatened is called reactance in psychology. This attitude is typical of children and adolescents, who at the height of their identity construction tend to respond with reactance and, therefore, to disobey an order that, even believing it to be correct, they do not want to do because it is an order that It is undermining your freedom.
For this reason, very often parents tend to carry out reverse psychology tactics to lead their children along the path they consider appropriate. It is the trivial case, for example, of the child who does not want to eat fish or vegetables. The more you force the child to eat it, the more she will refuse to eat it.
But how to make it so attractive? The first step would be to create a dish and a story as attractive as possible to intrigue him and, later, through reverse psychology also give him a little of the forbidden.
But what is the correct way to relate to someone? Do we really have to use reverse psychology in education?
In the end, this type of psychology It is a type of psychological process of manipulation To what extent is it really correct to use it? There are counterclaims in this sense, because reverse psychology uses the weaknesses of the other to open a window to the desires that WE want the other to hear.
At the educational level there are two unfavorable points to consider:
The first point is that if you allow a child to do the opposite of what the parent says, you are still undermining his authority So reverse psychology opens up a flaw in another aspect of education.
At the educational level, communication works more than reverse psychology Children learn through communication and explanation of phenomena and things. Obviously, it may happen that you use reverse psychology in certain situations, but it is always better to try to have a communicative approach and not just an imposing or reverse one.
In adulthood, reverse psychology can be used both in the workplace and especially in love. Although, in adulthood, some attitudes of reverse psychology are more easily recognized, there are also more veiled cases that are applied by companies or couples (or ex-partners).
At work, an example might be a company that promotes after-hours employee training courses that no one signs up for: one tactic to get people to join would be to announce that the courses are being canceled (even if maybe that’s not true). This could make workers aware that they are missing out on an important opportunity and perhaps give them a nudge to take a look and eventually sign up.
In love, reverse psychology can be used to win someone over or revive a couple’s relationship. Although, it should always be used with caution, because in the end the important thing is always what the other person feels, not what we impose on them. But let’s look at these aspects more closely.
How to use reverse psychology
This psychological process should not be used with caution, and above all it is not possible to think about always implementing it with people and turning it into a habit.
If you encounter a reverse manipulative attitude, you can ask yourself the following questions, to try to limit it to only certain situations and contexts:
Who do you use this method with and why? If you use it because your child eats more vegetables, it may also be good, but if you use it to try to manipulate a company employee, a customer, or even a spouse, it may not be good.
What effect does reverse psychology have on the person it addresses? Denying something could lead the other to do the opposite, but it could also be that they really don’t do it if it is more comfortable.
What is the other person’s need for freedom? As we have seen, in the phase of construction of the person’s identity, or in the case of people who need self-affirmation, reverse psychology tactics are more likely to work (if we order something made by someone who does not like taking orders , it is very likely that you will respond by doing the opposite).
In any case, we must always be careful with what we want to achieve and play with other people’s psychology, since we could cause security and self-esteem problems for those in front of us.
Reverse psychology in love
Reverse psychology can also be used in love.
The game of seduction has its own rules that can help you get your ex back, or revive the couple’s relationship. Love must never fail in the game of seduction for this game to be successful. Otherwise, it will be very difficult to win over someone who has (or no longer has) feelings: you could risk creating a flare-up that could disappear after a short time.
We will analyze two situations specifically: reverse psychology within a relationship and getting an ex-partner back. It should be remembered that these are just some tips to revive the game of seduction, but if you need advice or an in-depth look at your work as a couple, it is always best to consult an expert in the field.
Indifference in love
Can reverse psychology and indifference in love help a couple who has stagnated in their relationship?
The answer is probably yes, because reverse psychology can help give others what they don’t expect.
In a relationship, we know each other so well that it can happen that this deep knowledge leads love to routine and routine to indifference.
Indifference is one of the main problems of love in everyday life. Surprising your partner could be a way to attract attention again and regain their interest.
You don’t necessarily have to think about big attitudes or events, but some daily changes can be enough: such as stopping always calling your partner at the usual time or waiting for them to call.
Other reverse psychology tactics include the possibility of never prohibit others from doing something but rather explicitly explain the advantages and disadvantages of your choice.
Like if he/she wants to go out with his/her friends, say something like: “ok, no problem, too bad I prepared a surprise tonight.” In this way, the other feels free but intrigued by the proposal (even if, if applied frequently or depending on how it is applied, this tactic could be close to emotional blackmail).
Reverse psychology can help surprise an indifferent or boring relationship, but you should always be careful not to lead to too direct or recurring manipulation.
How to get an ex back
Reverse psychology can be a tactic to win over a person or get an ex back: it can be useful to attract someone to us, but if you don’t know the person you are dealing with well enough or if there are no underlying feelings, It could also be that our tactic is not working and leads to the opposite effect (i.e. distancing the other).
As we have said so far and we repeat, reverse psychology is a manipulation tactic, therefore, in mild forms, or in the broader scheme of a seduction game, it could also be used, but in the case of doubts or problems of romantic relationships or toxic and addictive relationships, it is always better to ask for help from an expert in this area.
Even in the case of seducing a new or first partner, it could be useful to play with reverse psychology to become more attractive and charismatic (attractive not in a physical sense but in a more general sense).
In the game of seduction, showing contradictory attitudes, it could lead the other to get closer because seduction is a game oscillating between attraction and fear.
In this sense, we could develop some points to recover a partner:
We try to appear confident: we all appreciate security in others and a confident person is usually more attractive than a person who is afraid, does not speak or is too insecure.
Alternative interest and indifference. In seduction it is important to show interest, but at the same time escape a little if necessary. Even body language can help us in this context. Getting closer to a person can generate more empathy and attraction; Therefore, caressing one hand or shoulder pretending it is by mistake could spark interest in the other. But be careful because if this game is not natural, it could have the opposite effect, and above all remember that you do not have to stay physically close for long, so as not to scare the other or be annoying. Always think that getting physically closer is invading the other’s space, so care must be taken.
Try going out in a group. The group can trust a person and could make you feel safer, also thanks to friends, who will surely do everything possible to make you leave in a good light. Therefore, it is not always necessary for us to be alone with our partner; perhaps the other party will request it in subsequent appointments.
The king of reverse psychology attitudes is to make one person jealous by showing interest in another person whom we are not interested in. This kind of psychological love tactic might work, but it doesn’t. In fact, not everyone can handle competition with others or jealousy well, so if you appear shy, insecure or uninterested, this technique will probably dispel the attempt to win back and generate only anger or indifference.
These are some seduction techniques to get an ex back or win a partner, which may include reverse psychology tactics. But let’s see why these mechanisms work and try to understand the real reason why we want to win back an ex.
