Sometimes feeling rejection towards our partner is something that can be considered normal since it is impossible for us to find ourselves wanting contact with our partner all the time. All of us can find ourselves at one or several times stressed, tired or simply not wanting to have an intimate and/or sexual encounter with our partner. However, when this situation persists and you constantly ask yourself, “Why do I feel rejection towards my partner? ” This may be an indicator that there is some underlying problem. This is why at PsychologyFor we are going to help you do an analysis of this situation and in the end you can answer your question.
On many occasions one is not aware or It is not possible to identify what the underlying problem is that is influencing you to feel that rejection towards your partner. Stopping giving importance and allowing this problem to persist will only increase it more and more and the relationship will become more fragile and unstable. It is important Identify where this rejection towards your partner comes from and once we have known the origin, a solution can be given.
There are 3 types of love that, when combined, form the necessary ingredients for a relationship to emerge. It is important to know these 3 components to be able to identify in which of them there could be a deficiency, which could be generating a significant imbalance that ends up manifesting in a rejection towards the couple.
Eros (erotic love): This type of love refers to the desire for the other, the sexual and passionate desire towards the partner.
Philia (friendship): It is being able to be friends with your partner, have a common project, compatible personal values and that you can also have fun together.
Agape (tenderness): It refers to unconditional and selfless love for the other. The care for the couple, the tenderness. It is being generous and supportive of the other person, sharing their suffering.
For a balanced relationship to exist, it is necessary for these 3 elements to appear, although some with more intensity than others but they are there. When one of them has been lost, discomfort and a feeling of dissatisfaction is experienced on one or both parties.
Causes of rejection towards the partner
There are many causes for which one can experience rejection towards one’s partner at a certain moment. Among the main ones are the following:
That one of the components of love in the couple ceases to exist (eros, philia or agape)
having fallen into monotony This often happens in couples who have been in a relationship for a long time and/or who live together and find themselves trapped in the same routine, which leads to boredom.
Having idealized the couple too much This generally occurs in the stage of falling in love, and once this stage is over and you see the person for what they really are, you can lose interest in them even completely.
Become obsessed with defects of the couple and focus only on them, completely leaving aside the positive aspects that it also has.
Have the feeling of loss of freedom being with another person. When all we want is to focus on ourselves to the point that we can come to see our partner as a heavy burden.
When they have couple problems constants.
In this other article we tell you why you get angry with your boyfriend about everything.
Consequences of constant rejection towards your partner
Constant rejection of your partner can have a series of consequences not only for the relationship but also for each member of the couple individually. Between the main consequences the following are found:
Provokes distancing and weakens the relationship over time
Generates in the rejected person feelings of insecurity, irascibility and frustration
The discussions, resentments, reproaches and demands. In this other article we give you a series of tips so you can learn to argue as a couple.
Sexual desire declines in both as the person who rejects may feel pressured and the other too frustrated and belittled.
Causes physical and psychological pain on both sides
It usually confuses the person who is rejected and if the topic is not discussed it can cause misunderstandings.
Provokes distrust towards the one who rejects.
What to do if I feel rejection towards my partner
As we have seen in the previous section, feeling rejection towards your partner can trigger a series of consequences at the individual and couple level. If, apart from constantly asking yourself “why do I feel rejection towards my partner?”, you would like to be able to do something to overcome it and maintain your relationship, here are a series of tips that can help you achieve this.
Identify the origin of the rejection you feel towards your partner
In case you have not yet detected where this rejection comes from, you can help yourself by analyzing in this article each of the causes of rejection towards your partner as well as detect those moments or situations where rejection appears more frequently. For example, you may reject your partner when it comes to having sex but not for everything else.
In this case, it would be good for you to reflect on things like: “At what point does this rejection begin? Does it only appear under certain circumstances? Is it about the sexual relationship or my desire for the person? Can something be done to stop it? solve it?”
Talk to him/her
After having identified and analyzed the origin of the rejection you feel towards your partner, communicate how you feel and what is really happening. assertively and empathetically Remember that by doing so you will improve communication with your partner and build trust.
Find a solution to this situation
Reach an agreement and/or a solution. In the event that this rejection is not so excessive and can be eliminated, it is necessary that new measures be implemented to combat the situation since if the same behavior continues, the rejection will even increase. In this other article we discover games and exercises for couples therapy.
If you cannot find a solution to the problem but you still want to stop feeling rejection and improve the relationship, you can always ask for help from a professional that can treat your case individually.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why do I feel rejection towards my partner? we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.
