Perfectionism is a personality characteristic that has two main aspects: favorable and unfavorable.
Perfectionism is a personality characteristic that has two main aspects: favorable (e.g. the perfectionist is responsible) and unfavorable (e.g. anticipatory anxiety).
In this sense, what is an enormous advantage in some areas (e.g. work), can become an emotional handicap (e.g. anxiety) that seriously harms the individual’s health, to the point of becoming a trait. that nullifies the initial virtue (e.g. anxiety maintained over time can lead to a disorder that reduces work performance).
The perfectionist will have to accept and regulate this personality attribute, acquiring psychological strategies that neutralize the unpleasant aspects of perfectionism (e.g. through specific relaxation techniques and intervention in thinking style).
We are often asked: “why” or “how” a person becomes a perfectionist. Although there is no unitary answer (different circumstances can converge in a similar personality style), psychology does have a series of indicators that favor the development and maintenance of this trait:
When parents are excessively critical of their children, they overvalue the praise received by their parents; Therefore, they will seek to please them, acting with the main objective “not to disappoint them” and to “be proud” of them.
High comparison:
In families with a high history of achievement (based on what each family unit considers successful), a pattern is usually created in which the members, consciously or unconsciously, guide their behavior based on what they believe is expected of them (notoriety). ). The pressure to obtain results, as well as the admiration and pride they generate, will raise self-demand.
Low selfsteem:
People who have gone through traumatic life circumstances (e.g. bullying at school) tend to seek acceptance from others, setting unrealistic levels of demand for themselves, for fear of disappointing. They experience the mistake as a failure, trying excessively to compensate for their feelings of inferiority.
Abuse of positive reinforcement:
When children receive an unrealistic level of praise, they become accustomed to depending on the approval and adulation of others. In this case, his self-esteem will be too linked to what others think of him.
Unfavorable environments:
When minors are raised in an environment where there is a problem that requires special care (e.g. chronic illness), they grow up trying to “not cause problems” and “do things right.” In addition, they usually receive attention when they complete a task successfully (e.g. getting good grades), so their self-demand will increase to once again gain the interest of their loved ones.
Frustration:
If a child learns to “lose” in a deficit way, he does not tolerate “not winning”; assigning themselves unwise goals (no one is good at “everything”).
Modeling:
Children learn by observing the behavior of others, especially that of their parents; If they are perfectionists, it is likely that the child will imitate those people whom he considers his role model.
Psychosocial factor:
Society values ​​perfectionism as a positive trait, and favors it in all aspects (e.g. advertising). If perfectionism makes you suffer, we want to help you! Contact us, we will be happy to assist you.
“Perfectionism is a polished collection of errors (Mario Benedetti).”
