What Is The Ego And How Does It Dominate Us? 7 Ways It Distorts Our Reality
Do you think your ego dominates you? What happens if you let your ego dominate you and constantly repress yourself? Discover what the ego really is and how we can remove all its mental restrictions.
On many occasions we refer to the ego to point out the excessive valuation that a person has towards himself. In these cases we say that the person’s vision is distorted and tends to magnify his own figure, being unfaithful to reality. This happens to those people who have a tendency to believe themselves superior to others and do not hesitate to point it out to everyone around them.
Although this is a definition of ego Very widespread, the reality is that having an ego ends up meaning that people need the approval of others as well as their social recognition. The reason is that an egomaniac is synonymous with insecurities and a certain fear of rejection by others. That is why we must be able to recognize the ego within us to control it.
The definition of ego as we know it today was first formulated in 1923 by Freud in his work The Ego and the Id. Within this book this psychologist defined that the human mind was divided into three different components: the superego, the ego and the id According to this author, each of these parts of our mind exercises a different function within human consciousness. In this way, to know what the ego is and its meaning in our psyche we must take into account these three parts of the mind.
It
The id is the representation of the most primitive part of our mind. In the id we contain all our repressed desires and memories. Within this part of our consciousness are sexual impulses, aggressive behaviors and those childhood traumas that have marked us. This part of our mind does not have much contact with reality and always works in a parallel way to our external world. The only thing that moves these parts of our mind is the desire for pleasure. The id is very present in babies and ends up being seen controlled through ego and the superego.
superego
In total opposition to the id, the superego represents our moral conscience. So much so that it imposes a value system on us that punishes and keeps the id at bay through guilt. In the superego we have the goal of being an ideal self, a vision of what our self should be. As a result of this insatiable search, the id and the superego are constantly in conflict.
Ego
He ego It is the third part of the psyche and has the role of mediating between the conflict of the id and the superego. Freud established the definition of ego as the most rational and realistic part of the human mind. Therefore, our egos are concerned with the desire to achieve pleasure (in the same way as the id) but navigate reality to see a strategy that adapts to the moral and ethical values of society, thus also satisfying the superego
The ego is a part of ourselves that can evaluate information objectively and make decisions based on our interests. But in many cases the ego and the self have been closely related, since most relate it to our true identity. Currently, the ego and its meaning are associated with certain negative evaluations, such as too much value towards oneself. On the other hand the Freud’s ego establishes that this is necessary for our mental health.
But when someone becomes too dominated by the ego this can cause a complete rejection of our id impulses and only looking towards all the desires of our superego. In this way, there is no balance and the ego and the self They enter into a conflict that can wreak havoc on our psyche that requires the consultation of a mental health professional.
And you, do you allow yourself to be dominated by the ego? Take the test to find out:
How can I know if the ego dominates my actions?
To know if you are being dominated, it is important to do self-analysis. As we have said, having an ego is vital for our mental balance, but when it limits us excessively it can pose a problem for our psychological health. We can observe that the ego distorts our reality through the following actions.
1. Don’t leave your comfort zone
A person who risks little and is constantly in his comfort zone can reveal a bad relationship between ego and the self You see yourself with a thousand excuses not to change something in your life for fear of failure. You try to dominate your territory and feel like a fish in water because in reality you are afraid of the unknown.
2. False self-esteem
You may see yourself saying positive things about yourself that you don’t really believe. Simply saying it out loud makes it seem real. You need to convince others of your abilities, resources and achievements and ask others to verbalize those same things to you to replenish that self-esteem that quickly deflates. This way the ego It is driven even more to control the impulses of the id and try to achieve the superego or the idealized image of yourself.
3. You seek approval
A egomaniac is synonymous of the incessant search to be approved by others. In this way, you feel bad when you are not reinforced or recognized. That need for constant recognition is your energy, what others say gives you identity. If you don’t receive it you feel bad, angry, sad, indignant and you are always asking questions of others who seek that approval.
4. You try to attract the attention of others
You magnify or dramatize your explanations to attract the attention of others to give more strength to your ego In addition, you can boast about possessions, knowledge, physical appearance… and give your opinion when no one has asked you for it or when it makes no sense for you to do so because it is not being talked about in the situation.
You are always aware of the impression you are going to make on others and you are more attentive to that than to the situation itself. On many occasions, repressing your primitive impulses so much can cause frustrations that make you envy in a certain way the enjoyment of others.
6. Anger or rage reactions
When you are not right or other people try to dominate the situation, you feel threatened and react aggressively or bluntly. You take all criticism personally and get greatly offended. This happens because the ego He wants to please the superego more than the id and this is hurting the idealized version of yourself.
7. Fear of failing
Having an overly inflated ego is also synonymous with not being able to take risks and failing. The reason is that the ego tries to look for everything related to the idea of our ideal version, trying to reject what is imposed on it. Therefore when the ego and the self They are so united they hinder our success through fear of failure. Furthermore, all of this is mixed with the non-conformist side that is synonymous with trying to achieve the idealized image of our superego.
These may be some of the signs that we must identify when different types of ego dominate our mind and repress the most instinctive side of consciousness in every way. In order to enjoy good mental health, according to psychoanalysis it is essential to balance the restrictions of the ego and balance the id and the superego through it. In those cases where that the ego Try to dominate and eliminate the id, to go in favor of the superego, certain mental problems often appear that we must solve through a professional psychologist.
What dangers do you run if you let yourself be carried away by your ego?
After all that has been said, it is evident that the most common response when someone is get carried away by the ego It’s social rejection, which is precisely what you don’t want. It is quite likely that the people around you will gradually distance themselves and you will have short-lasting friendships or even feel socially isolated. This can lead to an increase in your symptoms in an attempt not to sink, or it can lead to a significant alteration in your self-esteem and a reduction in mood and the appearance of apathy, feelings of guilt and frustration.
How to eliminate a person’s ego?
Have the ego controlling More one part of our consciousness than another causes us to suffer many consequences in our mental health. Therefore, to eliminate this excessive presence of our ego by dominating the instinctive part of us, we can follow the following tips.
1. Stop seeking recognition from others
Question yourself if you need external acceptance to be happy. Obviously we all like to be positively valued and reinforced, but it is actually much better to be able to do a good self-analysis than to need others, since many times the environment does not reinforce us every time we do something well. In this way, if you think that you professional ego or spiritual ego is dominating your decisions, take some time to rest and analyze the reason for your actions and what you really want in your life.
It is not good to believe too much or to live up to the bitumen. Try to value your efforts and your achievements as well as your mistakes. Self-criticize when necessary and congratulate yourself when you have achieved or put effort into something. By hurting someone’s pride you get no rewards, so the essential thing is to focus on yourself to reach your goals. All this without forgetting that you must satisfy the most impulsive part of it and enjoy small moments.
3. Put aside self-demand
Perfectionism helps us grow, but it can also hurt us a lot. Try to set goals, but try to make them realistic and give you room for maneuver. Perfection doesn’t exist, so stop looking for it trying satisfy the ego and superego
4. Accept your limitations
Instead of denying them, accept them, they are there because everyone has them, you are no less. Once you accept your limits, you can try to improve, if possible, some aspects of yourself, but others you will simply have to learn to live with. In some cases the ego distorts reality so that we try to give our all to reach our most ideal version. It is necessary to understand that we all have limits and that we must live with them.
5. Put aside competitiveness
Do you feel like you are always right or do you want to win at everything? Life is not a constant competition. Sometimes you have to go hand in hand and work together with others. Learn to be a team and work as a team with people. You don’t have to be the best at everything or be the one who has the most things, it’s not necessary, you don’t have to prove anything to others or to anyone. types of ego Normally there are words with ego that only tend to throw negative thoughts at you when you are the worst in a situation. In these cases you should try to see that nothing defines you, whether positive or negative.
6. Learn to be in the present
Enjoy the little things and appreciate everything you have around you. Look for the positive side of things, value the qualities of the people around you, accept the aspects in which others are better than you, enjoy hobbies and free time without competing and put yourself in the shoes of others. By being in the present, you keep the ego’s tendency to try to satisfy the superego and leave the id behind more at bay. This is the best way to avoid being a egomaniac and its meaning ends up dominating our lives.
7. Work on your interior
Sometimes the incessant pursuit of the idealized version of yourself causes you to end up dealing with an ego that tries to eliminate the id from your consciousness. In order to balance these three features of our mind, it is essential to try to work within ourselves to have the balanced ego In this case, meditation or introspection will help you achieve this great goal.
It could be said that to overcome the imbalance of the ego we must try to be the best version of ourselves, but not the one that the superego constantly points to but rather the most human part of yourself that you have. The good ego gauge It is essential to enjoy both our impulses and our social life. The key is always balance.
