What is Self-criticism? 7 Signs That You Are a Person Who is Too Critical of You

Are you too self-critical of yourself? Do you think you are a person who is too critical of mistakes? Discover the signs that you are too self-critical and how to fix it.

The self-criticism It usually appears when people do not get the results we expected. In some cases, being self-critical can motivate us towards those goals that we so desire, however, most of the time this internal voice can be more harmful than useful.

In fact, self-criticism is often related to negative internal dialogue, low self-esteem, and in more extreme cases, disorders such as depression. Being a critical person with oneself can affect our attitudes so much that our personal and professional lives can be harmed. But, how can we detect that our self-criticism is destructive for us?

What is self-criticism?

The self-criticism is defined as the tendency people have to engage in negative self-evaluation. Normally, when a person is critical of themselves, they usually feel useless, a failure, or guilty for not meeting their expectations.

In fact, be too self-critical It is associated with focusing on negative thoughts. This can lead to decreased motivation and has even been linked to depressive disorders. Therefore, if you are a person who is too critical of yourself, it is something that you should try to solve.

Am I too self-critical of myself?

To know if you really are a critical person or have a tendency to abuse this type of thoughts, there are a series of signs that will allow you to know if you are too self-critical of yourself.

1. You have different standards for yourself than for your friends: A person with too much self-criticism She is usually more lenient with her friends than with herself. That is, she usually sees the positive in others but not in themselves.
2. You deflect compliments: When you don’t know how to be assertive, this can be a sign that you really are a person who criticizes yourself too much.
3. Too much guilt: A critical person You usually know when the mistakes have been your responsibility. On the other hand, by being too self-critical, people can blame themselves excessively for what others have done.
4. You had critical parents: People who have lived in environments where criticism was continuous usually have a more self-critical personality with themselves. In fact, self-criticism is very often a learned behavior.
5. Childhood traumas: When someone suffers from painful experiences during childhood, they may end up not processing those kinds of feelings. In these cases, people can end up believing certain limiting beliefs that prevent them from moving towards what they really want in their lives.
6. Comparing yourself too much with others: Be self-critical It is often accompanied by the habit of constantly comparing oneself with others.
7. Focus on the negative: People with too much self-criticism They tend to focus on those negative aspects instead of seeing everything they have achieved with their efforts. Furthermore, they tend to think in black and white, that is, they evaluate events without intermediate points.

A person is usually reasonable in both his achievements and failures. On the other hand, individuals with a self-critical thinking They often end up thinking that everything they do has negative results, something that can lead to mental health problems. That is why, if you identify with this type of attitude, it is advisable to go to a psychology professional.

Self-criticism: Examples

The people that they fall into excessive self-criticism They frequently have negative thoughts even when faced with the smallest errors. In fact, a self-critical person will use phrases like:

• ¡Ugh, why am I such an idiot! I’ve done this a thousand times and I manage to mess it up again.
• That presentation was a disaster. I know I’m not good at public speaking, so why didn’t I let classmates take the initiative?
• It’s terrible to think about that mistake… What’s wrong with me?

Luckily, no matter what self-critical Whatever you are with yourself, it is always possible to change this type of behavior. With effort, and also with the help of a mental health professional, we can learn to be kinder and more realistic with our self-evaluations.

Why do I suffer from excessive self-criticism?

There are a series of reasons that are linked to suffering from a excessive self-criticism Among the most common, we can highlight the following.

• Your parents were very critical of you: One of the reasons is that you grew up in an environment very critical As children we shape our personality, therefore, if you have suffered a lot of criticism you may have integrated this behavior into your thoughts.
• You think it motivates you: Unconsciously many people believe that self-criticism can help you become more motivated in your aspirations. The reality is that if this is done in a balanced way it can have these effects.
• Fear of what others say: When you care too much about what people think of you, you can end up having a very self-critical personality

What is positive self-criticism?

As we have mentioned, not always self-criticism can be negative. In fact, being a critical person in certain aspects is something recommended. This happens because there are two types of self-criticism.

Constructive self-criticism

It is common that when thinking about self-criticism, people associate it with a negative concept. The reality is that a constructive criticism It involves seeing what we can learn or change in an aspect, that is, it is useful to do better in the future. This type of self-criticism serves to build new solutions or paths. When a person has constructive self-criticism, he usually demonstrates healthy self-esteem since he is capable of knowing how to take advantage of the good when he has made a mistake.

Destructive self-criticism

A negative self-criticism It is the one that does not allow us to move forward. In fact, people often block themselves from these types of thoughts since they only highlight the negative when faced with an error. In many cases, people with too much destructive self-criticism tend to have low self-esteem because they speak to themselves in a way that is too harsh, cruel and severe.

Benefits of self-criticism

The self-criticism If done in a balanced way, it can provide us with a series of benefits on a mental and emotional level. Among them, psychologists highlight the following.

• Improve our defects and skills: A good self-criticism or constructive criticism It can help us improve in those aspects in which we are good or in which we are weaker.
• Tolerate failures: A critical person You can see the positive side of your mistakes. This way, you will use these personal ‘failures’ to learn and improve.
• Better communication with others: By better detecting our failures, we can analyze relationships and the problems that arise in them from another perspective.
• Emotional intelligence: By accepting a self-criticism We are improving our emotional intelligence. In these cases, our emotions do not take control of the attitude we have towards a situation.

People with a good self-criticism They can benefit from all these advantages. Therefore, it is good to change negative internal criticism for more positive ones.

How to manage good self-criticism?

To be a critical person without having a tendency to destructive self-criticism psychologists highlight the following advice.

• Pay attention to your thoughts: We are so used to hearing our thoughts that it is easy not to see the patterns we follow in them. By paying attention to our internal dialogue, we can see how we treat ourselves and the pattern we follow to get to this point.
• Change perspective: Thinking too much about problems can be helpful if working on a solution. Therefore, for stop self-criticism You should ask yourself if there really is any use in thinking about what is worrying you.
• be rational: Sometimes we let our emotions guide our criticism. Before judging yourself and blaming yourself, try to examine the evidence.
• Replace your negative thoughts: When you detect a negative thought that you know is not entirely true, it is important that you try to replace it with a more realistic statement. For example before self-criticism with phrases as: “I’ll never get a promotion” try replacing it with: “ If I work hard and continue to invest in myself, I may one day get promoted.”.
• Ask yourself what you would say to a friend: People tend to be very compassionate with others and not with ourselves. Therefore, if you are facing a destructive self-criticism perhaps it is advisable to think about what you would tell or recommend to a friend.

The self-criticism It can end up limiting us in many ways. In these cases, if you believe that your negative thoughts are holding you back or preventing you from enjoying many aspects of your life, it is important that you work to change them.

How to deal with self-criticism in adolescence?

During adolescence, people experience great emotional ups and downs because our brain and personality are still in formation. Therefore, many adolescents may experience a excessive self-criticism due to this emotional instability. It is during this age when negative self-criticism can have detrimental effects on your self-esteem.

During these ages, adolescents must learn to give more value to their own vision than to what others think of them. If we accept what others say or think above our vision, we end up crushing ourselves.

As parents, it is important to try to avoid overprotection but at the same time learn to listen to our children when they have problems both with their identity and with others. Furthermore, to encourage a good self-esteem and positive self-criticism it is important to spend quality time with your family.

How to stop being self-critical?

For stop being self-critical With ourselves it is vital to work with our emotions and our interior. In addition, you should try to recognize which thoughts are useful and which are not. By recognizing what goes well for us and detecting failures without judging them, we can leave destructive self-criticism behind. A mental health professional can help you in this process.