What Is Shame In Psychology

According to psychology, shame is a feeling of humiliation that arises with the perception that we are acting incorrectly or indecorous. According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology⁽¹⁾, is a very unpleasant and self-conscious emotion that occurs when faced with different performances and actions. In addition, it is characterized by the instant reaction of avoiding social relationships and, in some cases, anger or a repressive attitude arises.

Its etymology comes from the Latin word “verecundía”, which translates as indecorous, disturbing or humiliating. Consequently, the meaning of shame has to do with the mood produced by inappropriate actions, whether personal or foreign. For example, it is common to feel ashamed for something inappropriate done by an acquaintance, family member, or loved one, or for some act committed by oneself. Discover why we feel ashamed of others.

In other words, shame is a natural secondary emotion linked to self-esteem and that leads us to hide our failures when we think that we are not acting correctly. His main function is to regulate human behavior

How shame manifests itself

When we are ashamed our body manifests a series of physiological symptoms. We see them below:

• Muscle tension.
• Reddish coloration on the face.
• Arms dropped.
• Need to flee from the place we are in.

What is the cause of shame? It is common to experience it when social norms are violated or the agreements that maintain coexistence. In fact, when that happens, we usually look for a way to escape from that situation as an innate survival response. In this article you will see what the survival instinct is in psychology.

Likewise, shame immediately boosts the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for inhibiting behaviors that we consider inappropriate. Coupled with this, shame It is activated due to the following factors :

• The feeling or fear of failure.
• The fear of not being socially accepted.
• Lack of identity.
• Childhood traumas.
• Fear of making mistakes that reveal certain inabilities or limitations.
• The presence of emotional blocks.
• Excessive perfectionism or very high expectations.
• Insecurity in social relationships.
• Admiring other people excessively and considering them better than oneself.
• Excess vulnerability.

Above all, it is essential to learn to manage this emotional state to do not fall into social isolation or destructive self-criticism which is highly detrimental to having good self-esteem.

Shame is usually talked about as a unique emotion. However, according to their manifestations and differences, there are the following types of shame:

1. pure shame: is the most general type of shame. It is one that is triggered through a situation of redress or ignominy towards us or towards other people. The reactions are very evident, therefore, they cannot be hidden or denied. Coupled with that, it is a type of shame that arises as a consequence of a strong perception of dishonor in the person who has caused it.
2. Shame of others: It is also known as vicarious shame. It occurs when an individual commits a mistake or inappropriate action and we experience the emotion of shame, as if we had done it ourselves. It is triggered due to empathy mechanisms because we project the feeling onto others, that is, it is indirect shame.
3. fake shame: As its name suggests, it is a shame that is not actually experienced, but is feigned. It can arise when someone is accused of actions they did not commit and still experiences the shameful emotion. Likewise, it refers to when shame is feigned to empathize with a social group and, in reality, there is no internal sensation of emotion.
4. Shame of shame: refers to feeling ashamed of being ashamed. In other words, it means that people are aware of their emotion and experience shame again for what they do. It is also known as secret shame, since it is an internal sensation of recognizing what is happening.
5. toxic shame: It is one of the most complex and delicate types of shame, since it includes trauma or aggression. It is a harmful and toxic shame that individuals experience when subjected to abuse or harassment, which is why it does not respond to an innate reaction, but rather a defensive one. Individuals who experience this type of shame have a dissociation that limits their reactions. Therefore, it is essential to help them overcome the situation.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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